The race card

Wow, I am so tired of people playing the "race card" and now it seems worse now that Obama is in the White House. Okay, so I am on this Internet date with this really cute guy who happens to be black. We are doing the question and answer thing and out of no where he calls me a raciest because I like Nelson Mandela.

Are you kidding me???? ME? A raciest??? I was so pissed off! How does anyone get the idea of racism if I like Nelson Mandela. I told this guy that Nelson Mandela is an amazing person who has had a great impact on the world. Wow, anyone who knows me or has met me knows that I of all people am NOT a racist. And for those of you who do not know me, my ex-husband is black, a true African, my son was half black. Give me a break! I can understand if I said something that was negative about black people, like um... why do they like to always play the "race card".

IS THERE ANYONE NORMAL OUT THERE??????

I hate it when people make rash assumptions that are not only incorrect, but completely inappropriate. Yeah, I try to tell you all of the funny and weird things that happen on dates, but please, let this blog post bring some awareness to people of all colors and nations. Don't be so fast to judge a person when you have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.

This guy would have done better if he talked about fishing but then he probably would have said that I was a spaciest because I don't like fishing. I would like to throw that guy in the lake though. It just irritates me so much!

UPDATE:
We talked a bit more through emails and apologized and things seem worked out. He called me at home. Everything was just a misundersatdning obviously. Anyway, we did have a phone date this evening. Nice voice, he seems a bit full of himself but dating is strange, you have to put your best forward first I guess it can make you be perseved as full of yourself. We talked on the phone date 1 1/2 hours. I am not sure what I think of him just yet but we did arrange a date. So I guess I will know more when I met him. Here comes the judge... LOL

If you give a woman a fish...

If you take a woman out for fish, she will stay for the whole date. If you tell her how to fish, she will stay away forever.

To fish or not to fish? That is the question!

You fish, there for I am not dating you.

It is all fun and games until somebody gets a fish in the eye.

Hey, is that a fish in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Love is blind but a fishing story is a "reel" eye opener.

Now that's a fish of a different color.

Never judge a fish by the paper it is wrapped in?

Mommy Dearest

Mostly I am almost sure of what I am looking for in a man. However, that list or personal ideas tend to flex as time moves forward. So much does also flex the list of things I definitely do not want in a man. Men, I still never can understand them. Personally, I don't think they understand themselves either.

Take for example the date I went on this evening. A sweet guy so it would seem, has respect and admiration for his mother. You can tell a lot about a guy in the way he thinks of his mother. In this case, you can also tell a lot about his mother. He talked about her of what an influence she has been on him and that was nice and reassuring that he would be a good date and a strong man with values and respect for women. He continued to talk about her, for quite some time. Even telling me that she planned most of his previous wedding, right down to the colors, order of the wedding party, and the cuff links. WHOA! Let me guess, she probably also planned most of his divorce.

CONTROLLING MOTHER ALERT!!! ERR...ERRR...ERR... CONTROLLING MOTHER ALERT!!! ERR...ERRR...ERR... CAUTION! DO NOT STEP ON UMBILICAL CORD!!! PLEASE BE CAUTIOUS. FOR ELECTRIC SHOCK APRON STRINGS!!! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
CAUTION! CAUTION! CAUTION!

To help change the subject that now had me searching for the fastest escape route out of there, I asked him about himself. What man doesn't like to talk about himself? "Where do you work?" I asked him. "I work at ------. I have been there about five years." Cool, I like a guy with a job. "Do you like working there?" I asked. He responded, "Yeah, I mean it is okay. Not what I was planning to do but my mom works there too. She helped me get the job there. We car pool to work and it helps save on gas and usage for my car."

HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM!
DANGER WILL ROBINSON! DANGER!

Okay, this is getting to be too much. A woman can only handle a guy talking about his mother for so long. I however, didn't see that changing anytime soon. I ran through different topic ideas through my mind to discuss that would leave out the interruption of his memories on nursing but I couldn't come up with anything. The traditional fall back questions for dating leave a lot of room for an intrusive mother even if she is not there.

Where are you from?
What was it like growing up?
Who influences you the most?
What are your plans for the next few years?
What do you enjoy doing in your free time?
What is your favorite food / meal?

