It has been sometime since I have blogged, not that nothing has been going on but everything has been going on. I won't bore you with the details but I am back. Sorry for those of you that have missed me but thank you again for your emails.
I have moved to a new city, a new state, and even a new part of the country. When and where aren't important. During my absence, I hope you have been able to get the books that are now available. They will give you plenty to read in the meantime.
The simple point is that I am still single and STILL looking for the special right guy. Not another toad to add to the list of Lame Men and Bad Dates. I may be a princess but I am tired of kissing the endless, slime ridden, line of mouthy frogs and and feather brained lizards socks. This princess needs a prince before I turn into an impatient, untrusting, partial to pets instead of men, woman with a beehive, oh wait, I am half way there.
At least if there are not too many hunky men to look at, I certainly have beautiful scenery. My trusty dogs have joined me on the long journey however my trusty sidekick Theresa had to stay behind with her lame man, I mean lame husband, um, I mean her husband. We were always in the laughs. I guess I will have to be the lone star vagabond on the streets of love.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Off with his Pumpkin head
After doing more research online and already having suspicion that he was married, even though I asked him, "Are you married?" and he said, "To my work, yes." I replied to him, "You know exactly what I mean." He eagerly said, "No."
Turns out that Pumpkin Head is married, a cheater, and a liar and probably more than that. There was evidence of a marriage but no evidence of a divorce. Hhmmmm....
I cut Pumpkin head loose. That of course is the obvious reason of him being so elusive. I stopped talking to him and stopped taking his calls. After about a week of silence from me, guess what happened.
***
Turns out that Pumpkin Head is married, a cheater, and a liar and probably more than that. There was evidence of a marriage but no evidence of a divorce. Hhmmmm....
I cut Pumpkin head loose. That of course is the obvious reason of him being so elusive. I stopped talking to him and stopped taking his calls. After about a week of silence from me, guess what happened.
***
Lizard tongue loser
I should know by know that any type of monster can hide behind a great smile. After all every car salesman has a great smile. It is like the smell of bait that is hanging in a live trap. Then the cage slams shut and you realize to yourself, "Damn, I fell for it again." This date is no exception to that very scenario.
He showed up late because he got lost, there were two turns he had to make and only made one. Already the neon light flashed "idiot" on his forehead. Actually, let's start there. He looked like he stepped out of a 1980's commercial ad for Nerf. His hair was a spiky flat top with the sides shaved around his ears. He was wearing not only a 1980's style pullover with buttons on the neck but he also had a 1980's T-shirt on underneath that with colored sleeves and rock washed jeans (remember those?). Another thing, he was way too skinny. Don't let me forget to tell you that he showed up with his own bowling ball, bowling bag, and matching bowling shoes. Oh no, not another one! Damn it!
As we walked into the bowling alley where he wanted to meet, AC/DC was on the intercom. I like 80's music, that was the only thing good about the 1980's. We went up to the bar to have a drink and a baseball game was on the big screen. Yay for me. I can at least have something interesting to look at. lol It was the brewers and the Cardinals. Brewers were ahead bottom of the 3rd. Then he starts talking about bowling. He tells me the most uninteresting story about how and when he bought his bowling ball. I quickly tuned him out and tried to keep focus on the baseball game.
When there was finally a long break of silence from him, I asked, "Do you like baseball?" He replied with a blunt, "No." Ummm, okay. FREAK! Then at his feeble attempt to appear interested in the baseball game I was clearly more interested in, he asks, "So which teams are playing?" Since the names of the teams are literally written on the front of the uniforms, I thought it was a dumb question. I replied, "The Brewers and the Cardinals" In which he said, "I saw a cardinal on my way to work the other day."
What does that have to do with baseball? Then looking at the large screen television the game was on he asked, "What does STL mean?" I truly wanted to get up and walk out right then and there. I looked at him and doing my damnedest not to be insulting or a smart ass, I informed him, "STL stands for St. Louis. That is the city where the Cardinals are from." "Oh, I get." He said shaking his damn fool head up and down like one of those bobbing head dogs in the back window of an early 1990's Lincoln.
He kept scooting his bar stool over closer to mine so his leg would be touching mine. Each time he would move over, I would move over. His chair... scoot, scoot, scoot, then mine, scoot, scoot, scoot. He really didn't get the hint. By the time we fished our drink, there was a big space from where his bar stool started to where it ended up. Idiot!
With a streak of luck, my phone vibrates. Praise the Lord, I have a way out. It is my new straight-gay-guy-friend. I am thinking, this is my ticket out of here. I tried to text him back but no response. I was hoping he would give me a reason to quickly end the disaster date I was on. I told the loser I was with, "Gee, I hope everything is alright. I don't know if my friend needs me." I continued to wait for another text from him but I waited in vein. So the date from bowling hell continued.
He bought two bowling games for each of us. Then began his bragging about what a good bowler he is. I told him, "Then I will be an easy win because I seem to never get up to a 100 on my score." No kidding, I really am that bad at bowling but that could be because I am not a loser and I have more important things to do with my life? I'm just saying. Each time he finished bowling his set, he would sit down next to me and graze my ass. The first seven or eight times I thought it was an accident. But after that, I'm like, what the hell?
Not far into our second game he points to the woman in the bowling thing right next to us and he tells me, "Watch her bowl once." Okay, I am thinking he is going to give me some tips on bowling. I was very wrong. He was going to give me a tip on what a scum bag he is.
The woman went up, bowled, knocked down about seven pins and then came back and waited for her ball to return. He asked me, "Did you see that?" "What?" I asked. Then he said with a smile on his face, "How far she spreads her legs when she put the ball down the ally." I was mortified! The common sense in me was telling me to run but instead of listening to common sense, I tried to be funny and jokingly said, "You just like looking at her ass!" He was not shy at all; he responded with, "Actually, I was looking at her boobs when she bends over." What the fuck?! This guy is a total scum bag, worse, he is the infection that feeds off the mold that grows on a bag of scum.
I wanted to hurrying up this game and get the hell away from this creep. The second game continued, I kept my distance from him and after the game was completed I quickly changed my shoes and ran through the directions for him to go back to what ever hole in the ground he came from. "Wait." He said as he went back to the bar and asked for a pen and paper. "What are you doing?" I asked impatiently. "I want to see our average scores from our games. We played two games and I want to see our averages." Idiot! Who cares! I waited and he told me each of our averages. Then I headed for the door.
He ran over to his car and threw his bowling bag and matching bowling shoes in the car. Oh, did I tell you he drives a Camaro? Give me a break! This guy was like a living ghost of the 1980's. Then he came over by my van where I was unlocking my door. I thanked him for the bowling games and the drink. He grabbed my head like a goalie grabs a soccer ball to stop a winning goal attempt. My head was in a death grip. I instinctively pulled my head back and as I did, he licked my mouth (thankfully my mouth was closed). UGH! that is F**king DISGUSTING! I got in my car, told him the directions to take to get the hell away from me. Then I left. I am so glad I didn't give him my phone number!
I must correct myself, he is the secretion that is released from the bowels of the infection that feeds off the mold that grows on a bag of scum.
He showed up late because he got lost, there were two turns he had to make and only made one. Already the neon light flashed "idiot" on his forehead. Actually, let's start there. He looked like he stepped out of a 1980's commercial ad for Nerf. His hair was a spiky flat top with the sides shaved around his ears. He was wearing not only a 1980's style pullover with buttons on the neck but he also had a 1980's T-shirt on underneath that with colored sleeves and rock washed jeans (remember those?). Another thing, he was way too skinny. Don't let me forget to tell you that he showed up with his own bowling ball, bowling bag, and matching bowling shoes. Oh no, not another one! Damn it!
As we walked into the bowling alley where he wanted to meet, AC/DC was on the intercom. I like 80's music, that was the only thing good about the 1980's. We went up to the bar to have a drink and a baseball game was on the big screen. Yay for me. I can at least have something interesting to look at. lol It was the brewers and the Cardinals. Brewers were ahead bottom of the 3rd. Then he starts talking about bowling. He tells me the most uninteresting story about how and when he bought his bowling ball. I quickly tuned him out and tried to keep focus on the baseball game.
When there was finally a long break of silence from him, I asked, "Do you like baseball?" He replied with a blunt, "No." Ummm, okay. FREAK! Then at his feeble attempt to appear interested in the baseball game I was clearly more interested in, he asks, "So which teams are playing?" Since the names of the teams are literally written on the front of the uniforms, I thought it was a dumb question. I replied, "The Brewers and the Cardinals" In which he said, "I saw a cardinal on my way to work the other day."
What does that have to do with baseball? Then looking at the large screen television the game was on he asked, "What does STL mean?" I truly wanted to get up and walk out right then and there. I looked at him and doing my damnedest not to be insulting or a smart ass, I informed him, "STL stands for St. Louis. That is the city where the Cardinals are from." "Oh, I get." He said shaking his damn fool head up and down like one of those bobbing head dogs in the back window of an early 1990's Lincoln.
He kept scooting his bar stool over closer to mine so his leg would be touching mine. Each time he would move over, I would move over. His chair... scoot, scoot, scoot, then mine, scoot, scoot, scoot. He really didn't get the hint. By the time we fished our drink, there was a big space from where his bar stool started to where it ended up. Idiot!
With a streak of luck, my phone vibrates. Praise the Lord, I have a way out. It is my new straight-gay-guy-friend. I am thinking, this is my ticket out of here. I tried to text him back but no response. I was hoping he would give me a reason to quickly end the disaster date I was on. I told the loser I was with, "Gee, I hope everything is alright. I don't know if my friend needs me." I continued to wait for another text from him but I waited in vein. So the date from bowling hell continued.
He bought two bowling games for each of us. Then began his bragging about what a good bowler he is. I told him, "Then I will be an easy win because I seem to never get up to a 100 on my score." No kidding, I really am that bad at bowling but that could be because I am not a loser and I have more important things to do with my life? I'm just saying. Each time he finished bowling his set, he would sit down next to me and graze my ass. The first seven or eight times I thought it was an accident. But after that, I'm like, what the hell?
Not far into our second game he points to the woman in the bowling thing right next to us and he tells me, "Watch her bowl once." Okay, I am thinking he is going to give me some tips on bowling. I was very wrong. He was going to give me a tip on what a scum bag he is.
The woman went up, bowled, knocked down about seven pins and then came back and waited for her ball to return. He asked me, "Did you see that?" "What?" I asked. Then he said with a smile on his face, "How far she spreads her legs when she put the ball down the ally." I was mortified! The common sense in me was telling me to run but instead of listening to common sense, I tried to be funny and jokingly said, "You just like looking at her ass!" He was not shy at all; he responded with, "Actually, I was looking at her boobs when she bends over." What the fuck?! This guy is a total scum bag, worse, he is the infection that feeds off the mold that grows on a bag of scum.
I wanted to hurrying up this game and get the hell away from this creep. The second game continued, I kept my distance from him and after the game was completed I quickly changed my shoes and ran through the directions for him to go back to what ever hole in the ground he came from. "Wait." He said as he went back to the bar and asked for a pen and paper. "What are you doing?" I asked impatiently. "I want to see our average scores from our games. We played two games and I want to see our averages." Idiot! Who cares! I waited and he told me each of our averages. Then I headed for the door.
He ran over to his car and threw his bowling bag and matching bowling shoes in the car. Oh, did I tell you he drives a Camaro? Give me a break! This guy was like a living ghost of the 1980's. Then he came over by my van where I was unlocking my door. I thanked him for the bowling games and the drink. He grabbed my head like a goalie grabs a soccer ball to stop a winning goal attempt. My head was in a death grip. I instinctively pulled my head back and as I did, he licked my mouth (thankfully my mouth was closed). UGH! that is F**king DISGUSTING! I got in my car, told him the directions to take to get the hell away from me. Then I left. I am so glad I didn't give him my phone number!
I must correct myself, he is the secretion that is released from the bowels of the infection that feeds off the mold that grows on a bag of scum.
What I am and am not looking for
You know, I just want to have a great date with some potential. Sure, I have had a couple of good dates but they usually do something to F**ck it up. I want to meet a man, see that we get along, that we have the same priorities and goals, and that we are happily compatible, fall in love, and live happily ever after or close to happily ever after. Why can I not find that man?
Can you believe a friend of mine actually said, "Carrie, just lower your standards and you'll find someone." Let me be very clear about this, the objective is not to be with someone just to "be with someone". This isn't high school anymore and I don't have time to play games. I have already been through two failed marriages and lost my only child. I don't have the will power to stand by and let someone use me as a door mat just so I can "be with someone". I prefer to be alone if that is the case. And to lower my standards, are my standards and expectations all really that high?
My "standards or expectations"
Loves God
Honesty
Gives and is worthy of respect
Is compassionate and caring
Has a job and is responsible
Treats me good
Won't cheat on me
Volunteers and is involved in helping others
And yes, I would like him to have a healthy sex drive too.
Is all of this really too much to ask? There has to be some physical attraction there too. I don't want to keep a bag over his head the whole time either. And I am sure he would feel the same way about me.
In my perspective, most of these things are traits people need to have to be a decent human being. So I don't think my standards are rally all that high. I am just asking for someone like me who is an upstanding person. I am not saying perfect because the world knows I am not perfect but my morals are pretty high.
As for what I am not looking for? Well, I sure you have read enough bad dates to easily see what I am NOT looking for. I am finding an awful lot of what I am not looking for.
Can you believe a friend of mine actually said, "Carrie, just lower your standards and you'll find someone." Let me be very clear about this, the objective is not to be with someone just to "be with someone". This isn't high school anymore and I don't have time to play games. I have already been through two failed marriages and lost my only child. I don't have the will power to stand by and let someone use me as a door mat just so I can "be with someone". I prefer to be alone if that is the case. And to lower my standards, are my standards and expectations all really that high?
My "standards or expectations"
Loves God
Honesty
Gives and is worthy of respect
Is compassionate and caring
Has a job and is responsible
Treats me good
Won't cheat on me
Volunteers and is involved in helping others
And yes, I would like him to have a healthy sex drive too.
Is all of this really too much to ask? There has to be some physical attraction there too. I don't want to keep a bag over his head the whole time either. And I am sure he would feel the same way about me.
In my perspective, most of these things are traits people need to have to be a decent human being. So I don't think my standards are rally all that high. I am just asking for someone like me who is an upstanding person. I am not saying perfect because the world knows I am not perfect but my morals are pretty high.
As for what I am not looking for? Well, I sure you have read enough bad dates to easily see what I am NOT looking for. I am finding an awful lot of what I am not looking for.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Lonliness comes in a tall package
When I arrived at the restaurant, he already had a table for us. He was sipping a cool margarita and was waiting with a long stem American beauty rose by his side.
A rose, that is a nice touch. I haven't received flowers in so long, I forgot what they smelled like. He stood up to great me. He had a tall self-conscious physique, broad shoulders, beautiful eyes, and a handsome smile.
He was so nervous his hands shook a little when gestured as he spoke in a quiet timid voice. Even though he had had almost 15 minutes looking at the menu he still didn't know what to order and just ordered the same as I did.
The man was very gentle and shy, being a widower, he was looking for someone to marry and continue on with his life. He talked very kindly of his late wife. I could tell he loved her very much. I can see he is a kind loving person and is looking for completion in his life. I am looking for that too, completion. Many arrogant and stupid people go about their lives thinking that relationships and marriage are about "wanting" and not "needing" but truly, it is seeking completion. God did not create us for us to be alone, The Bible is very clear on that. If the person you are with doesn't complete you, you are probably with the wrong person.
My heart goes out to this guy. From where I am sitting, he is a great guy but he has his life settled here in Wisconsin and the fist chance I get, I am out of here.
After dinner we saw a movie, he is nice, shy, and very kind. He kept asking me if I was comfortable and if he talked too much, etc. He was trying so hard to be a perfect date. Lord, please bless this man with the second woman you created for him.
A rose, that is a nice touch. I haven't received flowers in so long, I forgot what they smelled like. He stood up to great me. He had a tall self-conscious physique, broad shoulders, beautiful eyes, and a handsome smile.
He was so nervous his hands shook a little when gestured as he spoke in a quiet timid voice. Even though he had had almost 15 minutes looking at the menu he still didn't know what to order and just ordered the same as I did.
The man was very gentle and shy, being a widower, he was looking for someone to marry and continue on with his life. He talked very kindly of his late wife. I could tell he loved her very much. I can see he is a kind loving person and is looking for completion in his life. I am looking for that too, completion. Many arrogant and stupid people go about their lives thinking that relationships and marriage are about "wanting" and not "needing" but truly, it is seeking completion. God did not create us for us to be alone, The Bible is very clear on that. If the person you are with doesn't complete you, you are probably with the wrong person.
My heart goes out to this guy. From where I am sitting, he is a great guy but he has his life settled here in Wisconsin and the fist chance I get, I am out of here.
After dinner we saw a movie, he is nice, shy, and very kind. He kept asking me if I was comfortable and if he talked too much, etc. He was trying so hard to be a perfect date. Lord, please bless this man with the second woman you created for him.
Running a marathon alone
I was very much taken off guard by what he was saying in the email. He seriously needs to Sssllloooooowwwwwwwwww doooowwwwnn.
He called me later in the evening and we talked a little bit in the phone. I informed him that I wear hearing aids and I have a hard time hearing him on the phone so he spoke up that I might hear him better.
I understand that he is lonely because he is a widower and I genuinely feel sympathy for him. He just seems to be trying so hard and rushing things so fast. I mean, I haven't even met the guy yet in person. We have only talked on the phone twice and he thinks he is already developing feelings for me. It is a little intimidating and a little disturbing if I do say so myself.
We have a date set up for tomorrow and I will make it very clear to him that he is rushing things. I told him a number of times on the phone that he needs to settle down that he doesn't even know me. If this guy isn't careful, and gets mixed up with a bad woman, he could be taken advantage of terribly. Poor thing. Hey, I have a soft heart for helpless animals.
He called me later in the evening and we talked a little bit in the phone. I informed him that I wear hearing aids and I have a hard time hearing him on the phone so he spoke up that I might hear him better.
