Monday, August 31, 2009
Day mares to night mares
Away from the computer for a few days means I have a lot of catching up to do. Yes, yes, I know you are all in suspense and shear agony wondering what agony I have been going through on these dates. I tell you, I am going to have to slow down because I am beginning to lose track. It is becoming like a full-time job. lol I am beginning to feel like I am in my twenties again, but now I am just tired. It is true, youth is wasted on the young, so was a lot of alcohol I could be using now to numb out the memories of these bad dates! Instead of naming this blog bad dates, I should have given it the more realistic name and term of daymares and nightmares. Uuuuggghhhh.....!!!!!!! Someone send me a real date so I can STOP THE MADNESS!!!!!
Phase one- abort process
Evening phone date, this guy was so clingy, on the phone. This has to be the worst phone date I have EVER had. I definitely can't imagine one worse, but I am sure it will probably happen. He was asking me to go on a date with him if he could kiss me on my neck and give me back rubs/ massage. Ugh! Gross! I haven't even met this guy yet and he is so clingy on the phone, I can't stand to be on the phone with him. I told him that I do not like a person to be all clingy and PDA especially just meeting someone for the first time. He actually says, "I'll get you out of that." He can't even accept no on the phone. Okay, enough of that. Definitely NOT going on a date with this guy.
Carless, moneyless, and clueless
Sorry to keep all of you in suspense. The lunch date I met him at the library, turns out he didn't have a car. Come on! Are you serious?!~ Thirty eight years old and doesn't have a car? I know homeless people who have cars. Since he doesn't have a car it left me wondering what he had planned for our lunch 'date'. "So, what do you want to do?" I asked him. "You wanna walk around down town?", he asked me. I was thinking, Um, hell no; but I said, "Sure." Okay, so we walked around and went to the comic shop. Wow, this is an exciting date... blah, blah, blah. Okay, two dreadful uneventful hours pass, I am thinking we need to eat something. "Are you hungry?", I asked him. "No", he replied as he shook his head. Um, "what is it you planned on doing?", I inquired. "Oh, nothing, we can just talk." He said with a slow slur as he turned his head.
Talk? TALK?? TTAALLKK????? I got myself dressed, drove MY CAR, down here to meet him, walked around for two hours, and he wants to TALK? That's what they invented phones for! I am starting to think maybe he is homeless. Nothing against homeless people, some of them are very nice but one thing about women, we dig guys with jobs. Finally he offers to buy us something to drink, thank you. In he wallet resides six dollar and no change. Do I really need to say anymore about this date?
I want to give credit where credit is due. We really did have nice conversation but I would have like that there be something more planned.
Talk? TALK?? TTAALLKK????? I got myself dressed, drove MY CAR, down here to meet him, walked around for two hours, and he wants to TALK? That's what they invented phones for! I am starting to think maybe he is homeless. Nothing against homeless people, some of them are very nice but one thing about women, we dig guys with jobs. Finally he offers to buy us something to drink, thank you. In he wallet resides six dollar and no change. Do I really need to say anymore about this date?
I want to give credit where credit is due. We really did have nice conversation but I would have like that there be something more planned.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Cancelled
Yesterday cancelled my date because have not been well and I would probably have slept right through it. Actually, I did sleep the entire time but I was considerate enough to cancelled before that. However, today I have two dates. I try to never have two dates on the same day but couldn't avoid it today. Have a lunch date at noon and a dinner date later this evening. Wish me luck. lol And the beat goes on... and the beat goooes oonnnnn....
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
The ketchup got more action
I don't expect every man to be refined but to use your spoon like a shovel, I think is a bit much. Isn't self feeding a requirement for first grade? Dinner and a movie, a classic date and perfect if there really isn't much to talk about. He ate the equivalent of a children's meal minus the toy. I like a man with a good appetite this one didn't have it. He put ketchup in a separate dish, the tried to pour it onto the dish that was holding his french fries, then again ate ketchup from the first dish he put it in. The ketchup moved around so much I expected it to send me a postcard.
The movie we saw was "Funny People"; it is a good movie but not as funny as you expect it to be. However, any movie with Adam Sandler in it is a good movie. Hey, have you seen "Shakes the Clown"? Wow, that is a funny but strange movie, it is an old one but if you look, you can find it. The date really lacked any interesting points and the movie was a nice distraction that I didn't have to make any feeble attempts to make conversation. After the date he asked me when he could see me again, I wanted to tell him, I'm not taking anymore applications, the next date must have gotten lost in the mail, I got called into work, my dog is getting his teeth cleaned that day, don't call me- I'll call you. However, I settled for the old stand by gentle and ambiguous let down. "I will need to take a look at my schedule and see." It is probably as transparent as Madonna's underwear but what else was I going to say. Good night.
The movie we saw was "Funny People"; it is a good movie but not as funny as you expect it to be. However, any movie with Adam Sandler in it is a good movie. Hey, have you seen "Shakes the Clown"? Wow, that is a funny but strange movie, it is an old one but if you look, you can find it. The date really lacked any interesting points and the movie was a nice distraction that I didn't have to make any feeble attempts to make conversation. After the date he asked me when he could see me again, I wanted to tell him, I'm not taking anymore applications, the next date must have gotten lost in the mail, I got called into work, my dog is getting his teeth cleaned that day, don't call me- I'll call you. However, I settled for the old stand by gentle and ambiguous let down. "I will need to take a look at my schedule and see." It is probably as transparent as Madonna's underwear but what else was I going to say. Good night.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Museum junkies get a fix
I know you have all been at the edge of your uncomfortable computer chairs with the rollers on the bottoms that always get stuck waiting for me to write about the date I had today. Considering most of you are already in bed burning the midnight oil at 7:00, you will have no idea until the morning. First to their computer keys wins... -nothing. Well one thing is for sure, I missed my meeting today in the Bahamas. I was supposed to be crowned Miss. Universe but I was on a date instead so the rest of the world is going to have to wait to see me in a bikini!