Wow, all of those could easily end up with him discussing more of his mother. He even told me that nameof the town she was born in. Do I need to know that for anything in my life? My skin was beginning to crawl and I began to worry if his mother would soon arrive at the restaurant we were in. Or worse! Maybe she was already there? Watching us? I have no idea what she looks like. CREEPY! I asked him what his last name is and much to my relief it is not Bates. Part of me was afraid to ask him what his favorite movie is.

Ah ha, I had the perfect idea, I would fake an illness that I was not feeling well at the same time hoping his mother is not a nurse. Since she works with him, I can safely assume she is not. I pretended to begin not feeling well. As he looked around for a waitress, I discreetly dipped my finger tips into my water glass and gently dabbed my fingers on my forehead to simulate sweating while at the same time licked my palms to give them the feeling of clamminess. I realize it is a bit childish, but look who I am dealing with. I didn't want to make him suspicious or upset him but I wanted to get out of there. His obsession with his mother and one can only assume that it is a mutual obsession, the situation was really was getting weird. I thanked him for his time and apologized I would not be able to stay for dinner, then excused myself from the table and bee lined it for the door. In the parking lot I looked through the window to see if he stayed in the restaurant or left same as I did. Thankfully, he was still there. Trying to take care of things with the waitress no doubt.

Proverbial Pandora's Box

It seems that I have opened the proverbial Pandora's box. And no, I do not know any women named Pandora! That is not the box I am talking about. Shame on you for thinking that and making me explain it! You guys are a bunch of perverts! It it just like the first few times I looked at a Playgirl Magazine. I looked at it several times because I can't believe they would have the audacity to publish such artistic beauty of a man's perfectly.....tanned and toned skin with.......rippling stomach and pectoral muscles. His strong body in perfect posture as he draped his sweaty, shimmering body across the bed with red satin sheets. Biceps bulging and perfectly shaved underarms. You can just imagine the feel of the strong firm loins in the dark and the rough.....uh...ummm,.....sorry, I got side tracked. What was I saying? oh yeah! I remember, I have been canceling dates (sorry guys) because my last year of school is really a lot of work and I have four art exhibits coming up in the next couple of months.

You are right, that alone isn't enough to make me cancel dates but it is a lot of work. I have to give them a good excuse that they will believe. Two men continue to tell me what great husbands they would be and one actually asked me to marry him. OUY! (That is French for headache, I think.) One is too old, the other is too young. Then there is another that doesn't stop calling and emailing, and instant messaging, and commenting, and twittering, and face booking, and internet 'smiling'. SHIT! What the hell happened to the 1980's when you could just send a friend over to tell them you don't want to see him again.

However, I have received very good advice from a close confidant who is always there to help us with our man trouble. Am I right Vicky? Theresa suggested that I very politely tell him that I was "dating exclusively". I said, "I can't say that, it would be a lie." Then my creative and slightly sinister sweet friend added, "exclusively dating everyone except him". Ahhhh... She is clever. You develop that type of cleverness and exquisite witt after being married for a while.

Do to the excessive amount of work for my classes and getting ready for these gallery shows, I have been kind of busy. Men for some reason expect you to be available to them anytime at a moments notice. Don't get me wrong, I am looking for a great guy that both of us feel the same way about each other. Buuuuttttttt, some how, I am just not finding it right now. Which is fine for me because it gives me time to focus on school and continue to meet new people, some interesting, and some not so interesting. That is the reason I have backed down a bit on the 'dating lifestyle', it becomes a lot of work when you are going on three and four dates a week, and trying to keep all of them straight. A couple of times I made a few mistakes. I have a terrible memory. I should put my dance card on power book these days. So for my own sanity, I am limiting it down to one or two dates a week. That is why you haven't seen me blog recently. But I will try to do better at keeping you informed.

Canadian on FIRE!

Working in an Art Museum often has great benefits but besides the obvious, sometime the nice things to look at aren't always on the walls. Sometime, they come walking through the doors. Today was one of those special events when what walked passed was more intriguing to look at than what stares at you from high off the walls.

With a French accent, he road his motorcycle directly from Montreal Canada. I parked behind it wondering how the mysterious black machine made its way from Quebec, by wheels or wings. He walked with confidence and magnetic attraction. His very shapely gluteus maximus made its presence known through the Khaki cargo shorts that made me smile and my eyes splurge. I wondered how long I should allow him to look at the art on the walls before it would be almost appropriate for me to interrupt with my impervious intentions to learn more about him. Okay, I think twenty minutes would be acceptable.