I understand that he is lonely because he is a widower and I genuinely feel sympathy for him. He just seems to be trying so hard and rushing things so fast. I mean, I haven't even met the guy yet in person. We have only talked on the phone twice and he thinks he is already developing feelings for me. It is a little intimidating and a little disturbing if I do say so myself.
We have a date set up for tomorrow and I will make it very clear to him that he is rushing things. I told him a number of times on the phone that he needs to settle down that he doesn't even know me. If this guy isn't careful, and gets mixed up with a bad woman, he could be taken advantage of terribly. Poor thing. Hey, I have a soft heart for helpless animals.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Quiet phone date
A man that has been trying to get contact me through a dating site online but honestly, these days I am just so busy. I felt bad and wanted to send him an email that I was not ignoring him but was just busy. Since I am new to this website, I sent a VIP email to him to say I didn't forget and wasn't ignoring him that I would contact him later in the week. I thought, that V.I.P. meant very important but apparently on this site it means, "Very Interested Person" Oops!
I saw that he was online so I called the number he sent me in an email. His voice was very quiet on the phone. Fortunately he talked a lot so I didn't have to. I think he was mostly walking about himself, his family, what he was interested in, etc. It was difficult for me to understand. It was a little late in the evening also so I had an good reason to get off the phone. He seem nice though, polite, plus, he is tall and bald just how I like them!
The email he sent me the next day ***
I saw that he was online so I called the number he sent me in an email. His voice was very quiet on the phone. Fortunately he talked a lot so I didn't have to. I think he was mostly walking about himself, his family, what he was interested in, etc. It was difficult for me to understand. It was a little late in the evening also so I had an good reason to get off the phone. He seem nice though, polite, plus, he is tall and bald just how I like them!
The email he sent me the next day ***
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Stu-st-st--stu-stu-stutter
Another online match disaster. This one, we chatted a few times online and agreed to meet up for a non-alcoholic beverage. He called me for directions but I couldn't hear him because his phone kept cutting out. I said, "Your phone keeps cutting out, i can't understand you. Can you hear me?" "Yeah..." he responded. I said, "Okay, if you can hear me clearly, I will just give you the directions and we can meet there."
I gave him the directions and we meet at the pub. When we saw each other we greeted each other with a handshake and said hello then found a table. When he began talking, I was shocked, it wasn't his cell phone that kept cutting out, he has a stutter! Holy shit! How am I supposed to understand this guy??? He never told me he had a stutter. What's worse, I don't think he realizes he has a stutter. He never made any comment about it. As a Deaf and hard-of-hearing (HOH) person, I do depend a lot on lip reading. It was impossible to lip read this guys st-st-st-stutter. He was cute but just difficult to understand him, the communication level was not even in the door. He was cute and nice to look at but if he could just stop talking! Texting he was a normal person but in real person at real time, not so much. This was a case where technology truly helps this guy. I felt so bad, I even paid for the drinks. Now you know that is pity. lol
After the date he texted me, "You should send me picture to my phone I think your pretty." I think he is kind of a freak. I could have done without that. Who wants photos of people they just met on their phone?
The next day he text me and said, "What did you think of me?" Yeah, that's what he said. No "Hi, Hello, or How are you?" He was very direct and wanted an answer to his self directed and individually focused question. So I told him straight, "I think you are nice & very cute. It is difficult 4 me 2 understand you though because my hearing." I didn't want him to feel bad so I just put it on me.
He responded, "That's ok. Its hard for you to understand people?" As if it was all me! I wanted to be Frank and tell him that has big damn stutter and that has a lot to do with it. But Since I am better at being me, at being Carrie and not Frank, instead of stating what was obvious to everyone except to him, Mr. swimming in the deNile river, I simply said, "Yes, it is because I am Deaf and HOH. I read lips." Then he continues, "It must be really hard for you." I answered, "Sometimes."
He text me me back, "I think you're very nice and very pretty. It as nice to give you a hug."
I gave him the directions and we meet at the pub. When we saw each other we greeted each other with a handshake and said hello then found a table. When he began talking, I was shocked, it wasn't his cell phone that kept cutting out, he has a stutter! Holy shit! How am I supposed to understand this guy??? He never told me he had a stutter. What's worse, I don't think he realizes he has a stutter. He never made any comment about it. As a Deaf and hard-of-hearing (HOH) person, I do depend a lot on lip reading. It was impossible to lip read this guys st-st-st-stutter. He was cute but just difficult to understand him, the communication level was not even in the door. He was cute and nice to look at but if he could just stop talking! Texting he was a normal person but in real person at real time, not so much. This was a case where technology truly helps this guy. I felt so bad, I even paid for the drinks. Now you know that is pity. lol
After the date he texted me, "You should send me picture to my phone I think your pretty." I think he is kind of a freak. I could have done without that. Who wants photos of people they just met on their phone?
The next day he text me and said, "What did you think of me?" Yeah, that's what he said. No "Hi, Hello, or How are you?" He was very direct and wanted an answer to his self directed and individually focused question. So I told him straight, "I think you are nice & very cute. It is difficult 4 me 2 understand you though because my hearing." I didn't want him to feel bad so I just put it on me.
He responded, "That's ok. Its hard for you to understand people?" As if it was all me! I wanted to be Frank and tell him that has big damn stutter and that has a lot to do with it. But Since I am better at being me, at being Carrie and not Frank, instead of stating what was obvious to everyone except to him, Mr. swimming in the deNile river, I simply said, "Yes, it is because I am Deaf and HOH. I read lips." Then he continues, "It must be really hard for you." I answered, "Sometimes."
He text me me back, "I think you're very nice and very pretty. It as nice to give you a hug."
My new straight "gay-guy" friend
Remember I wrote about this guy that is super nice but we're not relationshipable? Yeah, I just invented that word. lol We have become friends and hanging out sometimes. Yeah, I know I am playing with fire here because I know he likes me but he is a nice friend too.
It has been made VERY clear that we're not relationshipable but we can be friends. So I actually feel more comfortable because he knows that the line stays at friendship. It is like have a that gay best friend almost every woman needs except this guy is straight. lol
We went to dinner and a movie. I know I eat slow but he eats so fast. Since it is so obvious, we talk about it sometimes. On our recent date...uh... get together...hang out...together. Okay, that's weird, what do I call it now??? Anyway, this time when he finished way before me, he waited for me to finish and didn't make me feel rushed.
We went to a movie and just had a nice time together. I like hanging out with him because he is so nice and likes doing fun things. He is pretty shy though, I am hoping I can get him out of that, he is beginning to open up and talk more. He is really funny. I almost feel selfish about keeping him to myself. I truly hope that he finds a great woman in his life because he is really a great guy but important factor for each of us don't match up. He has great eyes too. *smile* I am glad we can be friends. At least I have found a friend in this monster filled sewer of dates.
It has been made VERY clear that we're not relationshipable but we can be friends. So I actually feel more comfortable because he knows that the line stays at friendship. It is like have a that gay best friend almost every woman needs except this guy is straight. lol
We went to dinner and a movie. I know I eat slow but he eats so fast. Since it is so obvious, we talk about it sometimes. On our recent date...uh... get together...hang out...together. Okay, that's weird, what do I call it now??? Anyway, this time when he finished way before me, he waited for me to finish and didn't make me feel rushed.
We went to a movie and just had a nice time together. I like hanging out with him because he is so nice and likes doing fun things. He is pretty shy though, I am hoping I can get him out of that, he is beginning to open up and talk more. He is really funny. I almost feel selfish about keeping him to myself. I truly hope that he finds a great woman in his life because he is really a great guy but important factor for each of us don't match up. He has great eyes too. *smile* I am glad we can be friends. At least I have found a friend in this monster filled sewer of dates.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Finally dinner
After two coffee and tea dates the infamous Pumpkin-head and I set up a dinner date. As I walked into the restaurant I received a text from him saying that he was running late and would be arriving in about 20 minutes. I told him, "No worries, I will wait for you." Then I asked him, "Do you want me to start a tab for you? You want to buy everyone a round of drinks right?!" He text me back, "Definitely"
I don't know what it is about this guy, if you have any advise, please write in to me because I think I need some good advise about this. He seems so mysterious. As I always call him elusive. We discussed that over dinner too. But there is something about this guy that has me wondering. Any other guy that has or would have been as elusive like this one, I would have cut him loose right away but its like he has me under this charm spell. I don't know what it is. But I just have this gut feeling that he is hiding something.
He arrives at the restaurant in his suit and tie from work and he looks just as dashing as always. We found a table and to my streak of bad luck it was right under the speaker so we moved to another table that wasn't in stereo. I gave him the solar powered key chain that I got for him while I was on vacation. He laughed and said, "Thanks for getting me a solar powered key chain; now I don't have to plug my keys in at night." We laughed and then placed our order. Much to my surprise, he eats slower than I do and he didn't even touch his sandwich. He was so busy chatting and talking. I don't really remember much of the conversation though.
Suddenly a man appeared at our table and gave his greetings to my date. It was a man from his work. He didn't introduce me to him. The man just said hello and informed the guy I was with that a group of the men from work were at the bar there at the restaurant. My date told him that he would stop over before he left the restaurant.
After we finished out early dinner we went to the hostess station at the bar for him to pay the tab and he also talked to his friends from work. I just stepped back, I didn't want to intrude with their conversation.
We walked out to the parking lot, I was parked further at the end of the lot and he was closer to the door. He walked me to my car, I said thanks and he gave me a really long hug, he didn't want to let go. I was thinking, "Mmm...he is going to kiss me." But he didn't. He just said how nice it was to see me and he looked forward to the next time we would get together. Then he said good-bye and walked away. I was a little disappointed that I didn't get that kiss I was hoping for. I began driving through the parking lot and also saw him driving thought the parking lot and thought to myself, "I am going to get that kiss." I stopped my car, walked over to him and he stopped his car. He opened the door and said, "That was weired. What's up?" Without saying a word, I leaned in and gave him a kiss. The softly said, "Thank you." and I walked back to my car, never looking back at him. Then I left.
I don't know what it is about this guy, if you have any advise, please write in to me because I think I need some good advise about this. He seems so mysterious. As I always call him elusive. We discussed that over dinner too. But there is something about this guy that has me wondering. Any other guy that has or would have been as elusive like this one, I would have cut him loose right away but its like he has me under this charm spell. I don't know what it is. But I just have this gut feeling that he is hiding something.
He arrives at the restaurant in his suit and tie from work and he looks just as dashing as always. We found a table and to my streak of bad luck it was right under the speaker so we moved to another table that wasn't in stereo. I gave him the solar powered key chain that I got for him while I was on vacation. He laughed and said, "Thanks for getting me a solar powered key chain; now I don't have to plug my keys in at night." We laughed and then placed our order. Much to my surprise, he eats slower than I do and he didn't even touch his sandwich. He was so busy chatting and talking. I don't really remember much of the conversation though.
Suddenly a man appeared at our table and gave his greetings to my date. It was a man from his work. He didn't introduce me to him. The man just said hello and informed the guy I was with that a group of the men from work were at the bar there at the restaurant. My date told him that he would stop over before he left the restaurant.
After we finished out early dinner we went to the hostess station at the bar for him to pay the tab and he also talked to his friends from work. I just stepped back, I didn't want to intrude with their conversation.
We walked out to the parking lot, I was parked further at the end of the lot and he was closer to the door. He walked me to my car, I said thanks and he gave me a really long hug, he didn't want to let go. I was thinking, "Mmm...he is going to kiss me." But he didn't. He just said how nice it was to see me and he looked forward to the next time we would get together. Then he said good-bye and walked away. I was a little disappointed that I didn't get that kiss I was hoping for. I began driving through the parking lot and also saw him driving thought the parking lot and thought to myself, "I am going to get that kiss." I stopped my car, walked over to him and he stopped his car. He opened the door and said, "That was weired. What's up?" Without saying a word, I leaned in and gave him a kiss. The softly said, "Thank you." and I walked back to my car, never looking back at him. Then I left.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
A fishy surprise
Museums are a great past time for me which I thoroughly enjoy. I am a self proclaimed "museum junky" I like museums of all kinds. My love for museums is no secret and it is also on my dating profile. There are a million things that could be worse. Well, I was about to find out how a love for museums could back fire.
A date with a person that I have known through another person. I had met them a number of times through our common friend so I was able to trust this person's intent. So when he asked me out on a date, I accepted. He said that he wanted to go on a date that would not be "typical" but something I would enjoy. But, it was a surprise. Okay, I'm game. I enjoy taking new adventures and seeing something interesting.
He picked me up and told me to be prepared that it was a bit of a drive. "You are going to bring me home right?" I jokingly asked but was looking for the correct answer. He looked at me and said, "Yes, of course I am going to bring you home. I'm not going to leave you there." I smiled and said, "Just checking."
Later we stopped for a bite to eat, he was right, it was a long drive. So I knew he must be excited to take me to this place that he was "sure I would like". He was willing to take just about an entire day making plans and driving me all the way. I teased and asked him where he was taking me. Begging for little clues was finally beginning to break him down. The clues he gave me were, "Some place I probably hadn't gone to before", "A unique and interesting place", "A tourist attraction where people come from all over to see" I was beginning to get excited. "Come on, just tell me where it is." I protested with a smile on my face. He told me, "Last clue, I am taking you to a museum." Whoo hoo! I love museums. I was excited and satisfied with the last clue that we were going to a museum. I didn't need anymore clues, that was enough for me. If we were going to a museum, one, I probably have already been there and two, I would like to see a museum that I hadn't been to before. I sat quietly with a smile the rest of the trip. I enjoyed the scenery on the beautiful drive. Having been told that we were going to a museum, I was satisfied and didn't ask anymore questions.
What a surprise! And not a good one either. We got to the museum alright, The Museum and Fishing Hall of Fame. What the hell? A fishing museum?????? Come on. Is this a joke? Are there hidden cameras every where?! I'm on Candid Camera right?! Am I being punked? No? Are you sure? I'm not being set up on a practical joke? This is really the museum he thought I would like? :( I've been tricked! A fishing museum?! I want a new date, can I chose what's behind door number three instead? Awwww...man! Now I have to pretend to enjoy this so he doesn't feel bad.
Oh look, there is a big fish, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another. How have I survived my entire life without having been here to the Fishing Hall of Fame? I guess now I have truly lived. (Not) Haven't I mentioned before that I hate fishing? I thought I did. Mmmmm....
There is even a big fish you can walk into. Well, this is a first! I have never in my whole life ever walked into the anus of a fish. You walk in its anus and you can stand inside of its mouth. Wait, it gets better. To leave, you go in the other direction. That's right! You walk through its mouth, down its throat and out its anus. Yes ladies and gentlemen, a real way to impress a woman on a date is to make her feel as though she has been pooped out by a giant fish! Now I know how my fish sandwich feels. It gives me a whole new perspective on Friday fish fry.
"So, what did you think?" he innocently asked me. I gave him a big smile and said, "No one has ever taken me to a fishing museum before. This is interesting."
I didn't lie. But he was so excited, I just couldn't break his heart. Plus, it was a long walk home.
Men: sometimes it's cute how dumb they are. Just like little puppies. They are so cute but they keep trying to hump your leg. Let's not even begin to discuss the whining they do. That they don't seem to grow out of that.
A date with a person that I have known through another person. I had met them a number of times through our common friend so I was able to trust this person's intent. So when he asked me out on a date, I accepted. He said that he wanted to go on a date that would not be "typical" but something I would enjoy. But, it was a surprise. Okay, I'm game. I enjoy taking new adventures and seeing something interesting.
He picked me up and told me to be prepared that it was a bit of a drive. "You are going to bring me home right?" I jokingly asked but was looking for the correct answer. He looked at me and said, "Yes, of course I am going to bring you home. I'm not going to leave you there." I smiled and said, "Just checking."
Later we stopped for a bite to eat, he was right, it was a long drive. So I knew he must be excited to take me to this place that he was "sure I would like". He was willing to take just about an entire day making plans and driving me all the way. I teased and asked him where he was taking me. Begging for little clues was finally beginning to break him down. The clues he gave me were, "Some place I probably hadn't gone to before", "A unique and interesting place", "A tourist attraction where people come from all over to see" I was beginning to get excited. "Come on, just tell me where it is." I protested with a smile on my face. He told me, "Last clue, I am taking you to a museum." Whoo hoo! I love museums. I was excited and satisfied with the last clue that we were going to a museum. I didn't need anymore clues, that was enough for me. If we were going to a museum, one, I probably have already been there and two, I would like to see a museum that I hadn't been to before. I sat quietly with a smile the rest of the trip. I enjoyed the scenery on the beautiful drive. Having been told that we were going to a museum, I was satisfied and didn't ask anymore questions.
What a surprise! And not a good one either. We got to the museum alright, The Museum and Fishing Hall of Fame. What the hell? A fishing museum?????? Come on. Is this a joke? Are there hidden cameras every where?! I'm on Candid Camera right?! Am I being punked? No? Are you sure? I'm not being set up on a practical joke? This is really the museum he thought I would like? :( I've been tricked! A fishing museum?! I want a new date, can I chose what's behind door number three instead? Awwww...man! Now I have to pretend to enjoy this so he doesn't feel bad.
Oh look, there is a big fish, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another. How have I survived my entire life without having been here to the Fishing Hall of Fame? I guess now I have truly lived. (Not) Haven't I mentioned before that I hate fishing? I thought I did. Mmmmm....
There is even a big fish you can walk into. Well, this is a first! I have never in my whole life ever walked into the anus of a fish. You walk in its anus and you can stand inside of its mouth. Wait, it gets better. To leave, you go in the other direction. That's right! You walk through its mouth, down its throat and out its anus. Yes ladies and gentlemen, a real way to impress a woman on a date is to make her feel as though she has been pooped out by a giant fish! Now I know how my fish sandwich feels. It gives me a whole new perspective on Friday fish fry.
"So, what did you think?" he innocently asked me. I gave him a big smile and said, "No one has ever taken me to a fishing museum before. This is interesting."
I didn't lie. But he was so excited, I just couldn't break his heart. Plus, it was a long walk home.