A lovely young man, (young meaning he is my age). Hey, I am young and very attractive, just ask me, I will tell you. If you want you can ask me if you are too. I will tell you and I will even give you directions where to go. lol A nice guy from Milwaukee found his way here to see me for our scheduled date that we set up two weeks ago that was postponed until today. Apparently he found out what he would be missing. I assumed he lives alone and dresses himself because he showed up in a T-shirt. The other possibility is that he walked out the door naked and hit a pot smoking dreadlocks wearing hippie on the corner of 1980's St. and Pass-the-Bud Blvd.
T-shirt, minus 1 point! Remembering my name and what I would be wearing, plus 1 point.
I get the points for NOT wearing a T-shirt. A T-shirt? Really, on a first date? Well, at least he wasn't trying to impressing me.
First stop the museum where I work. YEA!!! He is a museum junkie just like me!!! That is plus 100 points! Of course the museum is wonderful, we talked a lot and enjoyed the conversations and it was a compliment that I was able to show off the little bit I know about the job I am supposed to know about a lot. The gardens were really beautiful and because of his field of work, he was also able to show off with what he knew. Either that or he figured out I didn't know squat about the gardens and was just making up stuff to impress me. It was good convo back and forth. After that museum, we went to the other museum. He was so cute, he asked me if I was a docent there. ha ha No, I just have no life and hang out in museums all day.
One thing he did tell me is that he is allergic to dogs and cats. Half of my brain is thinking, damn, my dog sleeps in bed with me guess he won't be going there. The other half of my brain is like, "Hmmmm, if I want to end the date quickly, I can through some dog hair at him or I could roll around in cat pee. " Both of those would have turned out to be pretty unpleasant so it was a good thing I was enjoying the date. On the phone this morning I ate two frozen pancakes from a brightly colored box that had big chunks of snow on it. Thinking he would arrive in time for us to eat lunch. Buuuuuttttt... he apparently had a different idea, and was not hungry. I should start setting up morning dates so then I could at least sometime get a decent breakfast.
Since my car has the dog hair fur lined custom seats, we agreed to take his car. And what a car it is. VERY NICE! Normally I am not some materialist schmuck who can be impressed with a car, unless it is a 1969 or 1972 Mustang. However, this sweet fella drives a sweet ride. He has a burnt orange (original color) 1981 Pontiac T1000. Classic! Hatch back and all Baby! Oh yeah. in the back seat he had square pieces of granite that had this weird rubbery texture paint on it, it was really interesting. An art form he discovered and experimented with, it was actually really cool. Not only does he like art but also does some himself. Oh did I mention that both of us are Pisces? Part of the day it was like talking to a really bad mirror reflection of myself, you know, if I were a guy, wearing a T-shirt. lol
After the museums, we got shakes and I showed him Oshkosh's best kept secret, me. Just kidding, I took him to the old carp ponds, the island and light house and all those really beautiful trees that are perfect for climbing. We walked and talked, a lot, he was so comforting and easy to talk with, I some how couldn't keep my mouth shut. We sat on a tree that was leaned over drank our shakes and just talked. A few times he said something really cute, I wanted to kiss him, but I didn't, but I was thinking about it.
Two museums, shakes, carp ponds, and long conversations... did I mention no bathrooms? No bathrooms! I was starting focus too much on when would be an appropriate break in the conversation to suggest a potty break. Even though it would have been very poor etiquette to jump up and down doing the "Pee pee" dance and try to hide discreetly behind a tree for a moment in time. I had to really think of a non-obvious way to get the heck out of there and back to civilization where I could find a ladies room. Then we started talking about art and my paintings, then I got excited and side tracked about my artwork and offered to show him some of my paintings. Okay, so I forgot I had to go to the bathroom. I showed him many of my paintings, he showed me some of his photography and though it seems like it would take a short amount of time, it took a lot of time. Then guess what I remembered? I still have to go potty! Not being able to fully concentrate, I teased him a bit more about the T-shirt thing and before I knew it the words "Don't worry, I will write you a good review." came flying out of my mouth as if being shot from a cannon. Unfortunately, he was quick enough to catch them in mid flight. So now my brain is in panic and overdrive. Gears were spinning trying to debate which is now more important, that I may have just exposed my blog about bad dates or that I really need to use the restroom and we are still no where close to anything that would have plumbing or a door for privacy. I GOT CONFUSED!!!!
Then it came to me as if it were a gentle song from a birdy flying by. "I am starving, lets go get dinner.", I said. Oh, it was 7:00 pm by this time. Yeah, I was pretty convincing, well, I was hungry but I really had to go, literally. So we got dinner and each of us confessed something. I confessed I blog about my dates and he confessed he... well, I will keep that private for his dignity, and also because he is probably going to read my blog. At any rate, after reading this I may or may not ever see or hear from him again. lol
A lovely young man, (young meaning he is my age). Hey, I am young and very attractive, just ask me, I will tell you. If you want you can ask me if you are too. I will tell you and I will even give you directions where to go. lol A nice guy from Milwaukee found his way here to see me for our scheduled date that we set up two weeks ago that was postponed until today. Apparently he found out what he would be missing. I assumed he lives alone and dresses himself because he showed up in a T-shirt. The other possibility is that he walked out the door naked and hit a pot smoking dreadlocks wearing hippie on the corner of 1980's St. and Pass-the-Bud Blvd.
T-shirt, minus 1 point! Remembering my name and what I would be wearing, plus 1 point.
I get the points for NOT wearing a T-shirt. A T-shirt? Really, on a first date? Well, at least he wasn't trying to impressing me.