All I know so far is that he is from Canada (and that's not too impressive), he rides a motor cycle, and he likes jazz music. Okay, I can work with those things for my intention. He was looking at a photo of Frida Kahlo. I slowly approached him looking at the art photo, "Frida Kahlo, are you a fan of her work?" I asked. Quietly he said, "Yes." We talked briefly about why he was here in Oshkosh and he wanted to see the Packers play, blah, blah, blah, he said something after that. Kinda lost him when the Packers were mentioned. Then, remembering he likes jazz music, I by coincidence, mention to him that there is a jazz band playing tonight at one of the pubs down town. "Oh, that sound interesting." He said looking me in the eyes on my face that refused to stop pouring over him. He asked the details of the time and place. After I gave it to him, he smiled and said, "Maybe we can just meet there." Oh yeah! Hook, line, and sinker!

Later that evening at the pub, we met up and I was ready for a dream tryst but instead, I got a surprise, not a dream tryst. Just exactly the opposite of what I was hoping for. PISSER!
Sometimes you go for the looks and sexual attraction of a person only to be disappointed by the fact their personality sucks. Not to mention that he did not converse well. Normally a conversation has a sender and a receiver where they each take turns in the action. Not in this case. I started the conversation, Me: "How has your journey been?" Him: "Fine, saw some interesting things" Me: "Where do you work?" Him: "I'm a fire fighter." My mind: oohhh Sexy!
Me: "Do you like doing that for work?" Him: "Yes." Me: Have you been in Montreal your whole life?" Him: "Yes." LA DAH DEE DAH DEE DEE DE DAH..... That is about how the conversation went. I gave up on trying to talk with him and pretended to listen to the music. But really I was undressing him in my mind. Then I dressed him up in his fire fighter uniform, then undressed him again, and again, and again, and again, and again..........

Blind mime

The lunch date has got to be my favorite because sometimes I can't get away from these guys fast enough. I was set up on another blind date... UGH! Why do I torture myself? Is there a Mr. Right out there or is he already married to my nemesis? Perhaps, he is merely a figment of my imagination of a possibility that I have only painted about.

I have come to the conclusion how 'blind date' has earned the name. How you ask? Because some of them, I would rather gouge my eyes out than go on a date with them let alone be seen with them. Too bad everyone else wasn't blind! A man of short stature and clearly out of my age range. Walks into a bar; okay, this sounds like beginning of a joke, actually, it is the beginning of a date that was a joke. A guy walks into a bar. I see him right away from the imagination in my head that has been added to the description that was given to me. Good thing I didn't have high expectations. Or any expectations.

After the hostess seated us at the table he just smiled at me and said, "So..." I looked at him with a half smile on my face and eyebrows raised, expecting him to say something more than 'so'. After a long pause, I asked him, "So... What?" He didn't say anything more. Okay great, I am on a date with a mime! Picking up the menu and looking at it I hoped to distract myself and pretend I was somewhere more exciting, maybe a mid-term at school, or getting blood drawn, taking out the garbage. Oh, back to the date. "So... what are you going to order?" He asks finally finishing the sentence he began five minutes ago. "I will have the chicken sandwich with french onion soup." I reply in a confident tone. The shy guy remains silent looking at me. Okay, I will go through the formality of asking if it pleases him, "What will you be having?" I ask him. "I'm not sure, I was thinking of the steak sandwich but maybe I will have what you are having." That was his reply. I ask "Why? If you already know what you are having, why would you change it?" "I don't know, it sound s good." He says. "Well, get what ever you want, I am sure everything is good." Everything but this date that is.

Ahh, the waitress finally arrives. She takes my order than his. No surprise he ordered the same as me but, he does change his mind on the sandwich and ordered the steak sandwich. When the soup arrived, he dug through it with his spoon like a tribal warrior. Then he asks me, "What is this." I look up from my fantastic tasting soup that I was enjoying only to be interrupted by a stupid question. Sure, while we waited for the waitress, he didn't have anything to say, now that I am enjoying the best crock of french onion soup on the face of the planet, now he talks. Great! "It is the soup you ordered." I replied. He tried it and what do ya know, he likes it. 'Mikey likes it.' that's Life (cereal). Okay, if you were born in the 1980's you didn't get that.