Men: sometimes it's cute how dumb they are. Just like little puppies. They are so cute but they keep trying to hump your leg. Let's not even begin to discuss the whining they do. That they don't seem to grow out of that.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Bowling boy
Okay, I did something I didn't want to do but I felt there was no choice. I went on a second date with bowling pin-head. There was no way around it, at least that is what I have been telling myself. He keeps sending me daily emails, bowling updates/scores, and inviting me to watch him bowl. Why would I ever want to do that? I thought the only way to get him to stop would be to go on another date with him and try to clarify that I do not have any interest in bowling. That was more of a challenge than I thought it would be. Some times, I am just too damn nice.
We met at a restaurant for a late lunch. He was so excited to tell me about his trip to Las Vegas for the big bowling tournament. I was so excited I could just spit. So while he told me about the trip and mostly what a debacle it actually turned out to be, without missing a beat was back on the conversation of his bowling schedule.
Lord help me to be patient even when the topic of bowling is constantly in the room.
His bowling schedule, the bowling schedule for his kids, (they also bowl) and he even told me the bowling schedule of his "soon to be ex-wife". WHY? "So everyone bowls?" I asked him. An obvious question hoping to bring it into perspective for him. He didn't find it odd at all, not even the tiniest bit unusual. FREAK! He still refers to himself with his "soon to be ex-wife" as "we". Okay, whatever, I can understand that is difficult habit to break. I even catch myself doing the same thing from time to time.
He told me that they (him and his wife) went furniture shopping together. That's kind of weird. He said that he was considering getting his own bed. So, that clearly means, he is not even separated from his "soon to be ex-wife". They are still together. So why is he trying to date other women? Some people are just so damn afraid to be alone for even a minute. I asked for a to-go box for the rest of my meal and told him I needed to get going. I knew he was pathetic from the very moment he expressed his life's ambition of bowling but I don't want to encourage his behavior. I prefer to leave him in the bowling alley, or any alley for that matter.
We met at a restaurant for a late lunch. He was so excited to tell me about his trip to Las Vegas for the big bowling tournament. I was so excited I could just spit. So while he told me about the trip and mostly what a debacle it actually turned out to be, without missing a beat was back on the conversation of his bowling schedule.
Lord help me to be patient even when the topic of bowling is constantly in the room.
His bowling schedule, the bowling schedule for his kids, (they also bowl) and he even told me the bowling schedule of his "soon to be ex-wife". WHY? "So everyone bowls?" I asked him. An obvious question hoping to bring it into perspective for him. He didn't find it odd at all, not even the tiniest bit unusual. FREAK! He still refers to himself with his "soon to be ex-wife" as "we". Okay, whatever, I can understand that is difficult habit to break. I even catch myself doing the same thing from time to time.
He told me that they (him and his wife) went furniture shopping together. That's kind of weird. He said that he was considering getting his own bed. So, that clearly means, he is not even separated from his "soon to be ex-wife". They are still together. So why is he trying to date other women? Some people are just so damn afraid to be alone for even a minute. I asked for a to-go box for the rest of my meal and told him I needed to get going. I knew he was pathetic from the very moment he expressed his life's ambition of bowling but I don't want to encourage his behavior. I prefer to leave him in the bowling alley, or any alley for that matter.
Lip reading speech problems
I went on a lunch date with a guy who has a speech impediment. I do wear hearing aids but I still rely heavily on lip reading. Trying to lip read a person with a lisp or speech impediment is probably more difficult than lip reading a person from the south with the ever so popular southern drawl. He sat across the table from me his tongue stayed at the roof of his mouth after each word or it was pressed to his teeth, making it difficult to see where words began and ended. I hate to nit pick but the ability to understand each other is vital.
After a while it became a little nerve racking so I was happy when our meals arrived at our table then he could stop talking and eat. It would be great if everyone knew sign language. lol
Communication is just too difficult with this guy. I won't even have to worry about his height. Yeah, he is about five inches shorter than me. I like tall men but ones that much shorter than me, that is just weird!
After a while it became a little nerve racking so I was happy when our meals arrived at our table then he could stop talking and eat. It would be great if everyone knew sign language. lol
Communication is just too difficult with this guy. I won't even have to worry about his height. Yeah, he is about five inches shorter than me. I like tall men but ones that much shorter than me, that is just weird!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Things that should have been left behind
Dating sucks as any of you who read and follow this blog already know. I still haven't found the love of my life, the new man I would like to marry or even at the very least, I haven't even found my next ex-husband yet. lol But no one is so rich as to throw away a friend. Or so I read in the movies.
Through this, I have met someone who is getting close to that friend category. We just hang out sometimes but I can see perhaps a friendship beginning. After I returned from my trip during spring break, he took me out to dinner and we talked a bit more. It is still in the uncomfortable stage of the beginning. You know beginnings are always scary and endings are usually sad but its the part in the middle that counts.
Beginnings in new relationships whether it be a working relationship, a friend relationship, or a romantic relationship, the beginning is normally awkward because you are still learning a lot about each other. We all live on this big living breathing rock and we can't expand anymore so we have got to learn to seek what it truth and righteous only by that will we be able to come together. Until then, we are all just walking around bumping into cold emotional walls or hormonal lakes of sinking sand. It would be wise if we knew which of the two we were walking into before it was too late and we were already suffering the consequences of our blindness.
So now I had to go into the "I only like you as a friend" speech which is always uncomfortable; I think for everyone. But at least it is not the dreaded and pathological, "It's not you, it's me speech." How pathetic is that one? I must say it is hands down the most irrational and deranged oxymoron result with the least bit of tact that our modern society spew upon the dating culture. Yes, it is post-modern culture now, I am up with the times but even so, the hauntings of the recent past still loom if not only in our minds but in our television screens as well which by the way, our Y2K generation thinks it is totally original. Apparently no one has yet ventured or gotten around to telling them that they are just putting on the product of the bowels of the 1980's.
We couldn't wait for the 1980's to be over so we could party like it is 1999. Now it is 2010 and we still want to party like it's 1999. When they brought back the sequence T-shirts and the leg-warmers, let's all be thankful the stone washed jeans weren't right behind them. No matter how I denied it, I knew I was getting old when I heard Bruce Springsteen a.k.a. The Boss, being played on the oldies radio channel. Somethings just shouldn't be done and that is one of them. At least Billy Idol hasn't ever aged, he looks the very same now as he did 30 years ago. Thank you Billy Idol for giving us all hope.
Through this, I have met someone who is getting close to that friend category. We just hang out sometimes but I can see perhaps a friendship beginning. After I returned from my trip during spring break, he took me out to dinner and we talked a bit more. It is still in the uncomfortable stage of the beginning. You know beginnings are always scary and endings are usually sad but its the part in the middle that counts.
Beginnings in new relationships whether it be a working relationship, a friend relationship, or a romantic relationship, the beginning is normally awkward because you are still learning a lot about each other. We all live on this big living breathing rock and we can't expand anymore so we have got to learn to seek what it truth and righteous only by that will we be able to come together. Until then, we are all just walking around bumping into cold emotional walls or hormonal lakes of sinking sand. It would be wise if we knew which of the two we were walking into before it was too late and we were already suffering the consequences of our blindness.
So now I had to go into the "I only like you as a friend" speech which is always uncomfortable; I think for everyone. But at least it is not the dreaded and pathological, "It's not you, it's me speech." How pathetic is that one? I must say it is hands down the most irrational and deranged oxymoron result with the least bit of tact that our modern society spew upon the dating culture. Yes, it is post-modern culture now, I am up with the times but even so, the hauntings of the recent past still loom if not only in our minds but in our television screens as well which by the way, our Y2K generation thinks it is totally original. Apparently no one has yet ventured or gotten around to telling them that they are just putting on the product of the bowels of the 1980's.
We couldn't wait for the 1980's to be over so we could party like it is 1999. Now it is 2010 and we still want to party like it's 1999. When they brought back the sequence T-shirts and the leg-warmers, let's all be thankful the stone washed jeans weren't right behind them. No matter how I denied it, I knew I was getting old when I heard Bruce Springsteen a.k.a. The Boss, being played on the oldies radio channel. Somethings just shouldn't be done and that is one of them. At least Billy Idol hasn't ever aged, he looks the very same now as he did 30 years ago. Thank you Billy Idol for giving us all hope.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Bowling call with a spider
On the phone with the bowling pin-head getting the updates on his bowling scores and life in the bowling fast-lane. What is going on in the bowling world you ask? I don't know but if I gave a shit, I would definitely give it to this guy.
As I was talking on the phone, I looked up at the ceiling and low and be hold, a frickin' spider was sitting in the corner about five feet from me. I think it saw me looking at it too because it looked right at me. Damn it! I am thinking to myself, "RUN!" But I was on the phone with bowling guy. I had to have a phone date with him because he has been sending me so many emails. A sane woman can only handle so many emails of bowling up-dates, in fact, they were starting to make me insane. :p
I said to bowling boy, "Oh my gosh! There is a spider right on the wall!!!! I hate spiders!" Then you know as soon as I mentioned out loud the spider's presence was no longer a secret, that little bastard started running. That thing was running so fast like it was running on eight legs or something. I screamed, dropped the phone. Picked it up, jumped back, told bowling boy to hold on. I put the phone down and got a shoe. Not one of my high heels either, I learned from the last time. I went into the hallway outside of my apartment and got the biggest shoe I could find. I didn't care who's it was either. I came back and what do you know, it was hiding. Great! Now I am looking all over for it.
I picked up the phone and gave him the update of the imposing spider. Then my hair must have moved a little bit; I felt something tickle on my hand that I was using to hold the phone. I jumped, let out a little panicked scream, threw the phone down and neurotically brushed off my hands and arms, shook out my shirt, and tousled my hair with my head upside down to make sure the spider was not on me. Then I saw it on the wall. Okay so maybe I panicked just a little bit but you didn't see that spider!
I picked up the worn out shoe. I was apprehensive but determined. The spider was still for a moment but my mind was racing and the shoe was getting heavy. I was worried about my aim. I was now standing only two feet from the spotted speed demon. It was so arrogant, it took off. I jumped into action, I jumped back and stared talking to my self, "I can do this, I can do this." Now it was running down the wall so close I could SMACK it. Here goes, SMACK! Oh crap, I missed it and now it's gone. Ugh, why does this always happen to me??? Oh my gosh, it was hanging from the shoe by its web. I screamed again, hit it against the wall and it fell to the floor. It was still moving but not much, it was defiantly still alive but wounded, or so it wanted me to think. It probably was going to wait until I got close then jump up and say. "Gotcha!" I didn't give it the chance, I reached down and with all my might, I smashed that spider into the middle of next week! Then I returned the big over sized shoe to the hallway with the spider still attached. Wasn't my shoe! I certainly wasn't going to have a funeral for the spider.
I came back into my apartment and there on the desk was the phone. Ooops! I guess I forgot about that one little ever so tiny detail. I picked up the phone and brought it to my ear where I could hear tears of laughter. He was laughing so hard. I said with a coy voice, "I got it." He just continued to laugh as he asked, "All of that for a spider?!" I still had goose bumps from the whole ordeal. He had tears in his eyes he was laughing so hard. I definitely need to date someone who is better at handling situations like these. Any single exterminators out there?
As I was talking on the phone, I looked up at the ceiling and low and be hold, a frickin' spider was sitting in the corner about five feet from me. I think it saw me looking at it too because it looked right at me. Damn it! I am thinking to myself, "RUN!" But I was on the phone with bowling guy. I had to have a phone date with him because he has been sending me so many emails. A sane woman can only handle so many emails of bowling up-dates, in fact, they were starting to make me insane. :p
I said to bowling boy, "Oh my gosh! There is a spider right on the wall!!!! I hate spiders!" Then you know as soon as I mentioned out loud the spider's presence was no longer a secret, that little bastard started running. That thing was running so fast like it was running on eight legs or something. I screamed, dropped the phone. Picked it up, jumped back, told bowling boy to hold on. I put the phone down and got a shoe. Not one of my high heels either, I learned from the last time. I went into the hallway outside of my apartment and got the biggest shoe I could find. I didn't care who's it was either. I came back and what do you know, it was hiding. Great! Now I am looking all over for it.
I picked up the phone and gave him the update of the imposing spider. Then my hair must have moved a little bit; I felt something tickle on my hand that I was using to hold the phone. I jumped, let out a little panicked scream, threw the phone down and neurotically brushed off my hands and arms, shook out my shirt, and tousled my hair with my head upside down to make sure the spider was not on me. Then I saw it on the wall. Okay so maybe I panicked just a little bit but you didn't see that spider!
I picked up the worn out shoe. I was apprehensive but determined. The spider was still for a moment but my mind was racing and the shoe was getting heavy. I was worried about my aim. I was now standing only two feet from the spotted speed demon. It was so arrogant, it took off. I jumped into action, I jumped back and stared talking to my self, "I can do this, I can do this." Now it was running down the wall so close I could SMACK it. Here goes, SMACK! Oh crap, I missed it and now it's gone. Ugh, why does this always happen to me??? Oh my gosh, it was hanging from the shoe by its web. I screamed again, hit it against the wall and it fell to the floor. It was still moving but not much, it was defiantly still alive but wounded, or so it wanted me to think. It probably was going to wait until I got close then jump up and say. "Gotcha!" I didn't give it the chance, I reached down and with all my might, I smashed that spider into the middle of next week! Then I returned the big over sized shoe to the hallway with the spider still attached. Wasn't my shoe! I certainly wasn't going to have a funeral for the spider.
I came back into my apartment and there on the desk was the phone. Ooops! I guess I forgot about that one little ever so tiny detail. I picked up the phone and brought it to my ear where I could hear tears of laughter. He was laughing so hard. I said with a coy voice, "I got it." He just continued to laugh as he asked, "All of that for a spider?!" I still had goose bumps from the whole ordeal. He had tears in his eyes he was laughing so hard. I definitely need to date someone who is better at handling situations like these. Any single exterminators out there?
Friday, March 26, 2010
Physics, I'm better at chemestry
Everyone knows how not good with numbers and math I am. Did I mention that I have a Physics class this semester, a physics class at 8:00 in the morning that is. I hate that class! If I don't pass the class, I don't graduate this semester.
The professor is 80 something years old, from India, and blind in one eye. His accent is as thick as his inability to teach, which is pretty thick. No one understands him, even the hearing people in my class have trouble. The interpreters sometimes struggle, they tell me when he says stuff funny. If anyone asks him to clarify what he says, he just repeats himself. If no one understood it the first time, they surely didn't understand it the second time. People gave up asking questions, now he yells at the class for not asking questions. What a pain in the neck! I don't understand anything in that class and there were no prerequisites for either. My advisor at the university told me to take that class because it "is an easy class" which is not true at all. I am definitely regretting I took the class but there is no option of dropping the class so I am just hoping for a D just so I can graduate and move on with my life. Not that I know what I am going to do after graduation anyway but anything is better that sitting in that horrible class at 8:00 in the morning three days a week.
Okay so how does a beautiful woman like me get help with physics? I flirt of course, with a young guy in my class. So now I have a tutor twice a week. Usually we meet in a study lounge in school but recently we went out to lunch together on a "study date" I guess you could call it. It is weird, just about anything can be considered a date these days. We went to lunch and didn't talk much about physics. Sweet kid but he is 14 years my junior. I feel like a cougar. Rrrrwwwwoooowwwwwww......
He kept telling me, "That's not that bad." When I referred to how much younger he is than I. He is a musician, a composer. Cute, but it just seems weird to me because he is so much younger than I am. Anyway, I still need his help with the class so either way, I am still going to have him as a tutor for a while. I will just have to hold him at bay.
Although..., the thought of a younger man...hmmm. His hair is a little long, normally I prefer short hair but it looks good on him. He has a nice style of clothes and speaks well educated. We never have to try to think of something to say. I really don't want anything to become uncomfortable that makes it difficult for him to tutor me, because I need his help. Numbers are not my thing, unless it is phone numbers, I can always get phone numbers. lol
The professor is 80 something years old, from India, and blind in one eye. His accent is as thick as his inability to teach, which is pretty thick. No one understands him, even the hearing people in my class have trouble. The interpreters sometimes struggle, they tell me when he says stuff funny. If anyone asks him to clarify what he says, he just repeats himself. If no one understood it the first time, they surely didn't understand it the second time. People gave up asking questions, now he yells at the class for not asking questions. What a pain in the neck! I don't understand anything in that class and there were no prerequisites for either. My advisor at the university told me to take that class because it "is an easy class" which is not true at all. I am definitely regretting I took the class but there is no option of dropping the class so I am just hoping for a D just so I can graduate and move on with my life. Not that I know what I am going to do after graduation anyway but anything is better that sitting in that horrible class at 8:00 in the morning three days a week.
Okay so how does a beautiful woman like me get help with physics? I flirt of course, with a young guy in my class. So now I have a tutor twice a week. Usually we meet in a study lounge in school but recently we went out to lunch together on a "study date" I guess you could call it. It is weird, just about anything can be considered a date these days. We went to lunch and didn't talk much about physics. Sweet kid but he is 14 years my junior. I feel like a cougar. Rrrrwwwwoooowwwwwww......
He kept telling me, "That's not that bad." When I referred to how much younger he is than I. He is a musician, a composer. Cute, but it just seems weird to me because he is so much younger than I am. Anyway, I still need his help with the class so either way, I am still going to have him as a tutor for a while. I will just have to hold him at bay.
Although..., the thought of a younger man...hmmm. His hair is a little long, normally I prefer short hair but it looks good on him. He has a nice style of clothes and speaks well educated. We never have to try to think of something to say. I really don't want anything to become uncomfortable that makes it difficult for him to tutor me, because I need his help. Numbers are not my thing, unless it is phone numbers, I can always get phone numbers. lol
The Uniform always turns on
I had a date with a Navy recruiter. Uniforms always get me in trouble. You would think that I would have learned by now but there is just something about a uniform that is a huge turn on. He sent me the first email we met through one of the ridiculous dating sites that have "the ability and technology for the perfect match" but still want you to sign on and pay for a year membership.