First stop the museum where I work. YEA!!! He is a museum junkie just like me!!! That is plus 100 points! Of course the museum is wonderful, we talked a lot and enjoyed the conversations and it was a compliment that I was able to show off the little bit I know about the job I am supposed to know about a lot. The gardens were really beautiful and because of his field of work, he was also able to show off with what he knew. Either that or he figured out I didn't know squat about the gardens and was just making up stuff to impress me. It was good convo back and forth. After that museum, we went to the other museum. He was so cute, he asked me if I was a docent there. ha ha No, I just have no life and hang out in museums all day.
One thing he did tell me is that he is allergic to dogs and cats. Half of my brain is thinking, damn, my dog sleeps in bed with me guess he won't be going there. The other half of my brain is like, "Hmmmm, if I want to end the date quickly, I can through some dog hair at him or I could roll around in cat pee. " Both of those would have turned out to be pretty unpleasant so it was a good thing I was enjoying the date. On the phone this morning I ate two frozen pancakes from a brightly colored box that had big chunks of snow on it. Thinking he would arrive in time for us to eat lunch. Buuuuuttttt... he apparently had a different idea, and was not hungry. I should start setting up morning dates so then I could at least sometime get a decent breakfast.
Since my car has the dog hair fur lined custom seats, we agreed to take his car. And what a car it is. VERY NICE! Normally I am not some materialist schmuck who can be impressed with a car, unless it is a 1969 or 1972 Mustang. However, this sweet fella drives a sweet ride. He has a burnt orange (original color) 1981 Pontiac T1000. Classic! Hatch back and all Baby! Oh yeah. in the back seat he had square pieces of granite that had this weird rubbery texture paint on it, it was really interesting. An art form he discovered and experimented with, it was actually really cool. Not only does he like art but also does some himself. Oh did I mention that both of us are Pisces? Part of the day it was like talking to a really bad mirror reflection of myself, you know, if I were a guy, wearing a T-shirt. lol
After the museums, we got shakes and I showed him Oshkosh's best kept secret, me. Just kidding, I took him to the old carp ponds, the island and light house and all those really beautiful trees that are perfect for climbing. We walked and talked, a lot, he was so comforting and easy to talk with, I some how couldn't keep my mouth shut. We sat on a tree that was leaned over drank our shakes and just talked. A few times he said something really cute, I wanted to kiss him, but I didn't, but I was thinking about it.
Two museums, shakes, carp ponds, and long conversations... did I mention no bathrooms? No bathrooms! I was starting focus too much on when would be an appropriate break in the conversation to suggest a potty break. Even though it would have been very poor etiquette to jump up and down doing the "Pee pee" dance and try to hide discreetly behind a tree for a moment in time. I had to really think of a non-obvious way to get the heck out of there and back to civilization where I could find a ladies room. Then we started talking about art and my paintings, then I got excited and side tracked about my artwork and offered to show him some of my paintings. Okay, so I forgot I had to go to the bathroom. I showed him many of my paintings, he showed me some of his photography and though it seems like it would take a short amount of time, it took a lot of time. Then guess what I remembered? I still have to go potty! Not being able to fully concentrate, I teased him a bit more about the T-shirt thing and before I knew it the words "Don't worry, I will write you a good review." came flying out of my mouth as if being shot from a cannon. Unfortunately, he was quick enough to catch them in mid flight. So now my brain is in panic and overdrive. Gears were spinning trying to debate which is now more important, that I may have just exposed my blog about bad dates or that I really need to use the restroom and we are still no where close to anything that would have plumbing or a door for privacy. I GOT CONFUSED!!!!
Then it came to me as if it were a gentle song from a birdy flying by. "I am starving, lets go get dinner.", I said. Oh, it was 7:00 pm by this time. Yeah, I was pretty convincing, well, I was hungry but I really had to go, literally. So we got dinner and each of us confessed something. I confessed I blog about my dates and he confessed he... well, I will keep that private for his dignity, and also because he is probably going to read my blog. At any rate, after reading this I may or may not ever see or hear from him again. lol
Saturday, August 22, 2009
The auto tech. bowling farmer
Last night I went on a date with the farmer I had the phonedate with. I had never dated a farmer before. He has this thing he does when he is nervous; he says the word "so" a lot. When we had the phone date, he began and ended just about every sentence with the word "so".
The plan was to meet at a Chinese restaurant for dinner at 6:30 pm. I took a nap at 4:00 pm with the alarm set so I would have plenty of time to wake up and get ready. I SLEPT THROUGH MY ALARM FOR AN HOUR! When I woke up I sprang from my bed as if I was in the story book the night before Christmas but I didn't see a man with eight tiny reindeer. I grabbed the phone the man's number hoping to find but instead I found many call phone numbers in line. Of course, I did what any insane woman would do when realizing she was late for a date. I called every single one! About the fourth number was the correct one. He was already there at the restaurant. I apologized profusely and asked him to give me 15 minutes that of course turned to 20 minutes. After getting ready with my make up half on I flew out the door and my way I was on. He must have seen me driving into the parking lot like a crazy person be cause he began walking to my vehicle as soon as I parked. He came up to me as I continued to apologize and said, "Don't worry about it. You look beautiful."
He is a skinny little guy, about my same height but since I was wearing heels, I appeared to be taller. As we ate and talked, he began talking about farming because it is what he knows best but some how in that, we discovered we went to the same high school for one year. He is a year younger than me. We didn't know of each other then. Well, as he tells it, he knew of me and remembered hearing me name often being called over the school's intercom. Yeah, I was normally in trouble back then, a bit of a scrapper I was. That gave us something to talk about and probably gave him the incentive to go home and find his old yearbook. BLAH! Twenty years ago, who am I kidding, I had no wrinkles and probably better skin.