Wow, can you believe the 80's style is coming back, again!? Last week I actually saw stirrup pants in the department stores. Heaven help us all. Please oh Lord of Heaven and fashion, do not allow the mile high, hair spray, cliff hanging bangs to come back. Remember, when you could judge a girl by the height of her bangs? The taller the bangs, the bigger the bitch she was. Maybe all the hairspray got heavy carrying all that around. ha ha

Really not much to mention about the date since we didn't talk much. He did however say his sandwich was good. Guess I won't be calling him. What would be the point unless I was calling to talk to myself. I talk to myself enough as it is.

One plus one equals a third wheel

Who are you on a date with???? He picked the restaurant, it is his favorite, so I didn't mind, at first. There were mirrors everywhere and he even insisted that we sit at a table in full view of a mirror. Whatever, I don't care where we sit, I'm not fussy. He kept looking at himself in the mirror, not looking at me, looking at himself. I commented on all of the mirrors, practically one on every wall. "Yeah, I really like mirrors, I have a lot at my house too. Really big ones for the walls, I have at least one in every room." He said that as if he were actually proud of it. I expected him to whip a compact mirror out of his pocket any minute. I had a hard time having a conversation with a person who rarely looked at me. I was beginning to feel like the third wheel on my own date. "Hello?!" Yeah, real person over here." Maybe I should have made a prerecorded message. We should have gotten a table for five, me, him, the mirror, and his ego. The ego would need two chairs because it was fatter than a intern under bill Clinton's desk!

What do you want to do?

"What do you want to do?" "I don't know, what do you want to do?" "I asked you first, what do you want to do?" "Anything you decide is fine with me." This carried on for a bit then I realized I had two options, one, I could slap him and tell him to shut up, or I could just tell him what I wanted to do without any concern for his expected response. Because I am polite in front of most people, at least until they get to know me. ha ha I said, "Okay, fine, I want to go to the dog park with my dogs." "I want to go with you." He says with a blank look on his expressionless face.

My amazing dogs were overly excited to go to the dog park, no matter who is going with, they don't have to talk to them, I do. Lucky dogs! If I were a boy dog, I probably would have peed on him but since I'm a human girl, I didn't want to risk getting any on my shoes. lol

At the dog park, some of those dogs go from one to the other, not only licking each other but humping each other, and they even do it in groups. Wow, now that I think about it. The dog park has become a total meat market! I mean they don't even ask names they just jump right on. Woe to the bee keepers.

After the dog park we stopped for ice cream to cool down from the hot summer sun and to forget about the flirtatious moves of the fat guy's labradoodle. What ever the hell that is. He probably ate his real dog. Leaving the dogs in the car we went to get an ice cream cone. He ordered four cones. Four? Um, I can only eat one but I appreciated the compliment on how much you think I can lick. ha ha "No." he says, "One is for you, one is for me, and one for each of the dogs." AAawwwwwwww, how cute!!!! He wants to buy ice cream for my dogs.... His cuteness factor just went up 28 points. We ate our cones and smiled at each other then bought two more cones put them in salad bowls and fed my dogs ice cream in the parking lot. Fun, cute, and then disappeared. He did warn me he travels a lot for work but I bet cell phones can reach any where. Haven't heard from him since.

fast update ~ no time

School semester has begun and I have been lacking on time. I have a few dates I need to tell you about. So when I do get the time, I will have to write about a few of them. Nothing to suspenseful, nothing really great. BLAH! You are probably getting used to me saying that! I hope that men evolve into better creatures because other wise all of human kind will become extinct. Either that, I will have to lower my standards even more. As you have read from some of my experiences, some of them had been pretty low below the bar or they just smacked their head on it. So the search continues for someone datable or at least someone respectable enough to earn a second date. Most of the things they are respect and common sense but apparently, common sense isn't very common. I will catch up with you later!

I'm a-ler-gic to you!

Yes I have been on some bad dates recently but I have not forgotten you. I have to learn to not schedule two dates on the same day because I don't get a chance to update you and give you all of the horrific details to feed your morbid curiosity.