We met for lunch not far from the office where he works. His photos online weren't anything to smile about so I wasn't to impressed with the photos but the profile and what he had to say was nice and made him more interesting. Let me inform you about the photos. None of them were in his uniform and in all of them he was dressed like a 14 year old boy wearing hats and hoodies and showing a couple of peace signs. These obviously did not impress me.
I arrived at the restaurant first and got a table not far from the door then I could watch him come in. I was really looking forward to seeing him in his uniform. Wow, when he walked in, I was pleasantly shocked. He looks nothing like the photos online. He is very cute and you know that uniform fits him just like they always fit in my dreams. I rose from the table and walked to him as he entered the restaurant. He looked at me with a big smile then announced to the host that he would be sitting with me that he already had a table. That is how he said it too.
We sat down at the table and he asked me how I was, five times. I told him, "You already asked me how I am five times." Then he very cutely replied, "I know, I'm sorry. You are more beautiful than your photos. I am a little nervous."
We both kept smiling at each other. I love a man in uniform. It usually gets me into trouble though. I probably should run when I see them but damn, I can't help it. It is a weakness I guess.
We tried to order our food, luckily I had been there before and ordered what I always order. He placed his order then we began to talk. He went into what I correctly assumed was his recruitment speech, talking about himself and how he joined the Navy and what a great opportunity it is for others. "Are you giving me your recruitment speech?" I asked him as I smiled and turned my head to one side. He smiled and turned a little red. "Sorry, I'm nervous and I automatically go into that because I say it so often as I talk to other people about joining the Navy." "It's okay" I told him.
Our food arrived and his nerves eased up on him a bit. I couldn't stop looking at him so cute in his sailor uniform. Then he asked me, "Do you always stare at people? Or is this something you are just doing now?" I started laughing, I told him that I was just looking at how cute he was and no, I don't normally stare at people."
I looked away and continued to eat my food while thinking to myself what a dork I am. lol
As we ate we talked about lots of different topics, likes, dislikes, travels, education, just about everything. Our date was about an hour and a half and it was difficult to leave but he had to go back to work. Both of us agreed that we would like to see each other again. We exchanged cell phone numbers and texts. I was leaving Portland in a few days so we chatted online.
What a dumb guy. He starts talking about sex and asking questions that are much too personal and non of his business. Sometimes I wonder if there really are any decent men out there. Time to say good bye to this guy.
We met for lunch not far from the office where he works. His photos online weren't anything to smile about so I wasn't to impressed with the photos but the profile and what he had to say was nice and made him more interesting. Let me inform you about the photos. None of them were in his uniform and in all of them he was dressed like a 14 year old boy wearing hats and hoodies and showing a couple of peace signs. These obviously did not impress me.
I arrived at the restaurant first and got a table not far from the door then I could watch him come in. I was really looking forward to seeing him in his uniform. Wow, when he walked in, I was pleasantly shocked. He looks nothing like the photos online. He is very cute and you know that uniform fits him just like they always fit in my dreams. I rose from the table and walked to him as he entered the restaurant. He looked at me with a big smile then announced to the host that he would be sitting with me that he already had a table. That is how he said it too.
We sat down at the table and he asked me how I was, five times. I told him, "You already asked me how I am five times." Then he very cutely replied, "I know, I'm sorry. You are more beautiful than your photos. I am a little nervous."
We both kept smiling at each other. I love a man in uniform. It usually gets me into trouble though. I probably should run when I see them but damn, I can't help it. It is a weakness I guess.
We tried to order our food, luckily I had been there before and ordered what I always order. He placed his order then we began to talk. He went into what I correctly assumed was his recruitment speech, talking about himself and how he joined the Navy and what a great opportunity it is for others. "Are you giving me your recruitment speech?" I asked him as I smiled and turned my head to one side. He smiled and turned a little red. "Sorry, I'm nervous and I automatically go into that because I say it so often as I talk to other people about joining the Navy." "It's okay" I told him.
Our food arrived and his nerves eased up on him a bit. I couldn't stop looking at him so cute in his sailor uniform. Then he asked me, "Do you always stare at people? Or is this something you are just doing now?" I started laughing, I told him that I was just looking at how cute he was and no, I don't normally stare at people."
I looked away and continued to eat my food while thinking to myself what a dork I am. lol
As we ate we talked about lots of different topics, likes, dislikes, travels, education, just about everything. Our date was about an hour and a half and it was difficult to leave but he had to go back to work. Both of us agreed that we would like to see each other again. We exchanged cell phone numbers and texts. I was leaving Portland in a few days so we chatted online.
What a dumb guy. He starts talking about sex and asking questions that are much too personal and non of his business. Sometimes I wonder if there really are any decent men out there. Time to say good bye to this guy.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Coffee cut short
A coffee date can be hard to screw up but it is amazing how easily someone can accomplish it. How difficult is it to sit at a doll size table, talk about meaningless things and then say good bye. How hard it that?
Apparently it is more difficult for some than for others. We met at the large coffee chain that I really hate, the name something like starbutt. He got incredibly over priced coffee and I had tea. We sat at the little table that was squeezed against the wall by large lurking advertising sign for the place we were already at.
Conversation began as always during an interval awkward date that is initiated by a over zealous horny teenage minded male who of course enjoys fishing. Only ten minutes into the feeble attempt at human interaction and conversation in a social atmosphere which my guess he hasn't successfully completed any time in the recent decade. He goes from the timid weather to asking, "When was the last time you had sex?" WOW! That is pretty damn gutsy to ask a woman from New York who has seen more muggings than a professional super hero. "That is none of your business!" I replied with damning eyebrows and a forceful smile. Then I continued on, "You don't even know me and you are already asking me about something personal. You have no consideration or tack. No wonder you are single and will probably will stay that way for along time." Then he actually tried to defend his question with, "Sorry if I offended you; I am just an open person." as if it were to make his rudeness acceptable by also being belligerent.
I thanked him for the tea and left.
Apparently it is more difficult for some than for others. We met at the large coffee chain that I really hate, the name something like starbutt. He got incredibly over priced coffee and I had tea. We sat at the little table that was squeezed against the wall by large lurking advertising sign for the place we were already at.
Conversation began as always during an interval awkward date that is initiated by a over zealous horny teenage minded male who of course enjoys fishing. Only ten minutes into the feeble attempt at human interaction and conversation in a social atmosphere which my guess he hasn't successfully completed any time in the recent decade. He goes from the timid weather to asking, "When was the last time you had sex?" WOW! That is pretty damn gutsy to ask a woman from New York who has seen more muggings than a professional super hero. "That is none of your business!" I replied with damning eyebrows and a forceful smile. Then I continued on, "You don't even know me and you are already asking me about something personal. You have no consideration or tack. No wonder you are single and will probably will stay that way for along time." Then he actually tried to defend his question with, "Sorry if I offended you; I am just an open person." as if it were to make his rudeness acceptable by also being belligerent.
I thanked him for the tea and left.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Grease and coffee
The plan was to meet at noon for lunch. He told me he would be coming from work so he would be wearing his work uniform. A blue shirt with his name written in blue thread on the left front shoulder. Good thing he told me because he didn't look like the photo online.
I arrived ten minutes early. I waited until 12:15 when I was thinking to give him another 5 minutes then I was planning to leave. All of a sudden he appears from the back of the restaurant with his check ready to pay. I said hi and asked, "Didn't we agree to meet at noon?" He said, Yeah, we did but I got here early." "Oh, okay. So then are you finished eating already?" I asked as I pointed to the check in his hand. "Yeah, but you can still eat. I will sit with you and have some more coffee." He was trying to be nice but I was uncomfortable and a little confused."
The not so exotic smell of grease and coffee retched through my nostrils as I tried not to flinch at the terrible smell as I looked over the menu. So many things to choose from and so many pretty pictures. Much nicer to look at than my date who pointed to his favorites on the menu. When he reached across the sticky maple syrup table, his gross, black grease stained poorly washed nail bitten fingers grossed me out. Just to get the moment rolling, I choose one of his suggestions and placed my order.
As I ate by myself, he told me a story about a friend of his that had a big snake and a big tarantula as pets. Then he continued on telling he how each one died and the guy had gloves, a belt, and boots made from the dead snake. His next choice of topic was even worse. He began telling me about every broken bone he has ever had and about the terrible motorcycle accident he was in but refused to go to the hospital. He said instead he went to a bar and poured shots of alcohol on the open wounds. He even went into detail about the open wounds, gravel inside of his skin, and pulling the torn skin off by himself. Did I mention the small little fact that I WAS EATING! gross. Why would you talk about that stuff on a first date and why would you tell anyone those stories while they are eating?!
At the end of the date, he pays the check and then asks me if I would like to go with him again. Are you kidding me?! I obviously didn't finish my lunch. I think his choice in conversation topics had a lot to do with that. Gross!
I arrived ten minutes early. I waited until 12:15 when I was thinking to give him another 5 minutes then I was planning to leave. All of a sudden he appears from the back of the restaurant with his check ready to pay. I said hi and asked, "Didn't we agree to meet at noon?" He said, Yeah, we did but I got here early." "Oh, okay. So then are you finished eating already?" I asked as I pointed to the check in his hand. "Yeah, but you can still eat. I will sit with you and have some more coffee." He was trying to be nice but I was uncomfortable and a little confused."
The not so exotic smell of grease and coffee retched through my nostrils as I tried not to flinch at the terrible smell as I looked over the menu. So many things to choose from and so many pretty pictures. Much nicer to look at than my date who pointed to his favorites on the menu. When he reached across the sticky maple syrup table, his gross, black grease stained poorly washed nail bitten fingers grossed me out. Just to get the moment rolling, I choose one of his suggestions and placed my order.
As I ate by myself, he told me a story about a friend of his that had a big snake and a big tarantula as pets. Then he continued on telling he how each one died and the guy had gloves, a belt, and boots made from the dead snake. His next choice of topic was even worse. He began telling me about every broken bone he has ever had and about the terrible motorcycle accident he was in but refused to go to the hospital. He said instead he went to a bar and poured shots of alcohol on the open wounds. He even went into detail about the open wounds, gravel inside of his skin, and pulling the torn skin off by himself. Did I mention the small little fact that I WAS EATING! gross. Why would you talk about that stuff on a first date and why would you tell anyone those stories while they are eating?!
At the end of the date, he pays the check and then asks me if I would like to go with him again. Are you kidding me?! I obviously didn't finish my lunch. I think his choice in conversation topics had a lot to do with that. Gross!
Friday, March 12, 2010
Bowling updates
The Bowling Pin Head keeps emailing me his bowling schedule and his bowling scores when he goes bowling. He invites me to every one of his bowling games. Ugh! Give me a break pal! He is leaving for his annual bowling trip to Los Vegas and he made sure to update me everyday on how the plan is coming along. Maybe someone should tell him that bowling is NOT exciting. How pathetic does life have to be to have the most exciting thing and only thing to talk about is bowling. Sure, it can be good exercise and maybe fun to enjoy with some friends and a few drinks well, maybe a lot of drinks. But for that to be the only conversation and interest wow, that is sad.
***
Have you ever seen the movie Shakes the Clown? It is an old movie with Bobcat Goldthwait. He wrote and stars in the movie of an alcoholic party clown who seems to always get himself in trouble but is helped out by his best friend (played by Adam Sandler). It is a funny movie with a serious twist but everything in the movie is clown related. For example, the pub they hang out in is called the Twisted Balloon. To get to the point, Bobcat Goldthwait's character has a girlfriend who is a "professional bowler" with a speech impediment. It is a good movie, go rent it.
***
Have you ever seen the movie Shakes the Clown? It is an old movie with Bobcat Goldthwait. He wrote and stars in the movie of an alcoholic party clown who seems to always get himself in trouble but is helped out by his best friend (played by Adam Sandler). It is a funny movie with a serious twist but everything in the movie is clown related. For example, the pub they hang out in is called the Twisted Balloon. To get to the point, Bobcat Goldthwait's character has a girlfriend who is a "professional bowler" with a speech impediment. It is a good movie, go rent it.
Arcade games and no touchy
The movie Avatar has been in theaters for sometime and has been doing very well. People who have seen it say it is really good. My date last night took me to see this movie and it was good but but I felt it to be longer than it needed to be. It was two and a half hours long, that is a long time to be sitting in a movie theater. I am not into the big chase scenes and the violence. I am sure that is to please the male factor in the audience. But other than that, it was good. The movie is an updated version of Pocahontas for the Y2K generation.
First the date started at a popular pizza and arcade place. He likes to play video games and it seems his intellect may not be any broader than that. We met there, I was starving since I had spent all day in the ceramics lab at school I didn't have time for lunch. The pizza was good too. :)
He may spend a lot of time playing video games at home but I kicked his but at air hockey and table soccer. It was good exercise playing those games for an hour. Another thing, part of the method to my madness was to keep him at a distance away. With him across a big game table he wouldn't be able to try and rub my back. *Shivers* Every chance he had, he would try to rub my back. If I walked next to him, he would reach over and rub my back and the same if I sat next to him. No touchy! I would intentionally walk fast so he couldn't do that. I also made sure not to initiate and physical contact like no hugging, no touching his hand or arm, no little punches to the shoulder, none of that. I could see he was handy enough and didn't want to encourage it. The theater had wide seats so I sat all the way to the other side of my seat to make sure there wasn't any chance of an arm being put around me.
Anytime I would say anything to start a conversation he would just say "Yup." Is that even a word? "Yup." "Yup." "Yup." That was his response to nearly everything. This guy is definitely from Wisconsin. No offence to you Wisconsinites reading this. But if you have dated a man from Wisconsin, then perhaps you know what I am talking about. I am sure he was probably just nervous though.
It was late, 10:30 by the time the movie was over. I went home and was surprised around 11:20pm when I received a phone call from the guy. He was "Just checking to make sure you made it home alright." That was nice because the weather was terrible. the fog was so thick driving home, it was like having Stevie Wonder drive.
First the date started at a popular pizza and arcade place. He likes to play video games and it seems his intellect may not be any broader than that. We met there, I was starving since I had spent all day in the ceramics lab at school I didn't have time for lunch. The pizza was good too. :)
He may spend a lot of time playing video games at home but I kicked his but at air hockey and table soccer. It was good exercise playing those games for an hour. Another thing, part of the method to my madness was to keep him at a distance away. With him across a big game table he wouldn't be able to try and rub my back. *Shivers* Every chance he had, he would try to rub my back. If I walked next to him, he would reach over and rub my back and the same if I sat next to him. No touchy! I would intentionally walk fast so he couldn't do that. I also made sure not to initiate and physical contact like no hugging, no touching his hand or arm, no little punches to the shoulder, none of that. I could see he was handy enough and didn't want to encourage it. The theater had wide seats so I sat all the way to the other side of my seat to make sure there wasn't any chance of an arm being put around me.
Anytime I would say anything to start a conversation he would just say "Yup." Is that even a word? "Yup." "Yup." "Yup." That was his response to nearly everything. This guy is definitely from Wisconsin. No offence to you Wisconsinites reading this. But if you have dated a man from Wisconsin, then perhaps you know what I am talking about. I am sure he was probably just nervous though.
It was late, 10:30 by the time the movie was over. I went home and was surprised around 11:20pm when I received a phone call from the guy. He was "Just checking to make sure you made it home alright." That was nice because the weather was terrible. the fog was so thick driving home, it was like having Stevie Wonder drive.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
Cell phone call
A couple of weeks ago, a date was scheduled, the guy never called to cancel and he didn't show up. Oh well I thought to myself, no big deal, there are plenty more. I left it completely out of my mind.
Thant is until he called this week. He called me and apologized for not showing up and said he felt bad but it really was unavoidable. I could hear an echo in the back ground and asked, "Is that your phone, where are you because I can hear your voice echoing?" He replied, "Oh, I am in a room and it echos in here." He continued to go on letting me know that he was going to be gone and wouldn't be able to set up another date for awhile. I had no interest in dating him anyway so I just pretended to be nice.
I started hearing some men talking in the background of the phone. "Is someone talking to you? It is difficult for me to understand what you are saying with others talking in the background." I asked him. "No," he said, "It is just some guys waiting to use the phone." Then I joked, "What are you at a pay phone or something? Didn't they stop making those in the 1990's?" He ignored the comment and he didn't laugh. He just said, "I have to go but I wanted to call you." We said good-bye and hung up.
With an odd expression on my face and a strange feeling in my mind, I knew something was fishy. I picked up the phone and dialed automatic call back. I was bit alarmed to hear a recording on the number that I had dialed a pay phone at the county jail and no in coming calls were allowed. Holy crap! That guy better not call me again!
Thant is until he called this week. He called me and apologized for not showing up and said he felt bad but it really was unavoidable. I could hear an echo in the back ground and asked, "Is that your phone, where are you because I can hear your voice echoing?" He replied, "Oh, I am in a room and it echos in here." He continued to go on letting me know that he was going to be gone and wouldn't be able to set up another date for awhile. I had no interest in dating him anyway so I just pretended to be nice.
I started hearing some men talking in the background of the phone. "Is someone talking to you? It is difficult for me to understand what you are saying with others talking in the background." I asked him. "No," he said, "It is just some guys waiting to use the phone." Then I joked, "What are you at a pay phone or something? Didn't they stop making those in the 1990's?" He ignored the comment and he didn't laugh. He just said, "I have to go but I wanted to call you." We said good-bye and hung up.
With an odd expression on my face and a strange feeling in my mind, I knew something was fishy. I picked up the phone and dialed automatic call back. I was bit alarmed to hear a recording on the number that I had dialed a pay phone at the county jail and no in coming calls were allowed. Holy crap! That guy better not call me again!
Pre-birthday date
The day before my birthday I had a date with a really nice guy. He took me to one of my favorite restaurants, Japanese. It was on Saturday and I had never been there on a Saturday and probably will never go on a Saturday again. It was a two hour and 20 minute wait. Can you believe that?
When we finally did get to our table, it was a lot fun. The chef cooking with all of the flips and fancy vegetable cutting, tall fires and flipping shrimp tails in everyone's drinks.