After dinner he looked at me and said, "So, are you ready to do some bowling?" In my mind, I am thinking to myself, 'don't laugh, he is serious' . "Um, yeah, I'm ready. You may have to help me out though.", I said. On Friday nights the bowling ally has this thing, disco bowling or kaleidoscope bowling, techno bowling, I am not sure the name of it but they turn off the lights and turn on black lights and everything glows in the dark. It was pretty interesting. I bought us flashing light necklaces to go with all the other flashing lights. Actually, I was hoping it would be a distraction. ha ha I really can't bowl. However, at the end of one game, I did manage to get a turkey. I had no idea what that meant but he said that if you get three 'X' in a row, that is called a turkey. We played five games, I only broke a hundred once and I only won one game. He probably let me win. Much to my surprise, it was really a lot of fun. And even much more surprising is bowling is really good exercise. I think I got a bit of a work out.
Both of us really enjoyed the date. How do I know he did, besides all the smiling he did and him telling me he had a great time, as we left at 11:30 pm, he actually offered to fix my car, right then. He wanted to fix my car at 11:30 at night, in the parking lot of the bowling place. OMG!
I guess I really had some effect on him. While we stood by my car talking, he again continued to say the word 'so' when ever he said anything, so I knew he was once again nervous. Then he looked to me and asked, "Would you like to go out with me again?" I said, "Yes, I would." I really had a great time but I don't think there is the potential of a romantic relationship there. He is really skinny (that can be changed, yes I know) but he is also very timid. I am not sure how I would handle that on a long term basis.
And to spare you from the suspense, he did tell me that his hobbies are fixing cars, hunting, and yes, fishing. I am beginning to wonder, do these guys fish because they are single, or are they single because they fish?
The plan was to meet at a Chinese restaurant for dinner at 6:30 pm. I took a nap at 4:00 pm with the alarm set so I would have plenty of time to wake up and get ready. I SLEPT THROUGH MY ALARM FOR AN HOUR! When I woke up I sprang from my bed as if I was in the story book the night before Christmas but I didn't see a man with eight tiny reindeer. I grabbed the phone the man's number hoping to find but instead I found many call phone numbers in line. Of course, I did what any insane woman would do when realizing she was late for a date. I called every single one! About the fourth number was the correct one. He was already there at the restaurant. I apologized profusely and asked him to give me 15 minutes that of course turned to 20 minutes. After getting ready with my make up half on I flew out the door and my way I was on. He must have seen me driving into the parking lot like a crazy person be cause he began walking to my vehicle as soon as I parked. He came up to me as I continued to apologize and said, "Don't worry about it. You look beautiful."
He is a skinny little guy, about my same height but since I was wearing heels, I appeared to be taller. As we ate and talked, he began talking about farming because it is what he knows best but some how in that, we discovered we went to the same high school for one year. He is a year younger than me. We didn't know of each other then. Well, as he tells it, he knew of me and remembered hearing me name often being called over the school's intercom. Yeah, I was normally in trouble back then, a bit of a scrapper I was. That gave us something to talk about and probably gave him the incentive to go home and find his old yearbook. BLAH! Twenty years ago, who am I kidding, I had no wrinkles and probably better skin.
After dinner he looked at me and said, "So, are you ready to do some bowling?" In my mind, I am thinking to myself, 'don't laugh, he is serious' . "Um, yeah, I'm ready. You may have to help me out though.", I said. On Friday nights the bowling ally has this thing, disco bowling or kaleidoscope bowling, techno bowling, I am not sure the name of it but they turn off the lights and turn on black lights and everything glows in the dark. It was pretty interesting. I bought us flashing light necklaces to go with all the other flashing lights. Actually, I was hoping it would be a distraction. ha ha I really can't bowl. However, at the end of one game, I did manage to get a turkey. I had no idea what that meant but he said that if you get three 'X' in a row, that is called a turkey. We played five games, I only broke a hundred once and I only won one game. He probably let me win. Much to my surprise, it was really a lot of fun. And even much more surprising is bowling is really good exercise. I think I got a bit of a work out.
Both of us really enjoyed the date. How do I know he did, besides all the smiling he did and him telling me he had a great time, as we left at 11:30 pm, he actually offered to fix my car, right then. He wanted to fix my car at 11:30 at night, in the parking lot of the bowling place. OMG!
I guess I really had some effect on him. While we stood by my car talking, he again continued to say the word 'so' when ever he said anything, so I knew he was once again nervous. Then he looked to me and asked, "Would you like to go out with me again?" I said, "Yes, I would." I really had a great time but I don't think there is the potential of a romantic relationship there. He is really skinny (that can be changed, yes I know) but he is also very timid. I am not sure how I would handle that on a long term basis.
And to spare you from the suspense, he did tell me that his hobbies are fixing cars, hunting, and yes, fishing. I am beginning to wonder, do these guys fish because they are single, or are they single because they fish?
Tomorrow about tonight
It is late and I am going to go to bed. Tomorrow I will write about the date I had tonight. Maybe tomorrow I will be able to catch up. Good night readers!
Good night Sweetheart
Already after midnight and I should be in bed, I need my beauty sleep, a lot of it. ha ha
I was going to go to bed but decided since I am behind on my blogging, I cracked open a can of Mountain Dew and here I am. As you know, I have been do some dating but somebody is getting jealous... It was his bad choice to turn away from a great woman. You know I always say, if you give a man an inch, he thinks he is a ruler.
Thursday night my date. He picked me up and we went to a restaurant to meet with some of his friends. He got tickets for us to see Three Dog Night. Very cool! We went to at a sports bar, I was surprised that we we arrived there, most of his friends were older women. I was expecting a bunch of flannel wearing, beer drinking, Yupper talking, Packer fan rednecks with mullet hair cuts. Okay, I wasn't expecting it to be THAT bad but with my luck, it could have very well have happened.