Saturday Sept 5th, I was on a date with a gentleman, and the date was great. Most of his manners were up to quality expectations and he was a gentlemen. Ugh, finally. We went to dinner and enjoyed some good conversations, he was cute, nice, and shy with some great flirtatious intentions. I was happy with the date and glad to have a normal time with a normal guy. We wanted to have a small fire at his place after dinner so a quick stop at the super market and a dollar bag of marshmallows, we were on our way.

After arriving to his house, he sat on the small sofa, smiling at each other and with full attention, kissing was on both our minds. He put his arm around me, leaned in for a kiss, and I began to gag. Sneezing, gagging, eyes watering, oh yeah, the whole bit. I got up and walked around the kitchen and outside with my eyes watering. He said, "Wow, that is one for the record books! I lean in to make my move and the girl starts gagging." I politely and apologetically explained to him that I am allergic to his deodorant. On the phone before our date, I warned him that I am allergic to many colognes and soaps, cleaning agents, etc. So he didn't wear any cologne but I was allergic to his deodorant. When he put his arm around me to kiss me, the deodorant caused an allergic reaction to me. It took about 40 minutes of me being outside to get my nose to stop running and my eyes to stop watering. That pretty much killed any romantic moment of the evening.

He said that he understood and was not offended. So I asked him if he would do me a favor. He said he would so I asked him if he would take soft soap which I am not allergic to and wash his deodorant off. The look on his face was of more than shock and disbelief but he was willing to do it for me. So he grumbled into the bathroom taking off his shirt, saying, "This is new one ." After returning to the sitting area where I was still waiting, he said, This is definitely the first time I have ever tried to kiss a woman and she became sick." We laughed about it but you could still feel some uneasiness in the air.

Other wise, everything was fine, we liked each other and enjoyed each other's company and the conversation we had. It was a good date and one of the best ones. I liked him a lot and the way he acted, talked, and kissed, you could see he also liked it a lot too.


Day 2~ We saw each other the next day and he told me that the night before he was looking for more than just a few kisses. I was a bit offended because everything went so well and yet he still had sex on the brain. Do men ever think of anything else? One of his friends arrived and my date was fast to tell his friend about the gagging reaction to his bungled kiss. It became sort of a joke' me being allergic to him. Not only was I allergic to his cologne, his deodorant, his body soap, and his laundry detergent. I was literally allergic to everything he had on his body. Not a good way to make a sexy impression.

He told me that he didn't want it to "sound bad" but he said, "You smile too much and you have intense" energy. I just looked at him and replied, "Are you serious? I told you I smile a lot but you are the first person who has ever complained about it." He said, "Yeah, but you smile all the time, you are always smiling." My only response, "Yeah?!" I have no idea to this day where he was going with that but That is just part of who I am, I am a smiling person. Weirdo!

Phone date with political moron

Mostly it is the smart people who follow the unwritten rules of the three topics to avoid while in company of others and on a date (doesn't matter if regular date or phone date). The three topics from the beginning of time to never discuss are politics, religion, and abortion. Now obviously, there are other less damaging topics people would also be intelligent enough to avoid and some of them have been mentioned in the previous pages but for the most part, these are the three big ones.

The topic of Obama-nomics comes up in the conversation. He quickly gets excited and jumps on the band wagon of every first time voter that voted in the recent election. He is just barely old enough for that. This kid still had Similac on his breath! Then he threw himself into a verbal self-mutilation of idiotic comments that not only were contradictory but had no bearing on any part of reality. He lunches his self delusions into the very idea that it was Noah that began problems in the political spectrum. I reminded him that Noah was not a politician but an obedient follower of God. In his own words, "I have never read the Bible but I don't see how is could possibly make sense." I thought to myself, "This guy is a total moron, he is so stupid, he wouldn't know it if 'Stupid' was his legal first and last name." I kinda wanted to tell him there was a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool. But nah, that would just be too funny, ...umm, I mean too cruel.
I let him try to rant on that just because it was so bizarre. I have seen Democrats try to blame Republicans for lots of things, but to try to blame Noah for the political problems of today, well, that is just one for the record books!