My date told them that it was my birthday and they bring you a birthday cake that has "Happy Birthday" written on it in Japanese. Then they take your picture, put it in a card, and sing "Happy Birthday" in Japanese. The food was always oh so good! Eating the left-overs the next day is the second best part of eating dinner there. lol
Thank you young man. It was a lot of fun and I have a cool card to remember it by.
When we finally did get to our table, it was a lot fun. The chef cooking with all of the flips and fancy vegetable cutting, tall fires and flipping shrimp tails in everyone's drinks.
My date told them that it was my birthday and they bring you a birthday cake that has "Happy Birthday" written on it in Japanese. Then they take your picture, put it in a card, and sing "Happy Birthday" in Japanese. The food was always oh so good! Eating the left-overs the next day is the second best part of eating dinner there. lol
Thank you young man. It was a lot of fun and I have a cool card to remember it by.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Sad chuckles
The whole thing was just... I don't know where to begin. He called me, we had a short phone date. He speaks very quiet on the phone and a little bit slow. I could hear his nervousness clamor through the phone in his nervous chuckle that he seemed to do anytime there was a brief moment of silence or after finishing a sentence.
We met at one of his favorite restaurants. He was short and very closed in. You could see his shy and timid personality that out shined his portliness. He talked and walked with his head on a down angle most likely due to his shy timid demeanor.
The hostess began the long walk to our table and it was then that I noticed that the petite awkward man, took very small steps. Steps that made him appear that he was almost on the verge of stumbling forward which made him appear to be even more awkward. We sat at our table which compared to him was tiny. He ate like a starving animal. He was far finished before I even made it close to the half of my dinner. The plans were to have dinner then go see a movie. I would have liked to have ended the date after dinner but not because of anything terrible, but really it was a sad state and an uncomfortable situation.
It was sad really, it was like seeing a wounded deer. You're not sure if your should put them out of their misery of take them to a vet. Either way, you can't take them home. He obviously is strong and brave enough to ask women out on dates. So you have to give him credit there. Most men are big chicken shits that way.
He told me some sad stories about his life. You could easily see how socially inept he is. Which made it all the more obvious of his lonely state. Ugh, I felt so much pity for him. His nervous chuckle was getting hard to ignore. I am sure he probably didn't even realize he was doing it.
It was an uncomfortable and fast dinner I wanted to end the date. I truly did not want to add to anymore unfortunate moments in this guy's life.
We found the theater and looked around for seats. He didn't fit well in the seats, he kind of had to sit in on an angle. I felt even worse. We didn't have any conversation through the movie. The movie we saw was When in Rome it was funny. After the movie we were walking out "Maybe we could go for a drink or something." I smiled and said, "Thank you but no." He said that he really enjoyed it and hoped we can go out again sometime.
A little red cartoon devil popped up and sat on my left shoulder and said, "Don't do it. You are already uncomfortable. Don't do it, I know you're thinking about it." Then another little cartoon devil buddy of his popped up right next to him. He was in full agreement with the first rude cartoon. The second one said to the first in a much higher voice as if he were inhaling helium. "You know she will. Let's just see what happens." Then they looked on as if something terribly interesting was going to occur. Then on my right shoulder a little elf popped up. My internal mind just looked at him and said, "Hey, where is my shoulder Angel?" The little elf just looked at me and said, "I came instead, on behalf of your date." "Oh no, that's not fair." I said to the little elf who actually appeared to be made of plastic. He looked more like one of those little gnome's in an old woman's front lawn. You know the ones with the pick ax and the big smile on their face. They are supposed to be cute but the creepiness factor is definitely underestimated.
Then my date told me he had a really nice time. In my mind I can't understand why. I just took a deep breath and said with a half smile, "Sure, we can go out again some time." Again, I thanked him for the movie and dinner, shook his hand and wished him a safe drive.
As I walked back to my car those damn little cartoon devils jumped up and did a high five. Those little bastards! Then the elf looking gnome guy popped up again, still holding the pick ax in his hands says, "Well, I guess I won't be needing this." and disappeared. The little red cartoon devils with their little horns and pointy tails weren't going anywhere that quickly. They hung around for a bit laughing and poking fun at me.
Later that evening the guy sent me an email telling me what a great time he had on our date. I could only imagine the horrible dates he must have endured for this one to be considered a great time.
We met at one of his favorite restaurants. He was short and very closed in. You could see his shy and timid personality that out shined his portliness. He talked and walked with his head on a down angle most likely due to his shy timid demeanor.
The hostess began the long walk to our table and it was then that I noticed that the petite awkward man, took very small steps. Steps that made him appear that he was almost on the verge of stumbling forward which made him appear to be even more awkward. We sat at our table which compared to him was tiny. He ate like a starving animal. He was far finished before I even made it close to the half of my dinner. The plans were to have dinner then go see a movie. I would have liked to have ended the date after dinner but not because of anything terrible, but really it was a sad state and an uncomfortable situation.
It was sad really, it was like seeing a wounded deer. You're not sure if your should put them out of their misery of take them to a vet. Either way, you can't take them home. He obviously is strong and brave enough to ask women out on dates. So you have to give him credit there. Most men are big chicken shits that way.
He told me some sad stories about his life. You could easily see how socially inept he is. Which made it all the more obvious of his lonely state. Ugh, I felt so much pity for him. His nervous chuckle was getting hard to ignore. I am sure he probably didn't even realize he was doing it.
It was an uncomfortable and fast dinner I wanted to end the date. I truly did not want to add to anymore unfortunate moments in this guy's life.
We found the theater and looked around for seats. He didn't fit well in the seats, he kind of had to sit in on an angle. I felt even worse. We didn't have any conversation through the movie. The movie we saw was When in Rome it was funny. After the movie we were walking out "Maybe we could go for a drink or something." I smiled and said, "Thank you but no." He said that he really enjoyed it and hoped we can go out again sometime.
A little red cartoon devil popped up and sat on my left shoulder and said, "Don't do it. You are already uncomfortable. Don't do it, I know you're thinking about it." Then another little cartoon devil buddy of his popped up right next to him. He was in full agreement with the first rude cartoon. The second one said to the first in a much higher voice as if he were inhaling helium. "You know she will. Let's just see what happens." Then they looked on as if something terribly interesting was going to occur. Then on my right shoulder a little elf popped up. My internal mind just looked at him and said, "Hey, where is my shoulder Angel?" The little elf just looked at me and said, "I came instead, on behalf of your date." "Oh no, that's not fair." I said to the little elf who actually appeared to be made of plastic. He looked more like one of those little gnome's in an old woman's front lawn. You know the ones with the pick ax and the big smile on their face. They are supposed to be cute but the creepiness factor is definitely underestimated.
Then my date told me he had a really nice time. In my mind I can't understand why. I just took a deep breath and said with a half smile, "Sure, we can go out again some time." Again, I thanked him for the movie and dinner, shook his hand and wished him a safe drive.
As I walked back to my car those damn little cartoon devils jumped up and did a high five. Those little bastards! Then the elf looking gnome guy popped up again, still holding the pick ax in his hands says, "Well, I guess I won't be needing this." and disappeared. The little red cartoon devils with their little horns and pointy tails weren't going anywhere that quickly. They hung around for a bit laughing and poking fun at me.
Later that evening the guy sent me an email telling me what a great time he had on our date. I could only imagine the horrible dates he must have endured for this one to be considered a great time.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Scary woodsman
Japanese was my suggestion but he said not, his choice was a sports bar. Since he was paying, I guess he can choose. I met him there and he left his class, I am assuming at home because he didn't have any with him.
"How was your day at work?" He asked me. "Fine, it was slow so I was able to get some reading done." I replied then returned the question, "How was your day?" He began his long un-interesting story, "It was long, I was out late last night, had too much to drink with my friends, then woke up early this morning and went ice fishing." Ice-fishing, oh boy, this one even goes ice fishing. "Wasn't it cold?" I asked just trying to pretend I was almost interested. But I was surprised at his response. "No, we just build a fire. It is like camping." After a pause, I asked, "You built a fire on the ice?" To me that just sounds either next to impossible or remarkably stupid. "It works, you can build a fire on the ice, it will burn." he informed me. Completely out of my element, I asked what seemed to be a stupid question but what the hell, "Doesn't the fire melt the ice?" "Yeah, it melts some but it doesn't go all the way through." "Oh I see." I said still thinking that was a dumb idea to weaken ice that is covering a lake which by the way, your car is parked on. But, what do I know? Just a little common sense. If I had some super glue with me, I would have tried to leave some common sense with him because that would have been the only way it would have stayed with him.
"What else do you like to do when the lake isn't frozen?" I asked hoping for a much more interesting topic than ice-fishing. But, I wasn't so lucky, in fact, it got a whole lot worse. "In the spring and summer I go fishing a lot and in the fall, I go hunting every weekend. I'm gone hunting a lot."
*My inner coach kicked in, 'Okay Carrie, be nice and remember your facial expressions, don't move a muscle, just smile and pretend that you heard something interesting.'*
"Every weekend?" I asked in a disbelief, then I continued with another question that seemed to be legitimate. I don't know much about hunting but I do know you can only hunt during selected seasons. "Isn't there only specific times of the year or seasons that you can hunt?" He quickly said, "Yeah, but there is deer season with is long because of bow and rifle hunting, there is pheasant season, and duck season." Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck flashed into my head each one holding a sign, "Duck Season" and "Rabbit Season"
Wow, this guy really likes to kill things. Which quickly turned from a sarcastic comment in my mind to a terrifying mental statement. When he began talking about how many guns and knives he has and then asked me, "Do you want to come to my house and see them?" Every muscle in my body froze. A television in my brain quickly flipped though channels of horror movies and news flashes. Silence of the Lambs, Kiss the Girls, The Dungeon Master, women killed by meeting guys on line, and that creepy voice "Clarice". Uhhhgh! I was reading a map in my mind how quickly to get on the Highway home, where I was exactly, then I calmly reached to my pocket to make sure my cell phone was there. All of these thoughts happened in seconds but they were very vivid.
I looked at him and said, You know what, I have an early class tomorrow and I would like to make it an early night. But thanks anyway." I should have guessed that wouldn't be enough for him. He replied back, "We could just go for a little bit, it won't take long." I politely reminded him that this is our first time meeting and I would like to stay in public.
He said, "I understand, but it is a nice little house that I have been working on and I thought maybe I could get your artistic advice on painting it." To me it seemed an obvious way to try to get me to change my mind, I responded to him, "You know, if you look online, there a literally millions of ideas that people have done. Far more than I could ever come up with, I bet you could find lots of things there." Still pushing the issue he continued, "The land that the house is on is really beautiful, you would like it, there is a creek that goes down the back and woods on both sides of the house." If I wasn't already convinced that this could go horribly wrong, that pretty much did it. My body could end up lying on the side of the creek or somewhere in the woods. No thanks. I looked at him strongly and directly and said, "I am sure it is nice, thank you, but no."
He then ordered another beer, his third. "Are you going to be okay to drive?" I asked him. "Oh yeah, I had a lot more to drink than this and drove just fine." He boasted. This date is definitely a disaster! I made sure to not let it show, this guy was starting to scare me. Actually, let me rephrase that, he was scaring the hell out of me.
After finishing his third beer he asked, "Do you want to go to a different place and we could have a couple of drinks?" What could I say, he was so nice. "No thank you, I don't really drink much." Then he included, "Well, I could drive if you don't know your way around the area." He had three drinks in an hour, has a large collection of weapons, likes to kill things, and lives in the woods. My dream man. "No, actually, I better get going so I can get some rest, I have a long day tomorrow and a very early class. Thank you for dinner." I put on my jacket on and told him I needed to get going because I still had to drive home where I my homework was waiting for me. He walked me to my car and said good bye. When I pulled out of the drive way I checked to make sure he wasn't following me. Wow, what was going on with that guy?
"How was your day at work?" He asked me. "Fine, it was slow so I was able to get some reading done." I replied then returned the question, "How was your day?" He began his long un-interesting story, "It was long, I was out late last night, had too much to drink with my friends, then woke up early this morning and went ice fishing." Ice-fishing, oh boy, this one even goes ice fishing. "Wasn't it cold?" I asked just trying to pretend I was almost interested. But I was surprised at his response. "No, we just build a fire. It is like camping." After a pause, I asked, "You built a fire on the ice?" To me that just sounds either next to impossible or remarkably stupid. "It works, you can build a fire on the ice, it will burn." he informed me. Completely out of my element, I asked what seemed to be a stupid question but what the hell, "Doesn't the fire melt the ice?" "Yeah, it melts some but it doesn't go all the way through." "Oh I see." I said still thinking that was a dumb idea to weaken ice that is covering a lake which by the way, your car is parked on. But, what do I know? Just a little common sense. If I had some super glue with me, I would have tried to leave some common sense with him because that would have been the only way it would have stayed with him.
"What else do you like to do when the lake isn't frozen?" I asked hoping for a much more interesting topic than ice-fishing. But, I wasn't so lucky, in fact, it got a whole lot worse. "In the spring and summer I go fishing a lot and in the fall, I go hunting every weekend. I'm gone hunting a lot."
*My inner coach kicked in, 'Okay Carrie, be nice and remember your facial expressions, don't move a muscle, just smile and pretend that you heard something interesting.'*
"Every weekend?" I asked in a disbelief, then I continued with another question that seemed to be legitimate. I don't know much about hunting but I do know you can only hunt during selected seasons. "Isn't there only specific times of the year or seasons that you can hunt?" He quickly said, "Yeah, but there is deer season with is long because of bow and rifle hunting, there is pheasant season, and duck season." Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck flashed into my head each one holding a sign, "Duck Season" and "Rabbit Season"
Wow, this guy really likes to kill things. Which quickly turned from a sarcastic comment in my mind to a terrifying mental statement. When he began talking about how many guns and knives he has and then asked me, "Do you want to come to my house and see them?" Every muscle in my body froze. A television in my brain quickly flipped though channels of horror movies and news flashes. Silence of the Lambs, Kiss the Girls, The Dungeon Master, women killed by meeting guys on line, and that creepy voice "Clarice". Uhhhgh! I was reading a map in my mind how quickly to get on the Highway home, where I was exactly, then I calmly reached to my pocket to make sure my cell phone was there. All of these thoughts happened in seconds but they were very vivid.
I looked at him and said, You know what, I have an early class tomorrow and I would like to make it an early night. But thanks anyway." I should have guessed that wouldn't be enough for him. He replied back, "We could just go for a little bit, it won't take long." I politely reminded him that this is our first time meeting and I would like to stay in public.
He said, "I understand, but it is a nice little house that I have been working on and I thought maybe I could get your artistic advice on painting it." To me it seemed an obvious way to try to get me to change my mind, I responded to him, "You know, if you look online, there a literally millions of ideas that people have done. Far more than I could ever come up with, I bet you could find lots of things there." Still pushing the issue he continued, "The land that the house is on is really beautiful, you would like it, there is a creek that goes down the back and woods on both sides of the house." If I wasn't already convinced that this could go horribly wrong, that pretty much did it. My body could end up lying on the side of the creek or somewhere in the woods. No thanks. I looked at him strongly and directly and said, "I am sure it is nice, thank you, but no."
He then ordered another beer, his third. "Are you going to be okay to drive?" I asked him. "Oh yeah, I had a lot more to drink than this and drove just fine." He boasted. This date is definitely a disaster! I made sure to not let it show, this guy was starting to scare me. Actually, let me rephrase that, he was scaring the hell out of me.
After finishing his third beer he asked, "Do you want to go to a different place and we could have a couple of drinks?" What could I say, he was so nice. "No thank you, I don't really drink much." Then he included, "Well, I could drive if you don't know your way around the area." He had three drinks in an hour, has a large collection of weapons, likes to kill things, and lives in the woods. My dream man. "No, actually, I better get going so I can get some rest, I have a long day tomorrow and a very early class. Thank you for dinner." I put on my jacket on and told him I needed to get going because I still had to drive home where I my homework was waiting for me. He walked me to my car and said good bye. When I pulled out of the drive way I checked to make sure he wasn't following me. Wow, what was going on with that guy?
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Bowling pin-head
I thought fishing was the worst thing but now it seems that fishing has some competition of how bad of a conversation it can be. Bowling! Tonight I was on a date with a man that eats, sleeps, lives, and talks non-stop about bowling. Guys, please, get a life! He is on two leagues, not just one, that wouldn't be enough, he is on two, twice a week. He showed me his bowling ring that he keeps shinny with heroic pride. A ring for bowling? I thought the basketball and football rings were dumb but a ring for bowling?! Funny how men are never so excited to show off their wedding rings! He told me the ring is to show that he had a perfect game, knocked down all the pins. I should have told him to spare me the details. You get it spare. lol
Oh, and he has this little Clark Gable mustache and the haircut to match. I bet Clark Gable never bowled or fished. Tonight was a piece, he goes bowling, fishing, and camping, everything I try to avoid. The way he was talking and carrying on I thought he was a few balls short of a bowling game. He told me all about his very own ball, shoes, and matching bag. Sounds gay to me.
He told me he goes to Nevada every year for vacation. Finally, something other than bowling. "Really, that's cool. Do you have friends or family that you visit there every year?" I asked him. He looked at me stunned and said, "NO. There is a big bowling tournament there every year." Oh, stupid me, what the hell was I thinking?!
Another thing that was really annoying, as if I need more. He would constantly respond to comments with the same thing, "Yeah right.", "Yeah right.", "Yeah right.", "Yeah right.", "Yeah right.", "Yeah right.". Like a broken record. Occasionally he would throw in a "Yup." Seriously, do people really talk like that? "Yup." "Yeah right."
Isn't it funny how men talk about women but every sport is always for some fashion accessory. Superbowl, they try all season to go to Superbowl, and what is their reward, a ring. Wrestling, men beat and tie each other in knots for a belt. And don't even get me started on boxing, how gay is that? Two men oiled up wearing silk shorts, gloves, and fighting over a belt! What are they fighting in, a ring and they have to have their embroidered robes with their names on. And I thought women in malls were rough. Good thing there are no sales in sporting games, it would end up in war.