He goes to this establishment often and I have never been there. He ordered for me, now that is some old school etiquette. You don't see that happening anymore. He insisted picking me up for the date, opened doors, ate at an appropriate speed, very nice. When we went to the concert, it was an outside concert. Believe it or not, he had a folding couch for us to sit on. Now, that is class! We sat down and started watching the opening bands. Beginning to get cold, he gives me his coat. I was so comfortable, you will never believe what happened! I leaned over, put my head on his shoulder, and fell asleep. Whaaa! Can you believe that? He let me sleep and didn't wake me up, That is nice. I felt really bad. Yeah, go ahead and laugh. Maybe he is blogging about his bad date with me. lol As we were leaving, of course I apologize numerous times, he just smiled and said, "Don't worry about it." He is very sweet. But he did tease me about it a bit. I would have done the very same thing if it were someone else. lol He did ask me if I would like to go out with him again. Maybe I am a better date if I am asleep. lol As we were walking back to his car, I asked him, "Do you have any plans for the weekend?" He said, "Tomorrow, I will probably go fishing." I kid you not, he really said that.
It was a nice time, he was very considerate and sweet. I give him an A+ on his etiquette.
I was going to go to bed but decided since I am behind on my blogging, I cracked open a can of Mountain Dew and here I am. As you know, I have been do some dating but somebody is getting jealous... It was his bad choice to turn away from a great woman. You know I always say, if you give a man an inch, he thinks he is a ruler.
Thursday night my date. He picked me up and we went to a restaurant to meet with some of his friends. He got tickets for us to see Three Dog Night. Very cool! We went to at a sports bar, I was surprised that we we arrived there, most of his friends were older women. I was expecting a bunch of flannel wearing, beer drinking, Yupper talking, Packer fan rednecks with mullet hair cuts. Okay, I wasn't expecting it to be THAT bad but with my luck, it could have very well have happened.
He goes to this establishment often and I have never been there. He ordered for me, now that is some old school etiquette. You don't see that happening anymore. He insisted picking me up for the date, opened doors, ate at an appropriate speed, very nice. When we went to the concert, it was an outside concert. Believe it or not, he had a folding couch for us to sit on. Now, that is class! We sat down and started watching the opening bands. Beginning to get cold, he gives me his coat. I was so comfortable, you will never believe what happened! I leaned over, put my head on his shoulder, and fell asleep. Whaaa! Can you believe that? He let me sleep and didn't wake me up, That is nice. I felt really bad. Yeah, go ahead and laugh. Maybe he is blogging about his bad date with me. lol As we were leaving, of course I apologize numerous times, he just smiled and said, "Don't worry about it." He is very sweet. But he did tease me about it a bit. I would have done the very same thing if it were someone else. lol He did ask me if I would like to go out with him again. Maybe I am a better date if I am asleep. lol As we were walking back to his car, I asked him, "Do you have any plans for the weekend?" He said, "Tomorrow, I will probably go fishing." I kid you not, he really said that.
It was a nice time, he was very considerate and sweet. I give him an A+ on his etiquette.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Aphrodite vs, Athena
What is it with guys and fishing? I can't seem to get away from it? Uhg! Did I miss something? Has something drastically changed in the dating world since I have visited it last? Some how the dating experience has different dimensions. Is fishing the golden apple that was handed to Paris? Or is it, as I believe a mere delusion of a man to babble on of these fish stories in an unconscious attempt to indirectly suggest that he can provide for a female? At a significant query could there be an unidentified turn on of attraction that could be derived from the conversation of fishing. When it is said, "There are plenty of fish in the sea." It was not to be taken literally as many men seem to believe. In any romance novel or romance movie, i.e. "chick flick" is there any fishing going on? There are no plots that have to do or even lead to the orgasmic conversation of fishing or even the literary motion of the action.
However, if the fish tails and stories work, it is the choosing of Aphrodite (lust) that ultimately gets the man in trouble. Instead of telling fish stories, or worse, giving instruction of fishing (this REALLY does NOT charm a woman) it would be wiser to make the correct choice of Athena. Your mate may stay with you for a longer duration. Lust will bring you into battle but it is wisdom that brings you to love and happiness.
However, if the fish tails and stories work, it is the choosing of Aphrodite (lust) that ultimately gets the man in trouble. Instead of telling fish stories, or worse, giving instruction of fishing (this REALLY does NOT charm a woman) it would be wiser to make the correct choice of Athena. Your mate may stay with you for a longer duration. Lust will bring you into battle but it is wisdom that brings you to love and happiness.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
I am still hungry!
Last night I had a very nice date with a man who was very sweet. Uuummmm... How do I say this, It was a nice date. WOW! It is possible! He opened doors, smiled, has a good job, polite, so far no neon lights flashing with a loud buzzing alert, "Warning, Warning, Idiot ALERT, Idiot ALERT! EEERRRRR EEERRRR EEERRRRR..."
Talked about family, career, how beautiful I am. I always appreciate that! We went for Mexican food. The wait staff knew him because apparently, he goes there very often. Which, may or not be a good thing. Everything in moderation, your guests will thank you for it. he hehe
I ordered the chicken burrito, very good. He ate fast, I am not sure if he normally does that or if he was nervous. I eat kind of slow. It is a good idea to pace yourself eating pending on your company because it is considered rude other wise. I skipped lunch so I was starving. However, he finished his meal when I was only about half way through with mine. So when the waiter came to take his plate, I was down hearted and down stomached to ask for a box. I was still hungry!
We stayed at the table and continued chatting, I couldn't really understand what he was saying over the loud noises and grumbling of my tummy. The rest of my dinner was shouting from the square condo it was not sharing with my internal strength to hold back the desire to rip off the foam cover and dig in with the largest spoon I could find. Stupid food, taunting me, " you can't eat me, you can't eat me. Ha ha ha ha. I am in my teeny little styrofoam box, dignity and femininity, the great defender if finishing your meal in front of a date will protect me from you." Then it had this wicked little laugh like that guy at the end of the Thriller video. If I would have looked in the box, it probably would have little red eyes as it laughed. I was so hungry, I wanted to slap that Mexican accent right off of its rice and tomato face!
