On the phone with the bowling pin-head getting the updates on his bowling scores and life in the bowling fast-lane. What is going on in the bowling world you ask? I don't know but if I gave a shit, I would definitely give it to this guy.
As I was talking on the phone, I looked up at the ceiling and low and be hold, a frickin' spider was sitting in the corner about five feet from me. I think it saw me looking at it too because it looked right at me. Damn it! I am thinking to myself, "RUN!" But I was on the phone with bowling guy. I had to have a phone date with him because he has been sending me so many emails. A sane woman can only handle so many emails of bowling up-dates, in fact, they were starting to make me insane. :p
I said to bowling boy, "Oh my gosh! There is a spider right on the wall!!!! I hate spiders!" Then you know as soon as I mentioned out loud the spider's presence was no longer a secret, that little bastard started running. That thing was running so fast like it was running on eight legs or something. I screamed, dropped the phone. Picked it up, jumped back, told bowling boy to hold on. I put the phone down and got a shoe. Not one of my high heels either, I learned from the last time. I went into the hallway outside of my apartment and got the biggest shoe I could find. I didn't care who's it was either. I came back and what do you know, it was hiding. Great! Now I am looking all over for it.
I picked up the phone and gave him the update of the imposing spider. Then my hair must have moved a little bit; I felt something tickle on my hand that I was using to hold the phone. I jumped, let out a little panicked scream, threw the phone down and neurotically brushed off my hands and arms, shook out my shirt, and tousled my hair with my head upside down to make sure the spider was not on me. Then I saw it on the wall. Okay so maybe I panicked just a little bit but you didn't see that spider!
I picked up the worn out shoe. I was apprehensive but determined. The spider was still for a moment but my mind was racing and the shoe was getting heavy. I was worried about my aim. I was now standing only two feet from the spotted speed demon. It was so arrogant, it took off. I jumped into action, I jumped back and stared talking to my self, "I can do this, I can do this." Now it was running down the wall so close I could SMACK it. Here goes, SMACK! Oh crap, I missed it and now it's gone. Ugh, why does this always happen to me??? Oh my gosh, it was hanging from the shoe by its web. I screamed again, hit it against the wall and it fell to the floor. It was still moving but not much, it was defiantly still alive but wounded, or so it wanted me to think. It probably was going to wait until I got close then jump up and say. "Gotcha!" I didn't give it the chance, I reached down and with all my might, I smashed that spider into the middle of next week! Then I returned the big over sized shoe to the hallway with the spider still attached. Wasn't my shoe! I certainly wasn't going to have a funeral for the spider.
I came back into my apartment and there on the desk was the phone. Ooops! I guess I forgot about that one little ever so tiny detail. I picked up the phone and brought it to my ear where I could hear tears of laughter. He was laughing so hard. I said with a coy voice, "I got it." He just continued to laugh as he asked, "All of that for a spider?!" I still had goose bumps from the whole ordeal. He had tears in his eyes he was laughing so hard. I definitely need to date someone who is better at handling situations like these. Any single exterminators out there?
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