There is an arm brace on my right arm because I sprained it. He asks, "What happened to your arm?" I said, "I sprained it power lifting." In amazement he repeated, "Power lifting, really?" Then I replied, "No, but it is a better story than saying I fell off a bar stool when I was out with my friends on Sunday."
Back to short stop. We met at a pub for dinner and drinks. The pub serves basic pub food, burgers, pizza, that sort of thing. The food was okay, nothing to write home about. Yeah, I called the guy 'short stop' because he was so much shorter than me. I am only 5'8", I towered over him as if I was six foot. He was said he was 5'5" but like all men, they brag more about the few inches they don't have then to tell you about the disappointing ones they do have.
Oh, and he has this little Clark Gable mustache and the haircut to match. I bet Clark Gable never bowled or fished. Tonight was a piece, he goes bowling, fishing, and camping, everything I try to avoid. The way he was talking and carrying on I thought he was a few balls short of a bowling game. He told me all about his very own ball, shoes, and matching bag. Sounds gay to me.
He told me he goes to Nevada every year for vacation. Finally, something other than bowling. "Really, that's cool. Do you have friends or family that you visit there every year?" I asked him. He looked at me stunned and said, "NO. There is a big bowling tournament there every year." Oh, stupid me, what the hell was I thinking?!
Another thing that was really annoying, as if I need more. He would constantly respond to comments with the same thing, "Yeah right.", "Yeah right.", "Yeah right.", "Yeah right.", "Yeah right.", "Yeah right.". Like a broken record. Occasionally he would throw in a "Yup." Seriously, do people really talk like that? "Yup." "Yeah right."
Isn't it funny how men talk about women but every sport is always for some fashion accessory. Superbowl, they try all season to go to Superbowl, and what is their reward, a ring. Wrestling, men beat and tie each other in knots for a belt. And don't even get me started on boxing, how gay is that? Two men oiled up wearing silk shorts, gloves, and fighting over a belt! What are they fighting in, a ring and they have to have their embroidered robes with their names on. And I thought women in malls were rough. Good thing there are no sales in sporting games, it would end up in war.
There is an arm brace on my right arm because I sprained it. He asks, "What happened to your arm?" I said, "I sprained it power lifting." In amazement he repeated, "Power lifting, really?" Then I replied, "No, but it is a better story than saying I fell off a bar stool when I was out with my friends on Sunday."
Back to short stop. We met at a pub for dinner and drinks. The pub serves basic pub food, burgers, pizza, that sort of thing. The food was okay, nothing to write home about. Yeah, I called the guy 'short stop' because he was so much shorter than me. I am only 5'8", I towered over him as if I was six foot. He was said he was 5'5" but like all men, they brag more about the few inches they don't have then to tell you about the disappointing ones they do have.
Friday, February 26, 2010
The elusive Pumpkin Head
I met up with Pumpkin head today for tea. We met at a popular book store that also sells coffee and tea. We sat for a brief moment then walked around the store looking at our favorite books, discussing about our favorite authors and subjects. He like Christian books and business books, I like Christian books, and of course art books. We have read some of the same books and referred a few to each other as well. This was much more fun than the first time we meet.
He is so elusive though, still doesn't give out much information about himself. Most guys can't wait to pretend I'm Oprah and they are sitting on a couch telling me their life story thinking that I am at all interested. Not this guy. Part of me likes it, and part of me doesn't. Men aren't so different. I just am not sure about him. Which completely bugs me because a gut feeling usually isn't wrong. PISSER!
He thinks I analyse everything. I don't analyse everything, just things that I know will tell me more about the person and their personality. Little things that give clues to the person without them even knowing it. His body language is always in, he doesn't move his arms and legs too far away from the rest of his body, that means he is an introvert. Twice now we have met face to face, and he never takes off his coat which can mean a number of things, that he is shy, not comfortable with others, likes to be hidden or is hiding, doesn't want to be vulnerable, etc. Personally I think he is hiding something. He doesn't keep a lot of eye contact, these are things that tell you a lot about the person. I don't want to give away all my secrets but you get the general idea.
One thing though, when we were ordering our drinks, I couldn't decide if I wanted tea or hot chocolate. He couldn't decide if he was going to order coffee (he always drinks coffee) or hot chocolate. I ordered one of my favorite teas, he ordered hot chocolate. When we sat down, he put his cup of hot chocolate on the table in front of me and said, "Here you go, you get the first taste." It took me off guard because of how much of an introvert he is and he doesn't give any physical contact when talking. I touch his arm sometimes while talking, when he talks, again, he keeps his hands on his lap or in his pockets. So for him to offer me to drink from his cup which is something personal, surprised me. When I am on a date I never allow the guy to drink from my cup, touch my food, it even freaks me out if they come near my plate.
The elusive Pumpkin head has captured more of my interest than I care to confess. Most of us are familiar with the stories and legends surrounding such mysterious and elusive creatures as Bigfoot or Yeti, The Loch Ness Monster and, more recently, Chupacabras. But there is a host of lesser-known yet equally enigmatic creatures that have been spotted around the world - The Pumpkin Head. Unlike many elusive creatures in the media, this I feel is nothing to fear. No need to saran wrap your houses and hide away your children, put those high tech video devices away, don't shoot on sight, and no need to call the National Enquirer. Go back to your lives citizens, this elusive creature is cute and fairly harmless. All though, I would like to see more of him. On second thought, send all reports and documentations to me, any photos too.
He is so elusive though, still doesn't give out much information about himself. Most guys can't wait to pretend I'm Oprah and they are sitting on a couch telling me their life story thinking that I am at all interested. Not this guy. Part of me likes it, and part of me doesn't. Men aren't so different. I just am not sure about him. Which completely bugs me because a gut feeling usually isn't wrong. PISSER!
He thinks I analyse everything. I don't analyse everything, just things that I know will tell me more about the person and their personality. Little things that give clues to the person without them even knowing it. His body language is always in, he doesn't move his arms and legs too far away from the rest of his body, that means he is an introvert. Twice now we have met face to face, and he never takes off his coat which can mean a number of things, that he is shy, not comfortable with others, likes to be hidden or is hiding, doesn't want to be vulnerable, etc. Personally I think he is hiding something. He doesn't keep a lot of eye contact, these are things that tell you a lot about the person. I don't want to give away all my secrets but you get the general idea.
One thing though, when we were ordering our drinks, I couldn't decide if I wanted tea or hot chocolate. He couldn't decide if he was going to order coffee (he always drinks coffee) or hot chocolate. I ordered one of my favorite teas, he ordered hot chocolate. When we sat down, he put his cup of hot chocolate on the table in front of me and said, "Here you go, you get the first taste." It took me off guard because of how much of an introvert he is and he doesn't give any physical contact when talking. I touch his arm sometimes while talking, when he talks, again, he keeps his hands on his lap or in his pockets. So for him to offer me to drink from his cup which is something personal, surprised me. When I am on a date I never allow the guy to drink from my cup, touch my food, it even freaks me out if they come near my plate.
The elusive Pumpkin head has captured more of my interest than I care to confess. Most of us are familiar with the stories and legends surrounding such mysterious and elusive creatures as Bigfoot or Yeti, The Loch Ness Monster and, more recently, Chupacabras. But there is a host of lesser-known yet equally enigmatic creatures that have been spotted around the world - The Pumpkin Head. Unlike many elusive creatures in the media, this I feel is nothing to fear. No need to saran wrap your houses and hide away your children, put those high tech video devices away, don't shoot on sight, and no need to call the National Enquirer. Go back to your lives citizens, this elusive creature is cute and fairly harmless. All though, I would like to see more of him. On second thought, send all reports and documentations to me, any photos too.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Hibachi art
Head over heels man is doing better and we had a dinner date together. He took me to a hibachi grill restaurant. WOW! Those chefs can do amazing things. They are so fast. It is one of those restaurants where they cook everything at your table, flip the shrimp tails in to your drink, in their ridiculously tall chef hats and then of course the last one in their shirt pocket. The practically set the restaurant on fire. But it was amazing. They spin the knives around and juggle with the shakers in front and behind their backs, never missing a step. The atmosphere was amazing. Art work and murals on the walls, a genuine samurai uniform was in the sushi room, and there were mannequins dressed up like ninjas hanging from the ceiling and around corners. It was really cool.
I didn't even mention the food. It taste amazing. I had the swordfish and fillet mignon. I don't think I ever taste food so good. It was my first time experiencing the restaurant but I can't wait to go back. There is a difference between taking a woman out to dinner and bringing her along for dinner. This man defiantly took me out to dinner. Both of us love Japanese food and surprisingly, both of us studied Chinese history. We had a lot to talk about. It was nice to have something in common that most people don't. The only other people i could talk to about Chinese history, are my friends from China so it was nice to know that we had the same interest.
It was a wonderful date, better than I have had in a very long time. This is one guy I want to see again. Yes, he has graduated with high marks, to a second date.
***
UPDATE:
This guy was arrested for DWI. There won't be another day with him!
I didn't even mention the food. It taste amazing. I had the swordfish and fillet mignon. I don't think I ever taste food so good. It was my first time experiencing the restaurant but I can't wait to go back. There is a difference between taking a woman out to dinner and bringing her along for dinner. This man defiantly took me out to dinner. Both of us love Japanese food and surprisingly, both of us studied Chinese history. We had a lot to talk about. It was nice to have something in common that most people don't. The only other people i could talk to about Chinese history, are my friends from China so it was nice to know that we had the same interest.
It was a wonderful date, better than I have had in a very long time. This is one guy I want to see again. Yes, he has graduated with high marks, to a second date.
***
UPDATE:
This guy was arrested for DWI. There won't be another day with him!
The Hooker belly
Sunday morning the phone rings, it is Theresa "Carrie, your laptop is ready. What are you doing?" I reply, "Nothing why, what are you doing?" "We are at a bar and soon we are going to another place for chicken, you should come with us." Theresa was saying as a familiar voice called out in the background of the phone. It was our old buddy Hooker.
Now, don't be confused with a drugged out most likely female with one broken high heel and a rip in her pantyhose that when undressed is a male that stands on street corners looking for the next high. No, this is the infamous "Hooker". This nickname derived from taking part of his last name and adding letters to it to make it more embarrassing for him, after all, that is the American way! lol
Gee, this all sound like a great time. "What time are you meeting down there?" I asked. Hooker replied before Theresa could even say anything, "What time is it now?" Hooker asked. "Tell him it is eleven thirty." I said as I laughed to myself.
"Then we will be there at noon." They all agreed.
I met them there, the place was so far off the map, I had to kiss a local just to get directions. The place was packed, apparently they have good food. We sat at the bar, talked, laughed, had a few drinks, had a few more drinks, I rubbed Hooker's belly, had a few more drinks, forgot where I was, ate some chicken, and had another drink. Then I rode with Theresa and her bottom half, um I mean her husband. lol To the next pub. Which by the way, was filled with old people and one of my professors.
Theresa's husband is so nice, to protect his identity, we will call him "Ron-stop-able". Very nice guy, great smile. IF he was close to my age, a lot taller at least 6'5", had a muscular build, was better looking, was wealthy, lived in a metropolitan area, dressed nicer, had a some-what of a tan (now he looks like he should be living in a haunted house), if he could cook, and NEVER went fishing, I would want one just like him. lol
Now, let me explain a little bit about my good buddy Hooker. He is a tall almost handsome man...emphasis on the almost part. lol He has a belly like Buddha but instead of it being covered in gold, his is covered with hair. I rub his belly over his shirt. Rubbing his belly really is good luck. Every time a rubbed it, there was another drink in front of me. Wow, I should get a travel size one for in my purse. Minus the hair of course. I was getting so drunk (normally I do not drink so it didn't take much) I told Hooker that he had to write the next morning's blog for me because I wouldn't be able to remember the events of the day. But nothing showed up in my email yet. lol He told me the funniest joke while we were at the pub...if only I could remember what it was. It was so funny,...what was that?
*** (Read the joke)
Have I told you that Theresa is my P.I.C.? You know, my partner in craziness. When we are separate, we are almost normal, great, fun loving, happy-go-lucky, gorgeous women but when we get together, we are all of that and then some. If laughing was a diet, I would be the skinniest woman around. The world is a party when Theresa is there. We could have fun in a dentist office or even dare I say, the DMV. She makes me laugh so hard, she is a really good friend.
By the way, just for the record, it is her fault that this blog exists. The whole thing was her idea. So when you are laughing so hard that your drink sprays out your nose, she is the one to blame.
It all began when I would go visit with her after bad dates looking for a little comforting, some sympathy, and some kindness from a women's sense of solidarity. I expected her to say, "There are plenty of fish in the sea. Don't worry, Prince Charming is out there. etc." That is what I expected to hear from my best friend. But no, what did I get? Laughter. She would laugh so hard at my expense at my experiences with these horrible dates. She said that it was so funny, that everyone would laugh and that I should have a blog. I looked at her and said, "Thanks a lot! What is a blog?" I also told her, "I'm not a writer, I am an artist." She turned to her computer and 32.5 seconds later, she says, "Here, this is your new blog address." and a legend was born. Theresa, all the world thanks you.
***
Now, don't be confused with a drugged out most likely female with one broken high heel and a rip in her pantyhose that when undressed is a male that stands on street corners looking for the next high. No, this is the infamous "Hooker". This nickname derived from taking part of his last name and adding letters to it to make it more embarrassing for him, after all, that is the American way! lol
Gee, this all sound like a great time. "What time are you meeting down there?" I asked. Hooker replied before Theresa could even say anything, "What time is it now?" Hooker asked. "Tell him it is eleven thirty." I said as I laughed to myself.
"Then we will be there at noon." They all agreed.
I met them there, the place was so far off the map, I had to kiss a local just to get directions. The place was packed, apparently they have good food. We sat at the bar, talked, laughed, had a few drinks, had a few more drinks, I rubbed Hooker's belly, had a few more drinks, forgot where I was, ate some chicken, and had another drink. Then I rode with Theresa and her bottom half, um I mean her husband. lol To the next pub. Which by the way, was filled with old people and one of my professors.
Theresa's husband is so nice, to protect his identity, we will call him "Ron-stop-able". Very nice guy, great smile. IF he was close to my age, a lot taller at least 6'5", had a muscular build, was better looking, was wealthy, lived in a metropolitan area, dressed nicer, had a some-what of a tan (now he looks like he should be living in a haunted house), if he could cook, and NEVER went fishing, I would want one just like him. lol
Now, let me explain a little bit about my good buddy Hooker. He is a tall almost handsome man...emphasis on the almost part. lol He has a belly like Buddha but instead of it being covered in gold, his is covered with hair. I rub his belly over his shirt. Rubbing his belly really is good luck. Every time a rubbed it, there was another drink in front of me. Wow, I should get a travel size one for in my purse. Minus the hair of course. I was getting so drunk (normally I do not drink so it didn't take much) I told Hooker that he had to write the next morning's blog for me because I wouldn't be able to remember the events of the day. But nothing showed up in my email yet. lol He told me the funniest joke while we were at the pub...if only I could remember what it was. It was so funny,...what was that?
*** (Read the joke)
Have I told you that Theresa is my P.I.C.? You know, my partner in craziness. When we are separate, we are almost normal, great, fun loving, happy-go-lucky, gorgeous women but when we get together, we are all of that and then some. If laughing was a diet, I would be the skinniest woman around. The world is a party when Theresa is there. We could have fun in a dentist office or even dare I say, the DMV. She makes me laugh so hard, she is a really good friend.
By the way, just for the record, it is her fault that this blog exists. The whole thing was her idea. So when you are laughing so hard that your drink sprays out your nose, she is the one to blame.
It all began when I would go visit with her after bad dates looking for a little comforting, some sympathy, and some kindness from a women's sense of solidarity. I expected her to say, "There are plenty of fish in the sea. Don't worry, Prince Charming is out there. etc." That is what I expected to hear from my best friend. But no, what did I get? Laughter. She would laugh so hard at my expense at my experiences with these horrible dates. She said that it was so funny, that everyone would laugh and that I should have a blog. I looked at her and said, "Thanks a lot! What is a blog?" I also told her, "I'm not a writer, I am an artist." She turned to her computer and 32.5 seconds later, she says, "Here, this is your new blog address." and a legend was born. Theresa, all the world thanks you.
***
Monday, February 22, 2010
Date with probation
Webster's dictionary defines probation as "critical examination and evaluation or subjection to such examination and evaluation". This date definitely had that. I wrote to you about the ex-Marine in blog "Boom on the phone" Saturday night was our dinner date. By the way, his job is a probation officer. Have you seen the television sitcom, Everybody Loves Raymond? The brother Robert in the sitcom, that who I was on a date with. Well, not the actor but the date I had, talked and acted and had a negative personality just like the character Robert on the sitcom. Thankfully, he didn't touch his food to his chin every time he took a bite.
When we first met, we shook hands and he handed me his business card. I replied, "Oh, thanks, if I ever need a probation officer, I'll know who to call.
We agreed to meet at one of his favorite restaurants, he arrived there first and discovered there was an hour waiting list. Then he said, "Lets go to another place."
We left there and just decided to take one car so I rode in his car since it was his town and I didn't know where I was going anyway. The next place has a 45 minute waiting list. He turned to me and with a disappointed look on his face says, "Let's try another place." I said, "I don't mind waiting." "No" he said, "I know another place we can try." I told him, "It is Saturday evening, everywhere we go is going to have a waiting list." But yet again, we were back out in the parking lot walking to his car in search of another restaurant.
The next restaurant, what do you think happens, another waiting list. He can't wait, so we end up leaving that place also and going to another that is just a step up from a diner. I am wondering how we had gone from a nice restaurant, to a steak house, to another steak house to a diner. This is a bad sign on how the date is going to go, I can tell already. To his liking, the waiting list was only 20 minutes. If we would have stayed at the first restaurant, we would have been eating our nice dinner now.
He orders before me. Dinning etiquette, the woman's order is always taken first. If she doesn't know what she would like, you wait. I actually knew what I was ordering. When the waitress came to the table she was turned towards me and asked, "What would you like to order?" He jumps in and says, "I would like to order." After the orders are placed, the dreaded conversation begins.