Then we moved to the bar for a drink. He asked me, "What would you like?" To finish my food! Who eats that fast anyway? What is your name Kirby Hoover? I am still hungry! I replied, "Oh, I am not sure, I guess a Margarita." Then it came with that lime slice on the side. Damn, I was so hungry, to me it looked like a salad! I am thinking to myself, if he looked away, how quickly could I snatch it off the rim of the glass and eat it? A little salty but who cares. Our drinks came surprisingly fast because the 'bartender' didn't speak much English but he did know margarita. Wait, is that English, or Spanish. Wow, even after a few drinks I can speak Spanish! Pretty good huh?! Margarita, margarita, margarita. I can say it three times fast. Oh, I can also drink three fast. See, I told you I was amazing! After drinks, he walked me to my car after the date. I told him thank you and I looked forward to seeing him again.
Then I got in my car with the excitement of a spoiled kid Christmas morning. Ah ha, I will be able to eat this on the way home. Not really, I had no flatware and we are talking about rice and a half burrito with the veggies on top. PISSER! When I got home, I raced to the kitchen and grabbed a fork. HHhmmmm, it was so good. I was so hungry and preoccupied with my food that I don't remember what he was talking to me about during the date. Maybe that is why it was a good date. I wonder if he talked about fishing? lol
Talked about family, career, how beautiful I am. I always appreciate that! We went for Mexican food. The wait staff knew him because apparently, he goes there very often. Which, may or not be a good thing. Everything in moderation, your guests will thank you for it. he hehe
I ordered the chicken burrito, very good. He ate fast, I am not sure if he normally does that or if he was nervous. I eat kind of slow. It is a good idea to pace yourself eating pending on your company because it is considered rude other wise. I skipped lunch so I was starving. However, he finished his meal when I was only about half way through with mine. So when the waiter came to take his plate, I was down hearted and down stomached to ask for a box. I was still hungry!
We stayed at the table and continued chatting, I couldn't really understand what he was saying over the loud noises and grumbling of my tummy. The rest of my dinner was shouting from the square condo it was not sharing with my internal strength to hold back the desire to rip off the foam cover and dig in with the largest spoon I could find. Stupid food, taunting me, " you can't eat me, you can't eat me. Ha ha ha ha. I am in my teeny little styrofoam box, dignity and femininity, the great defender if finishing your meal in front of a date will protect me from you." Then it had this wicked little laugh like that guy at the end of the Thriller video. If I would have looked in the box, it probably would have little red eyes as it laughed. I was so hungry, I wanted to slap that Mexican accent right off of its rice and tomato face!
Then we moved to the bar for a drink. He asked me, "What would you like?" To finish my food! Who eats that fast anyway? What is your name Kirby Hoover? I am still hungry! I replied, "Oh, I am not sure, I guess a Margarita." Then it came with that lime slice on the side. Damn, I was so hungry, to me it looked like a salad! I am thinking to myself, if he looked away, how quickly could I snatch it off the rim of the glass and eat it? A little salty but who cares. Our drinks came surprisingly fast because the 'bartender' didn't speak much English but he did know margarita. Wait, is that English, or Spanish. Wow, even after a few drinks I can speak Spanish! Pretty good huh?! Margarita, margarita, margarita. I can say it three times fast. Oh, I can also drink three fast. See, I told you I was amazing! After drinks, he walked me to my car after the date. I told him thank you and I looked forward to seeing him again.
Then I got in my car with the excitement of a spoiled kid Christmas morning. Ah ha, I will be able to eat this on the way home. Not really, I had no flatware and we are talking about rice and a half burrito with the veggies on top. PISSER! When I got home, I raced to the kitchen and grabbed a fork. HHhmmmm, it was so good. I was so hungry and preoccupied with my food that I don't remember what he was talking to me about during the date. Maybe that is why it was a good date. I wonder if he talked about fishing? lol
Phone date with a farmer
Hello everyone, sorry that I haven't blogged for a few days. I was sick for a few days but am back to being my sassy self and back on the fishing pond.
Oh boy, lets see... What have I been up to? Well, I am getting used to these phone dates. In fact I kind of like them because I can look absolutely terrible and they have no idea. Except, on a phone date I don't get dinner, unless you count the left overs from my fridge or a frozen meal. All though, some of those Healthy Choice meals are really good. Plus, you can end the phone date anytime without suspicion. "I have to go take my dog outside." "My goldfish just did a high dive out of its bowl and is flopping around on the floor! Gotta go! CLICK!" "You are so full of shit my toilet is overflowing. I need to get the plunger. bye!" Okay, so that last one I haven't actually used yet but it has come close.
Right, back to the phone date... The phone date was with a nice guy, he is a farmer. Whoa! Did I just say that, a farmer? I have never dated a farmer before. He likes to talk a lot, I think he was just nervous. Told me about farming a bit. I like animals so that was interesting. Said he is really involved in snow mobile something? I have no idea, I have seen those things but...I don't get it. He kind of lost me there. Fishing, what is it with all these guys and fishing????? Is it that they just want to feel something big and strong in their hands?
He sounded very nice on the phone, I think I will go on an actual date with him. I will keep you updated of course.
Oh boy, lets see... What have I been up to? Well, I am getting used to these phone dates. In fact I kind of like them because I can look absolutely terrible and they have no idea. Except, on a phone date I don't get dinner, unless you count the left overs from my fridge or a frozen meal. All though, some of those Healthy Choice meals are really good. Plus, you can end the phone date anytime without suspicion. "I have to go take my dog outside." "My goldfish just did a high dive out of its bowl and is flopping around on the floor! Gotta go! CLICK!" "You are so full of shit my toilet is overflowing. I need to get the plunger. bye!" Okay, so that last one I haven't actually used yet but it has come close.