Now less than friends

If you think the classic dinner and a movie date can't go wrong, I can give the name and number of a guy who can't seem to get it right. This one was not a blind date but rather someone I have know for many years. I bumped into him at the supermarket one day after we hadn't seen each other for years. After getting through the typical how have you been, work, school, family, etc. we arrive to the part of yes, I am single now. Two days later he calls and extends his apology for the short term of my marriage. Then suggest since I am single now maybe we should get together for dinner and catch up on old times. He has always been a good friend so of course I said yes and looked forward to the next day that we would get together for a long and friendly chat.

In the past we have gone to dinner, or a movie, or event together as friends and everything has been great. Very nice guy, I would have set him up with a good friend as a date. Well, probably not anymore. We went to dinner, Mexican, yummy. Talked about politics and education, since we agree on those topics, it wasn't a taboo. However, if you are on a date, this is one of the three forbidden topics. After dinner, by the way he, 'Mr. I'm gonna hit on you later' didn't leave much of a tip. After we left the restaurant he just drove around aimlessly. I asked him, "Where are you going?" He replied, "I don't know, I just don't want to drop you off yet." Then he suggested a movie. Okay, that sound like a good idea. Well, so I thought, that is until he wanted to start holding my hand and then wanted to put his head on my shoulder. I moved over to the next seat. "What are you doing sitting over there?" He asked me with a very strange look on his face. "I thought you needed more space, you didn't look comfortable in your seat." I replied. With a higher octave voice said, "I was snuggling up to you." "Why?!" I asked him. Then he asked me to sit next to him again. Then he just put his arm around me. I bluntly but politely told him I was not comfortable with it. We finished the movie then I asked him to take me home. Multiple times he suggested that I stay at his place because he has to work early in the morning. I said "no" very forcefully and told him that if he was concerned about waking up for work, he should not have asked me to a movie that was not even in the plan.

Do men seriously think that we do not have rights to our own bodies, that if no man is speaking for it that it is open season or do I dare say 'free range'. Considering they even think that we do not know how we feel or even obviously mean what we say. When a man responds, "Ohh, you don't mean that." I want to smack him up side his foolish pig head then ask him, "Did I mean that?" I think we know are own opinion, as a matter of fact, I am certain of it!

This guy has been a friend for a very long time, more than a decade. I reminded him of this fact and told him that I was not interested to date him because I wouldn't want to lose that friendship. He said he understood but that was something he was willing to risk. DUMBASS!
Even a man that I previously believed to have been sane has become a horny vulture!

L-O-S-E-R!

How many ways can you spell this guys name? I don't know but my favorite way and, I think, the most accurate, is LOSER. But who am I to say. I am sure once you downed a few gallons of vodka, he might be almost interesting if he were a pinata dangling from the Golden Gate Bridge being peed on by goats. He tells me he would like to go out on a date with me but he doesn't have any money. Now, I appreciate honesty but somethings, you should probably keep somethings to yourself. Surly he didn't expect me to jump up and say, "Alright, that is exactly what I am looking for in a guy!"

Later he emailed me asking if I would like to join him tonight for a couple of drinks. A pub that is close to him since he doesn't have a car. Not another one!? #$%^&*()@#$%^!?!? Okay, whaaaatever! I meet him there he buys me one drink, I buy him one. We begin talking but it seems intellectual conversation is not something he has experienced before. The jokes begin to sputter around the room. He says to me, "I bet I can offend you!" Well, that is a pick-up line I haven't heard before. PUKE! So then he begins telling me offensive jokes that are an affront to the very delicacy of my nature. After his display of mas immaturity blended with a few shots of stupidity, I let him know that I need to go home. He then says, "Okay, you can give me a ride home." WHAT?! UGH! Fine, because I am a nice person, I agree, I drop him in the parking lot of his building. He asks me if I would like to go in with him. "No thank you." I replied.

Then..........OMG! He asks me, "Do you want to check out my package? It is ready." I will let you in on a little clue, he doesn't work for UPS or FED-EX, or even IPS. You can easily arrive to the conclusion of what he was tactlessly suggesting. If he were the very last man on the face of the Earth and there were no suicide options, I still would not be interested in checking out his "package". Disgusting! What is it with guys, do they really think women are just sitting around wondering if a man will go to bed with them? It is no friggen' wonder why many of these guys are single. I mean this guy didn't even have a face a mother could love. Why are men so obsessed with there little Johnsons? I should have asked him if that was a half a roll of Certs in his pocket or if he was just happy to see me.