Mostly he talks about money, how he doesn't ever have enough of it and he wants to date someone who is in a higher class or income bracket than he is. He continues on telling me about how he has dated lawyers, attorneys, other probation officers, his last "relationship", (and I use that term loosely), he says was with a news reporter. I asked him, "So what are you doing sitting across the table, out on a date with an artist?" He replies, "Because you have balls." I looked at him with a look of shock, he continued on, "I don't mean that to sound bad but you are bold, confident, and out-going." Oh, I was still confused considering how much he puts focus on money. He actually said, "You can't make it on less than $100,000. yearly income anymore. It's a tough world out there." He said that a lot, I think that is his coin phrase, "It's a tough world out there." He was wearing a diamond encrusted men's bracelet and a pinkie ring. Yeah, a pinkie ring. Are you serious!? This money hungry guy has plenty of it.
Okay, on to the reporter he told me about. This is the "last relationship" he had and said they broke up a month ago. He said, "It was really heart breaking for me, I thought she was the one, everything clicked, I thought I was getting closer to the American dream. She broke up with me, it was a total surprise, it took me almost a month to get over her." I asked him, how long were you together?" Much to my surprise, the way he was carrying on about her he replies, "A month, we went on two dates." "two dates?" I asked with a surprise look on my face. He said, "Yeah but we talked between those dates too." FREAK! I don't think two date consist of a relationship but he obviously does. Then I begin thinking, "Shit, this is our first date, he is already half way there!" How do you call two dates a relationship?
He is another one of those men who inhale their food. I think he swallowed half of his steak whole. "I'm sorry, I am a slow eater" I said to him as he sat with an empty plate. He said, "I think I eat fast, it is a trait from being in the military." When the waitress came back, he ordered dessert. As he ate his dessert and I tried to continue my meal, he carries on about this reporter. That is how he referred to her as "the reporter".
The date dragged on for three hours of him talking and then he says, "I have been so unsuccessful in dating. I don't understand it. It's a tough world out there." Then he continues on, "I can't understand it, I'm a great guy." Oy vey!@#$%^!@#$% The date was more like a therapy session than a date. Well, I can definitely understand it. He has a negative personality not to mention controlling.
He went on and on about money and standard of living, and blah blah blah. He said that a lot of it is peer pressure. I told him, "I think it is materialism." I said, "When people judge you according to what your income is, that is a problem. If a person looks down on you because you don't have a Movado watch, their are just..." I was stopped in the middle of my sentence by his laughter. He was laughing so hard. Which took me back because he didn't laugh through the entire date, he barely smiled.
When I looked at him in the midst of his uncontrolled laughing, he pulled up his shirt sleeve and there on his wrist was a Movado watch. I was a little mortified. I put one hand over my mouth and the other on my chest, "I am so sorry!" I apologized to him. He just continued to laugh. I smiled with embarrassment. He said, it's okay. He thought it was really funny. Thankfully.
Do you ever forget a person's name? I forgot his name, but what is worse, I didn't know I forgot his name. I was calling him by the wrong name throughout our entire date and he never corrected me. OMG! I could not believe I did that!
When we first met, we shook hands and he handed me his business card. I replied, "Oh, thanks, if I ever need a probation officer, I'll know who to call.
We agreed to meet at one of his favorite restaurants, he arrived there first and discovered there was an hour waiting list. Then he said, "Lets go to another place."
We left there and just decided to take one car so I rode in his car since it was his town and I didn't know where I was going anyway. The next place has a 45 minute waiting list. He turned to me and with a disappointed look on his face says, "Let's try another place." I said, "I don't mind waiting." "No" he said, "I know another place we can try." I told him, "It is Saturday evening, everywhere we go is going to have a waiting list." But yet again, we were back out in the parking lot walking to his car in search of another restaurant.
The next restaurant, what do you think happens, another waiting list. He can't wait, so we end up leaving that place also and going to another that is just a step up from a diner. I am wondering how we had gone from a nice restaurant, to a steak house, to another steak house to a diner. This is a bad sign on how the date is going to go, I can tell already. To his liking, the waiting list was only 20 minutes. If we would have stayed at the first restaurant, we would have been eating our nice dinner now.
He orders before me. Dinning etiquette, the woman's order is always taken first. If she doesn't know what she would like, you wait. I actually knew what I was ordering. When the waitress came to the table she was turned towards me and asked, "What would you like to order?" He jumps in and says, "I would like to order." After the orders are placed, the dreaded conversation begins.
Mostly he talks about money, how he doesn't ever have enough of it and he wants to date someone who is in a higher class or income bracket than he is. He continues on telling me about how he has dated lawyers, attorneys, other probation officers, his last "relationship", (and I use that term loosely), he says was with a news reporter. I asked him, "So what are you doing sitting across the table, out on a date with an artist?" He replies, "Because you have balls." I looked at him with a look of shock, he continued on, "I don't mean that to sound bad but you are bold, confident, and out-going." Oh, I was still confused considering how much he puts focus on money. He actually said, "You can't make it on less than $100,000. yearly income anymore. It's a tough world out there." He said that a lot, I think that is his coin phrase, "It's a tough world out there." He was wearing a diamond encrusted men's bracelet and a pinkie ring. Yeah, a pinkie ring. Are you serious!? This money hungry guy has plenty of it.
Okay, on to the reporter he told me about. This is the "last relationship" he had and said they broke up a month ago. He said, "It was really heart breaking for me, I thought she was the one, everything clicked, I thought I was getting closer to the American dream. She broke up with me, it was a total surprise, it took me almost a month to get over her." I asked him, how long were you together?" Much to my surprise, the way he was carrying on about her he replies, "A month, we went on two dates." "two dates?" I asked with a surprise look on my face. He said, "Yeah but we talked between those dates too." FREAK! I don't think two date consist of a relationship but he obviously does. Then I begin thinking, "Shit, this is our first date, he is already half way there!" How do you call two dates a relationship?
He is another one of those men who inhale their food. I think he swallowed half of his steak whole. "I'm sorry, I am a slow eater" I said to him as he sat with an empty plate. He said, "I think I eat fast, it is a trait from being in the military." When the waitress came back, he ordered dessert. As he ate his dessert and I tried to continue my meal, he carries on about this reporter. That is how he referred to her as "the reporter".
The date dragged on for three hours of him talking and then he says, "I have been so unsuccessful in dating. I don't understand it. It's a tough world out there." Then he continues on, "I can't understand it, I'm a great guy." Oy vey!@#$%^!@#$% The date was more like a therapy session than a date. Well, I can definitely understand it. He has a negative personality not to mention controlling.
He went on and on about money and standard of living, and blah blah blah. He said that a lot of it is peer pressure. I told him, "I think it is materialism." I said, "When people judge you according to what your income is, that is a problem. If a person looks down on you because you don't have a Movado watch, their are just..." I was stopped in the middle of my sentence by his laughter. He was laughing so hard. Which took me back because he didn't laugh through the entire date, he barely smiled.
When I looked at him in the midst of his uncontrolled laughing, he pulled up his shirt sleeve and there on his wrist was a Movado watch. I was a little mortified. I put one hand over my mouth and the other on my chest, "I am so sorry!" I apologized to him. He just continued to laugh. I smiled with embarrassment. He said, it's okay. He thought it was really funny. Thankfully.
Do you ever forget a person's name? I forgot his name, but what is worse, I didn't know I forgot his name. I was calling him by the wrong name throughout our entire date and he never corrected me. OMG! I could not believe I did that!
Sunday, February 21, 2010
A weiner dog named Prince
The date started off like any other. We had a few text conversations and a phone date before we decided to have a dinner date. In the previous contacts and conversations together, he is very polite, warm , and funny. But nothing was going to prepare me for what was to come on this particular evening.
The restaurant we decided on was Durango's, very good Mexican food. Before leaving I text him, "What are you wearing so I know who you are so I don't hit on some Mexican waiter." The man white and 6'4", there was no chance to mistake a Mexican waiter but I was making a joke. He texts me back, "We are meeting at Taco Bell right?" See, he is funny. He told me he would be wearing a bright red jacket. I was picturing a big red parka or some type of red winter jacket. Oh no, he was wearing a bright jacket that had red on it. It was a jacket that was totally 1980's windbreaker type jacket. I asked him, "What kind of a jacket is that!?" He proudly replied, "This is my Olympic jacket, I had to ski hard for this." lol It did have some type of Olympic design on the back. Oh okay, I get it, the winter Olympics are going on right now. He is trying to be in style. The jacket looked like it hadn't been in style or ironed in a number of years.
Friday night and the restaurant was jammed packed, there was only one table in the center that was a small table for two. The waiter showed us to the table then went to retrieve our water. He and I began talking and joking around. Talking about work, the typical type of things you ask and discuss while on a first date.
I asked him, "Do you have any pets?" He said, "I have a dog, he is a wiener dog." The image of this very tall robust man walking down the street with a little tiny wiener dog. The image just made me smile, I had to hold back the laughter but it was a big smile. I replied to him with a big smile that barely contained the joyous laughter behind it, "Awww, how cute, what is his name?" He said, "Prince."
The laughter exploded out of my mouth as if my lungs were an erupting volcano, first a bit slow, then it just continued to explode. I was laughing so hard, I couldn't stop, hold it back, or even breath. Oh gosh, I was laughing so hard me eyes were watering. He began to smile and laugh too, thank the Lord. "I didn't name him, my brother gave him the name. I wanted to have a large dog but my brother's dogs had puppies and they gave this one to me, he was already named Prince." he confessed.
Through bursts of laughter I tried to apologize for laughing at his dog's name mixed with it's stature. I just couldn't control it. By now, in a crowded restaurant, people were beginning to take notice. I tried my best to calm myself and stop laughing. I was afraid to eat or take a drink of water worried that I would choke if I began to laugh again. I don't think I have ever laughed so hard. Anytime I think of it, I still laugh, I am laughing now as I type this. Wow, a wiener dog name Prince.
As we tried to change the subject, mostly in an attempt to get me to stop laughing, in my mind I could hear and see The Village People sing YMCA. Which made me laugh harder. No matter what he said or we talked about, every so often I would just start giggling at the thought of his dog named Prince. By now, my inner conscious was praying that God would close the flood gates of my laughing. We were able to move on to other topics of discussion but the smile and song of YMCA was still with me.
After a wonderful dinner and enjoyment that we had had, he looks at me and says, "Let's get out of here." I was surprised because we didn't have any plans for after dinner, I asked, "Where are we going?" He said, lets go see a movie." "Okay" I responded, I was having so much fun, I really didn't want to just part after that and go home, still laughing.
We drove in separate vehicle to the movie theater. I was laughing uncontrollably, trying to get it all out before we met up again at the movie theater. We had no idea what was showing what times. As we approached the ticket counter, we asked what was beginning now and the woman behind the counter said, "When in Rome." I asked, "What is that about?" She replied, "It is a romantic comedy." My date responded, "Well, perfect." I looked at the woman and said, "Okay, sign us up." We got our tickets and found the appropriate theater and went in. We sat next to each other, we laughed at the funny parts and sometimes made our predictions what was going to happen at other parts. He was a complete gentleman. Nearing the end of the movie, he reaches over and put his arm around my arm. I asked, "What are you doing?" He boldly and honestly said, "I would have pretended to stretch to put my arm around you but I didn't need to stretch my arm." lol
The movie was really very good. Both of us had a very nice time. This a great date, better than I have had in a tremendous amount time. We walked to our vehicles that were parked next to each other. I thanked him for a wonderful time. I told him, "I really had a nice time." Then once again apologized for the uncontrollable laughter earlier in the evening. He leaned in, gave me a little kiss and we said good bye.
When I arrived home, still smiling, I started to text him telling him again what a nice time I had when I was interrupted by his text to me. lol It was a very nice date.
The restaurant we decided on was Durango's, very good Mexican food. Before leaving I text him, "What are you wearing so I know who you are so I don't hit on some Mexican waiter." The man white and 6'4", there was no chance to mistake a Mexican waiter but I was making a joke. He texts me back, "We are meeting at Taco Bell right?" See, he is funny. He told me he would be wearing a bright red jacket. I was picturing a big red parka or some type of red winter jacket. Oh no, he was wearing a bright jacket that had red on it. It was a jacket that was totally 1980's windbreaker type jacket. I asked him, "What kind of a jacket is that!?" He proudly replied, "This is my Olympic jacket, I had to ski hard for this." lol It did have some type of Olympic design on the back. Oh okay, I get it, the winter Olympics are going on right now. He is trying to be in style. The jacket looked like it hadn't been in style or ironed in a number of years.
Friday night and the restaurant was jammed packed, there was only one table in the center that was a small table for two. The waiter showed us to the table then went to retrieve our water. He and I began talking and joking around. Talking about work, the typical type of things you ask and discuss while on a first date.
I asked him, "Do you have any pets?" He said, "I have a dog, he is a wiener dog." The image of this very tall robust man walking down the street with a little tiny wiener dog. The image just made me smile, I had to hold back the laughter but it was a big smile. I replied to him with a big smile that barely contained the joyous laughter behind it, "Awww, how cute, what is his name?" He said, "Prince."
The laughter exploded out of my mouth as if my lungs were an erupting volcano, first a bit slow, then it just continued to explode. I was laughing so hard, I couldn't stop, hold it back, or even breath. Oh gosh, I was laughing so hard me eyes were watering. He began to smile and laugh too, thank the Lord. "I didn't name him, my brother gave him the name. I wanted to have a large dog but my brother's dogs had puppies and they gave this one to me, he was already named Prince." he confessed.
Through bursts of laughter I tried to apologize for laughing at his dog's name mixed with it's stature. I just couldn't control it. By now, in a crowded restaurant, people were beginning to take notice. I tried my best to calm myself and stop laughing. I was afraid to eat or take a drink of water worried that I would choke if I began to laugh again. I don't think I have ever laughed so hard. Anytime I think of it, I still laugh, I am laughing now as I type this. Wow, a wiener dog name Prince.
As we tried to change the subject, mostly in an attempt to get me to stop laughing, in my mind I could hear and see The Village People sing YMCA. Which made me laugh harder. No matter what he said or we talked about, every so often I would just start giggling at the thought of his dog named Prince. By now, my inner conscious was praying that God would close the flood gates of my laughing. We were able to move on to other topics of discussion but the smile and song of YMCA was still with me.
After a wonderful dinner and enjoyment that we had had, he looks at me and says, "Let's get out of here." I was surprised because we didn't have any plans for after dinner, I asked, "Where are we going?" He said, lets go see a movie." "Okay" I responded, I was having so much fun, I really didn't want to just part after that and go home, still laughing.
We drove in separate vehicle to the movie theater. I was laughing uncontrollably, trying to get it all out before we met up again at the movie theater. We had no idea what was showing what times. As we approached the ticket counter, we asked what was beginning now and the woman behind the counter said, "When in Rome." I asked, "What is that about?" She replied, "It is a romantic comedy." My date responded, "Well, perfect." I looked at the woman and said, "Okay, sign us up." We got our tickets and found the appropriate theater and went in. We sat next to each other, we laughed at the funny parts and sometimes made our predictions what was going to happen at other parts. He was a complete gentleman. Nearing the end of the movie, he reaches over and put his arm around my arm. I asked, "What are you doing?" He boldly and honestly said, "I would have pretended to stretch to put my arm around you but I didn't need to stretch my arm." lol
The movie was really very good. Both of us had a very nice time. This a great date, better than I have had in a tremendous amount time. We walked to our vehicles that were parked next to each other. I thanked him for a wonderful time. I told him, "I really had a nice time." Then once again apologized for the uncontrollable laughter earlier in the evening. He leaned in, gave me a little kiss and we said good bye.
When I arrived home, still smiling, I started to text him telling him again what a nice time I had when I was interrupted by his text to me. lol It was a very nice date.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Laptop legacy
Theresa and I went shopping for a laptop. She is a computer genius and whiz, the things she can do on a computer I don't even think they have invented yet. First we met at a popular chain store that doesn't open until 10:00 (you know who you are). Damn computer geeks sleep in. We looked there, didn't really find anything interesting but we did find a laptop that would do. Of course, they didn't have it in stock.
We went across the way to a popular chain department store that is open 24 hours. Our true intentions were to find a laptop but you know what they say, even the best intentions can lead you astray. We found something even more interesting than any laptop they make. As we looked, grouped, and slid our hand across many shiny new laptop computers we found one that would be just right. We turned to look for an assistant to help us purchase the computer. A small group of people were standing at the electronics desk in casual or civilian clothes. One remarkable handsome man with short salt and pepper hair, tall, clean cut, and wearing a black leather Harley jacket began walking toward us. In my mind, I completely forgot about the computer was instantly transformed into a twenty-something year old.
"Can I help you? I work here." he said as he flashed is name tag from an unidentified pocket. Theresa and I just looked at each other as if we hit the mother load, or should I say the father load. "Yes", I said as I tilted my head to the side, "I am interested in purchasing this laptop right here." Then my hand glided over the computer once again. He turned around and as that action occurred, Theresa and I rubber necked to see the view from the back. Wow, he had a great ass! We just smiled at each other knowing both of us were thinking the same thing. As he walked a way in his Black leather Harley jacket, nice fitting jeans, and black boots, my spine jumped out of my body and I practically slid to the floor. Theresa said, "There you go." I replied with a big smile, "Yeah, so who is going to ask if he is single?"
When he arrived back to where we were standing with our heads in the clouds and our minds in the gutter, he continued to help us with the computer. I knew I had a small but distinct window of opportunity here. "So, are you from here?", I asked realizing, what a complete original line. I wasn't thinking clearly, he also had gorgeous eyes and a great smile. "I actually live in town. I used to travel a lot with my job but now I don't have to travel any more." he replied ever so politely. Trying to see if he had an other half, family, kids, (he didn't have a wedding ring on), I asked, "What are you going to do with all of that free time?" I asked. Expecting him to say spending it with kids, etc. He smiled and with a small chuckle said, "Find a second job to pay for my second Harley I just bought." I turned to Theresa, "Second Harley? That means he is single because if he was married, a wife wouldn't let him buy a second Harley."