Right, back to the phone date... The phone date was with a nice guy, he is a farmer. Whoa! Did I just say that, a farmer? I have never dated a farmer before. He likes to talk a lot, I think he was just nervous. Told me about farming a bit. I like animals so that was interesting. Said he is really involved in snow mobile something? I have no idea, I have seen those things but...I don't get it. He kind of lost me there. Fishing, what is it with all these guys and fishing????? Is it that they just want to feel something big and strong in their hands?
He sounded very nice on the phone, I think I will go on an actual date with him. I will keep you updated of course.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Saturday morning at the dog park
Since it has been so hot and humid out recently, I haven't been taking the dogs to the dog park.
This morning I woke up early and took them before it go too hot. I was surprised by the number of people there so early but I guess we all had the same idea to avoid the heat.
There was a really good looking guy there with his dog. Talked with him a little bit. I thought about asking him if his dog had a phone number. ha ha Since it was 8:00 on a Saturday morning and I pretty much just rolled out of bed and put on a T-shirt and sweat pants, I thought better of it. I looked like I came off the fashion runway for the camp-fire people. You know who you are. Don't worry Theresa, I won't mention ANY names! lol
The weekend is here and I am so excited I could just spit.
Lets see what interesting things happen.
This morning I woke up early and took them before it go too hot. I was surprised by the number of people there so early but I guess we all had the same idea to avoid the heat.
There was a really good looking guy there with his dog. Talked with him a little bit. I thought about asking him if his dog had a phone number. ha ha Since it was 8:00 on a Saturday morning and I pretty much just rolled out of bed and put on a T-shirt and sweat pants, I thought better of it. I looked like I came off the fashion runway for the camp-fire people. You know who you are. Don't worry Theresa, I won't mention ANY names! lol
The weekend is here and I am so excited I could just spit.
Lets see what interesting things happen.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Blue roof and bad credit
A wise decision I discovered long ago was to try to have the first date a lunch date. That way if you quickly discover that you made a mistake going out with Prince Not-So-Charming, you can get out of there quickly. If you decide to make a second date, then it can be a dinner date. Now guys, I know you think you have some control in deciding if there will be a second date but put your egos aside, this one is on us. The lunch date has proven to be more and more effective, however, I do not advise having a lunch date and a dinner date all in the same day.
Out of towner asks for a date then suggest a restaurant here in my town. Only by chance or maybe bad omen does he chose my least desirable place in town. Out of hundreds of restaurants, he picks this one. How does he come to the decision of that one restaurant? Why he chose it by the color of the roof of course! Why would anyone be so silly as to choose a place to eat by the taste of the food? Especially when there are so many pretty roofs out there!
While dining at this less than impressive establishment, you can choose to eat in doors or out doors. He didn't think to ask me which I would prefer before he quickly informed the hostess that we will be dining outside. Outside, in a very hot August with humidity of a thousand decrees, by the river (which was nice) and the seagulls flying over head. Lets not forget the band that plays outside. So not only do I have to worry about the seagulls, but since the band is so loud, I turn off my hearing aids and must fully rely on lip reading. Ugh! I am pretty sure he is not going to say anything interesting anyway.
As we are looking over the menu, he actually looks over the menu to me and says, "Tell me, will we be splitting the check?" "What was that?" I replied, absolutely sure I did not understand what he said. Again he asks, "Will we be splitting the check together?" He did not just say that! I smiled at him and just "no". First of all, if you can not afford to by lunch for two people, don't ask a girl out. Second, don't pick the restaurant by the color of the roof. And third, while looking at the menu trying to decide what to order, is the tackiest time to ask a date to split the check! Good golly! Be a man and pay the check. It is only sandwiches for lunch, not lobster! After the sandwiches arrive to our table, he unrolls his silverware from the cloth napkin, sets the napkin aside (instead of putting it on his lap), then asks the waitress for napkins. She politely points to the napkin from which his fork has come. He then asks, "Don't you have any paper napkins?"
She informs him they do not. Because I am polite, I only smiled and kept my comments to myself, until now that is. But some how, I don't think he would be reading this blog. We begin with having a drink, and to spend the next hour with this guy, I think I will need it.
Once the sandwiches come to the table, we each begin to eat. I ask him, "How is your food?" "good, and yours" he replies. "Fine, thank you.", was my reply. As we quietly eat and I am trying to think of what excuse I will use to get out of there quickly, he leans my way and says, "Can I ask you a question?" Very quickly I hold my smart ass self back from saying, 'you just did', I simply say, "sure". He asks my, "Can I have a some of your pickle?" Are we in a Vlasic pickle commercial? I see the cameras but I thought those were for the restaurant. With my right hand, I point to the pickle on his plate and say, "You do have a pickle right there, and it is the same as mine. But if you would still like my pickle, you are welcome to it." Then he says, "oh" and takes a bite out of the pickle after plucking it from his plate. THEN, as I am eating, he just reaches over to my plate and begins snatching my fries, without asking. "If you would like some fires, I am sure the waitress will gladly bring you some." "No, I am trying to eat healthier. That is why I ordered the coleslaw.", he says. That was his reason. Oh right, what was I thinking? Again, trying to keep my smart ass comments to myself and some of you know just how difficult that can be for me, especially at that very moment.
Focus, ...focus, I silently coach myself. 'Let him have the fries and just finish your sandwich' I tell myself. After we finish our lunch, the waitress brings the check. He lets it sit at the table and starts talking to me. I can not understand everything he is saying, only a few words so I jump ahead and thank him for the lunch, in an attempt to get him to pay the bill so we can leave. More importantly so I can leave, I don't really care if he stays or not. He finally retrieves his wallet from his backside and places a credit card in the paying folder for the restaurant. Upon the waitresses return with the check and credit card, she informs him that his card has been declined. He then gets another credit card from his wallet, hands it to the waitress and says, "Try this one and see if it will work."