"If you are buying a second Harley, you must be single?" I boldly asked him with an inquisitive smile on my face. "Actually..." he began, "I am engaged. I am getting married in a few months." "Congratulations." I said. "Oh damn it!" is what I was thinking.
I looked at Theresa who now also had a disappointed look on her face, disappointed for me that is and I said quietly, "You know after he gets married, that second Harley is going." We giggled, "Yeah, " she said, "That is why he is getting it now before he gets married."
He helped us get the laptop and we thanked him for his help. The laptop that we were so excited about getting now seemed like a consolation prize. As we were leaving the store we continued talking and smiling. Theresa began to say something, "Maybe we'll see him..." something, something, I couldn't understand the rest of the sentence because I began laughing. She looked at me wondering what was so funny. I said to her, "You said semen!" we both laughed then it was time for me to return back to my true age. I told her, "You know, he could have sold me anything." we both just smiled.
***
We went across the way to a popular chain department store that is open 24 hours. Our true intentions were to find a laptop but you know what they say, even the best intentions can lead you astray. We found something even more interesting than any laptop they make. As we looked, grouped, and slid our hand across many shiny new laptop computers we found one that would be just right. We turned to look for an assistant to help us purchase the computer. A small group of people were standing at the electronics desk in casual or civilian clothes. One remarkable handsome man with short salt and pepper hair, tall, clean cut, and wearing a black leather Harley jacket began walking toward us. In my mind, I completely forgot about the computer was instantly transformed into a twenty-something year old.
"Can I help you? I work here." he said as he flashed is name tag from an unidentified pocket. Theresa and I just looked at each other as if we hit the mother load, or should I say the father load. "Yes", I said as I tilted my head to the side, "I am interested in purchasing this laptop right here." Then my hand glided over the computer once again. He turned around and as that action occurred, Theresa and I rubber necked to see the view from the back. Wow, he had a great ass! We just smiled at each other knowing both of us were thinking the same thing. As he walked a way in his Black leather Harley jacket, nice fitting jeans, and black boots, my spine jumped out of my body and I practically slid to the floor. Theresa said, "There you go." I replied with a big smile, "Yeah, so who is going to ask if he is single?"
When he arrived back to where we were standing with our heads in the clouds and our minds in the gutter, he continued to help us with the computer. I knew I had a small but distinct window of opportunity here. "So, are you from here?", I asked realizing, what a complete original line. I wasn't thinking clearly, he also had gorgeous eyes and a great smile. "I actually live in town. I used to travel a lot with my job but now I don't have to travel any more." he replied ever so politely. Trying to see if he had an other half, family, kids, (he didn't have a wedding ring on), I asked, "What are you going to do with all of that free time?" I asked. Expecting him to say spending it with kids, etc. He smiled and with a small chuckle said, "Find a second job to pay for my second Harley I just bought." I turned to Theresa, "Second Harley? That means he is single because if he was married, a wife wouldn't let him buy a second Harley."
"If you are buying a second Harley, you must be single?" I boldly asked him with an inquisitive smile on my face. "Actually..." he began, "I am engaged. I am getting married in a few months." "Congratulations." I said. "Oh damn it!" is what I was thinking.
I looked at Theresa who now also had a disappointed look on her face, disappointed for me that is and I said quietly, "You know after he gets married, that second Harley is going." We giggled, "Yeah, " she said, "That is why he is getting it now before he gets married."
He helped us get the laptop and we thanked him for his help. The laptop that we were so excited about getting now seemed like a consolation prize. As we were leaving the store we continued talking and smiling. Theresa began to say something, "Maybe we'll see him..." something, something, I couldn't understand the rest of the sentence because I began laughing. She looked at me wondering what was so funny. I said to her, "You said semen!" we both laughed then it was time for me to return back to my true age. I told her, "You know, he could have sold me anything." we both just smiled.
***
Friday, February 19, 2010
Boom on the phone
Boom, boom, boom! The sound on the phone was boom, boom, boom. I wasn't sure if it was a base drum or a man talking in a low voice. I adjusted my hearing aid. Ah, there is is a man with a very low voice; it boomed through the receiver of the phone.
A phone date with a guy from a large city, like me but now lives in a smaller city, again, like me. We told each other some of our sorted tales of dating. I would say that we have had some equally bad dates. So it was reassuring that I wasn't the only one running into road blocks on the road of dating. I am starting to think that it is a one way street with a lot of pot holes. lol What does that say about me? Maybe I am a vagabond on the streets of love.
He is an ex-Marine. I dated a couple of Marines, their not too bright and both of the ones I dated cheated on me. Neither were serious relationships but still it is pretty shitty to cheat on someone. Don't worry, I won't take it out on this guy. This one seems nice. He talks a lot though, that's fine, then I don't have to say anything but it is hard to pay attention when they don't stop for a breath of air.
We set up a date for Saturday. He is taking me to one of his favorite restaurants. The first choice he offered was a restaurant that I really don't like, they have terrible food. Do you remember the blog, Blue Roof and bad credit. That is the place he wanted me to go to. I told him I really don't like that place, they have terrible food. Yuck! Everything taste so bland. Then he suggested his second favorite where I have never been so, I accepted. I guess we will see how we get along.
A phone date with a guy from a large city, like me but now lives in a smaller city, again, like me. We told each other some of our sorted tales of dating. I would say that we have had some equally bad dates. So it was reassuring that I wasn't the only one running into road blocks on the road of dating. I am starting to think that it is a one way street with a lot of pot holes. lol What does that say about me? Maybe I am a vagabond on the streets of love.
He is an ex-Marine. I dated a couple of Marines, their not too bright and both of the ones I dated cheated on me. Neither were serious relationships but still it is pretty shitty to cheat on someone. Don't worry, I won't take it out on this guy. This one seems nice. He talks a lot though, that's fine, then I don't have to say anything but it is hard to pay attention when they don't stop for a breath of air.
We set up a date for Saturday. He is taking me to one of his favorite restaurants. The first choice he offered was a restaurant that I really don't like, they have terrible food. Do you remember the blog, Blue Roof and bad credit. That is the place he wanted me to go to. I told him I really don't like that place, they have terrible food. Yuck! Everything taste so bland. Then he suggested his second favorite where I have never been so, I accepted. I guess we will see how we get along.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Head over heels
Head over heels or should I say heels over head. A lunch date was set up with a man I met through a local dating site. The day before the date he text my cell phone and says he is in the emergency room because he slipped on a patch of ice and has been hurt. Therefore he must cancel our date for the next day. Ummm, okay, not sure if I buy that but okay. Before I get a chance to respond to his text, he sends another saying, "It is true, I am not saying that to get out of our date, I really want to see you. I will even show you documented proof from the doctor."
Jokingly I respond to him, "You haven't even met me yet and you're already falling for me." He responded in another text, (I am assuming in much pain), "Head over heels." Wow, poor guy. He told me that he felt bad and that he appreciates me not just saying "Oh well...forget it." and stop talking with him and "cutting him loose". I told him "My goodness, no. These things happen. I will meet you first before I decide to 'cut you loose' or maybe you will 'cut me loose'." I think it was a fishing term, "cutting loose". I don't think I will ever be "hip" enough to know the fishing language or lingo. lol
I went to see him the day before his surgery, it was the least I could do. Poor guy, can hardly sit, stand, has to use crutches. I can't believe in all of that pain he was still asking to see me. He seems nice though. It was a short visit, most of the time we talked about baseball. He knows I am a Yankee fan, he is a Brewers fan, poor guy, it must have been that bump on the head from his fall. Although, he does have season diamond box seats at the Brewers. You gotta appreciate that.
Jokingly I respond to him, "You haven't even met me yet and you're already falling for me." He responded in another text, (I am assuming in much pain), "Head over heels." Wow, poor guy. He told me that he felt bad and that he appreciates me not just saying "Oh well...forget it." and stop talking with him and "cutting him loose". I told him "My goodness, no. These things happen. I will meet you first before I decide to 'cut you loose' or maybe you will 'cut me loose'." I think it was a fishing term, "cutting loose". I don't think I will ever be "hip" enough to know the fishing language or lingo. lol
I went to see him the day before his surgery, it was the least I could do. Poor guy, can hardly sit, stand, has to use crutches. I can't believe in all of that pain he was still asking to see me. He seems nice though. It was a short visit, most of the time we talked about baseball. He knows I am a Yankee fan, he is a Brewers fan, poor guy, it must have been that bump on the head from his fall. Although, he does have season diamond box seats at the Brewers. You gotta appreciate that.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Velcro
Velcro, that is what this guy was like. This weekend I met a guy at a pub. We decided to meet there because it is a public place and he likes pubs I guess. He showed up in his striped button down shirt and plaid flannel coat. Terrible.
Anyway, we started by talking and having a drink. Before I know it his bar stool is getting closer and closer to mine. Then his knee is touching mine and I am thinking, "Is this guy going to pee on my leg or something?" I try to be casual and move back when I thought he wasn't looking. Suddenly his hand goes to my shoulder to make a statement as he is talking. Before you know it, his hand is on my leg. I politely excused myself to the ladies room. It is the only thing I could think of fast just to move.
When I came back I moved my bar stool away from him a bit so they weren't right next to each other. He was talking to the bar keeper. I couldn't hear what they were talking about very well but all of a sudden, he says, "This is my girlfriend." Whoa, don't jump the gun buddy, especially before it is out of the case. I just shook my head no and told the barkeeper we just met tonight. The keeper looked at me and gave me that all telling look like he has seen this before.
He kept bragging about how much he can drink and telling retched stories about events that occurred while he was drunk, some he did remember and some he didn't. I couldn't help but ask myself, "What is this guy thinking and why is he telling me this?" My mind began to wonder, how did I meet this person and end up on a date with him in the first place?
The guy just keeps putting his hand on me and his arm around me, trying to stare in my eyes and smile. These things are cute if you have been dating someone for a while but if you just met the person, I gotta tell you, it's creepy. I'm telling you this guy was like Velcro, static cling or something. One thing I did notice, he doesn't brush his teeth nearly enough. I'm telling Santa that this guy needs a case of Colgate for Christmas.
If it was just him and me in the pub, it would have been crowded. I wanted to crawl out of the cesspool that is his personality. No one likes a bar fly. He was like a bar squid with arms and tentacles all over, all over me. Yuck! I jumped up animatedly and stated, "I just remembered that I have to do something in the morning!" I thanked him for the drinks and apologized I could not stay. I practically galloped to the door before he had a chance to let it register in his lumpy head that I was leaving.
My mini van was shimmering in the moon light, I was happy to be driving away from that train wreck waiting to happen. Good thing I never gave him my number, that I would have regretted.
Anyway, we started by talking and having a drink. Before I know it his bar stool is getting closer and closer to mine. Then his knee is touching mine and I am thinking, "Is this guy going to pee on my leg or something?" I try to be casual and move back when I thought he wasn't looking. Suddenly his hand goes to my shoulder to make a statement as he is talking. Before you know it, his hand is on my leg. I politely excused myself to the ladies room. It is the only thing I could think of fast just to move.
When I came back I moved my bar stool away from him a bit so they weren't right next to each other. He was talking to the bar keeper. I couldn't hear what they were talking about very well but all of a sudden, he says, "This is my girlfriend." Whoa, don't jump the gun buddy, especially before it is out of the case. I just shook my head no and told the barkeeper we just met tonight. The keeper looked at me and gave me that all telling look like he has seen this before.
He kept bragging about how much he can drink and telling retched stories about events that occurred while he was drunk, some he did remember and some he didn't. I couldn't help but ask myself, "What is this guy thinking and why is he telling me this?" My mind began to wonder, how did I meet this person and end up on a date with him in the first place?
The guy just keeps putting his hand on me and his arm around me, trying to stare in my eyes and smile. These things are cute if you have been dating someone for a while but if you just met the person, I gotta tell you, it's creepy. I'm telling you this guy was like Velcro, static cling or something. One thing I did notice, he doesn't brush his teeth nearly enough. I'm telling Santa that this guy needs a case of Colgate for Christmas.
If it was just him and me in the pub, it would have been crowded. I wanted to crawl out of the cesspool that is his personality. No one likes a bar fly. He was like a bar squid with arms and tentacles all over, all over me. Yuck! I jumped up animatedly and stated, "I just remembered that I have to do something in the morning!" I thanked him for the drinks and apologized I could not stay. I practically galloped to the door before he had a chance to let it register in his lumpy head that I was leaving.
My mini van was shimmering in the moon light, I was happy to be driving away from that train wreck waiting to happen. Good thing I never gave him my number, that I would have regretted.
Date or interview?
This date I was on seemed more like an interview. He asked so many question. "Are you writing a book?" I had to ask him. Which he replied no. We didn't have much for conversation, just questions back and forth, no discussing the questions or answers that accompanied them. I can't even remember most of the questions let alone the answers. It was not a comfortable date. Good thing it wasn't dinner, it would have gone on forever. How could I possibly have dinner with someone if I can't even have a conversation with them?
Sunday, February 14, 2010
What is typical?
With all of the dates that occur everyday in the world, you would expect some type of routine to them. Other than the dinner and a movie, there really is no routine. I am also starting to realize that typical is only a minimal expression. As you have read in my blogs, nothing seems to be typical. These men are all uniquely freaks in their own right.
I have encountered, red neck to white color, black, white, Hispanic, India, Native American and who knows what else. Everything from unemployed to mortician. I am afraid to ask what else could be out there. I enjoy the interesting and cultured. I could skip the hunting and fishing. But it seems the sane, well educated, and honest men elude me. Have they all been stranded on a desert island somewhere in the Pacific ocean?
Gilligan was a cutie but was hit on the head with a few coconuts too many. One thing I never understood about "Gilligan's Island" was that it was intended to be a "three hour tour" but the people who lived on the S.S. Minnow, Gilligan and the Skipper, didn't have any other clothes but the guests, Ginger, Mary Ann, and the Howls all had tons of clothes that were always perfectly pressed. The Professor, he didn't have any clothes either but that would actually make since.
You would think that with all of the skill it took to build the huts with hammocks and the little village they had going on their with the performance stage and everything that they could have built another boat of at least a raft. Funny how strange and unique people always seemed to show up on the island but yet they were never rescued. That's it, maybe I am on Gilligan's Island and just seem to keep bumping into the freaks and weirdos that wash up on shore. I wouldn't mind dating the professor though. What was his name anyway?
I have encountered, red neck to white color, black, white, Hispanic, India, Native American and who knows what else. Everything from unemployed to mortician. I am afraid to ask what else could be out there. I enjoy the interesting and cultured. I could skip the hunting and fishing. But it seems the sane, well educated, and honest men elude me. Have they all been stranded on a desert island somewhere in the Pacific ocean?
Gilligan was a cutie but was hit on the head with a few coconuts too many. One thing I never understood about "Gilligan's Island" was that it was intended to be a "three hour tour" but the people who lived on the S.S. Minnow, Gilligan and the Skipper, didn't have any other clothes but the guests, Ginger, Mary Ann, and the Howls all had tons of clothes that were always perfectly pressed. The Professor, he didn't have any clothes either but that would actually make since.
You would think that with all of the skill it took to build the huts with hammocks and the little village they had going on their with the performance stage and everything that they could have built another boat of at least a raft. Funny how strange and unique people always seemed to show up on the island but yet they were never rescued. That's it, maybe I am on Gilligan's Island and just seem to keep bumping into the freaks and weirdos that wash up on shore. I wouldn't mind dating the professor though. What was his name anyway?
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Phone date with a youngin'
I was on a phone date with a young guy who lives about two hours from here. He wanted to go on a date the very next day but I told him that I have school. Then he was hinting around saying, "If I drive that far to come and see you, it would be hard for me to turn around and come back if it were only a short date. We could spend the entire day together but if it got late, I wouldn't want to drive back home." Uh huh, I know what he is hinting at. I told him, "Then I think a better idea is that you come here on Saturday and we can have a lunch date together. Then you don't have to drive home in the dark. You will have plenty of time."
Then he went into the "Do you have a roommate?" question. I don't even know this guy and he is already trying to get into my bed. What is it with these guys from India? I'm not familiar with the India culture. Do they just jump in bed with each other the first time they meet? Oh yeah, this one is from India, reminds me of the other phone date I had with a guy from India. (See "Is That A Snickers Bar in my Pocket" blog). This one is young, 28 years old. It seems too young for me.
You know I had to ask if he has his paper work, if he is a citizen or had his green card and guess what, he doesn't. So this is going to be the only date I go on with him. I am never going to fall into that trap again. I am still trying to overcome the drama and heart ache from the last foreigner that was looking for a way. People you have to be careful. Unfortunately, in the world we live in today we have to consider the bad intentions of others. Stay safe in everything you do.
UPDATE:
I decided to cancel the date with this one because later when talking on the phone, he still hinted about staying the night. If he is like that on the phone, I don't want to a bad situation. The issue with the government also made me feel uncomfortable so this one I am leaving under a log.
Then he went into the "Do you have a roommate?" question. I don't even know this guy and he is already trying to get into my bed. What is it with these guys from India? I'm not familiar with the India culture. Do they just jump in bed with each other the first time they meet? Oh yeah, this one is from India, reminds me of the other phone date I had with a guy from India. (See "Is That A Snickers Bar in my Pocket" blog). This one is young, 28 years old. It seems too young for me.
You know I had to ask if he has his paper work, if he is a citizen or had his green card and guess what, he doesn't. So this is going to be the only date I go on with him. I am never going to fall into that trap again. I am still trying to overcome the drama and heart ache from the last foreigner that was looking for a way. People you have to be careful. Unfortunately, in the world we live in today we have to consider the bad intentions of others. Stay safe in everything you do.
UPDATE:
I decided to cancel the date with this one because later when talking on the phone, he still hinted about staying the night. If he is like that on the phone, I don't want to a bad situation. The issue with the government also made me feel uncomfortable so this one I am leaving under a log.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