At this point, I am in shock and trying to not make it so obvious. Suddenly, I am aware of every muscle in my facial structure and its movement. I am trying to look 'normal' and not mortified or shocked or, I don't know, I was at a loss for words, imagine that. lol The second card did accept the charge. Upon leaving the restaurant, I thanked our waitress and the hostess, then thanked him for the lunch. He walked with me through the parking lot and began a conversation, after a five or eight minutes I again thanked him for the lunch and told him I need to get going. He gave me a hug and let me know it was a pleasure to go out with me and that he really liked my smile. If he only knew it was holding back tears of laughter, he probably wouldn't have liked it so much. Then he began talking, again... I slowly started backing up to go to my car but he was not quick on the hint and continued talking. So I thanked him again and said "Have a great day.", and went to my car. That was the end of that.
Believe me, I was happy to get out of there. Men should have to carry around a little computer chip that we women can put in the computer and see all of their qualities, good and bad, and comments left by their previous dates, a little comment section from school and family. Oh why not, even a little area where we can grade them on a scale from one to five. Information on their good and bad habits would also be nice. That would be technology that I would make sure to know how to use. But I am sure if that miracle did come to pass, a lot more guys would not be reproducing and we may ruin the chance for a woman in the future to go on a date to a restaurant with a pretty roof.
Out of towner asks for a date then suggest a restaurant here in my town. Only by chance or maybe bad omen does he chose my least desirable place in town. Out of hundreds of restaurants, he picks this one. How does he come to the decision of that one restaurant? Why he chose it by the color of the roof of course! Why would anyone be so silly as to choose a place to eat by the taste of the food? Especially when there are so many pretty roofs out there!
While dining at this less than impressive establishment, you can choose to eat in doors or out doors. He didn't think to ask me which I would prefer before he quickly informed the hostess that we will be dining outside. Outside, in a very hot August with humidity of a thousand decrees, by the river (which was nice) and the seagulls flying over head. Lets not forget the band that plays outside. So not only do I have to worry about the seagulls, but since the band is so loud, I turn off my hearing aids and must fully rely on lip reading. Ugh! I am pretty sure he is not going to say anything interesting anyway.
As we are looking over the menu, he actually looks over the menu to me and says, "Tell me, will we be splitting the check?" "What was that?" I replied, absolutely sure I did not understand what he said. Again he asks, "Will we be splitting the check together?" He did not just say that! I smiled at him and just "no". First of all, if you can not afford to by lunch for two people, don't ask a girl out. Second, don't pick the restaurant by the color of the roof. And third, while looking at the menu trying to decide what to order, is the tackiest time to ask a date to split the check! Good golly! Be a man and pay the check. It is only sandwiches for lunch, not lobster! After the sandwiches arrive to our table, he unrolls his silverware from the cloth napkin, sets the napkin aside (instead of putting it on his lap), then asks the waitress for napkins. She politely points to the napkin from which his fork has come. He then asks, "Don't you have any paper napkins?"
She informs him they do not. Because I am polite, I only smiled and kept my comments to myself, until now that is. But some how, I don't think he would be reading this blog. We begin with having a drink, and to spend the next hour with this guy, I think I will need it.
Once the sandwiches come to the table, we each begin to eat. I ask him, "How is your food?" "good, and yours" he replies. "Fine, thank you.", was my reply. As we quietly eat and I am trying to think of what excuse I will use to get out of there quickly, he leans my way and says, "Can I ask you a question?" Very quickly I hold my smart ass self back from saying, 'you just did', I simply say, "sure". He asks my, "Can I have a some of your pickle?" Are we in a Vlasic pickle commercial? I see the cameras but I thought those were for the restaurant. With my right hand, I point to the pickle on his plate and say, "You do have a pickle right there, and it is the same as mine. But if you would still like my pickle, you are welcome to it." Then he says, "oh" and takes a bite out of the pickle after plucking it from his plate. THEN, as I am eating, he just reaches over to my plate and begins snatching my fries, without asking. "If you would like some fires, I am sure the waitress will gladly bring you some." "No, I am trying to eat healthier. That is why I ordered the coleslaw.", he says. That was his reason. Oh right, what was I thinking? Again, trying to keep my smart ass comments to myself and some of you know just how difficult that can be for me, especially at that very moment.
Focus, ...focus, I silently coach myself. 'Let him have the fries and just finish your sandwich' I tell myself. After we finish our lunch, the waitress brings the check. He lets it sit at the table and starts talking to me. I can not understand everything he is saying, only a few words so I jump ahead and thank him for the lunch, in an attempt to get him to pay the bill so we can leave. More importantly so I can leave, I don't really care if he stays or not. He finally retrieves his wallet from his backside and places a credit card in the paying folder for the restaurant. Upon the waitresses return with the check and credit card, she informs him that his card has been declined. He then gets another credit card from his wallet, hands it to the waitress and says, "Try this one and see if it will work."
At this point, I am in shock and trying to not make it so obvious. Suddenly, I am aware of every muscle in my facial structure and its movement. I am trying to look 'normal' and not mortified or shocked or, I don't know, I was at a loss for words, imagine that. lol The second card did accept the charge. Upon leaving the restaurant, I thanked our waitress and the hostess, then thanked him for the lunch. He walked with me through the parking lot and began a conversation, after a five or eight minutes I again thanked him for the lunch and told him I need to get going. He gave me a hug and let me know it was a pleasure to go out with me and that he really liked my smile. If he only knew it was holding back tears of laughter, he probably wouldn't have liked it so much. Then he began talking, again... I slowly started backing up to go to my car but he was not quick on the hint and continued talking. So I thanked him again and said "Have a great day.", and went to my car. That was the end of that.
Believe me, I was happy to get out of there. Men should have to carry around a little computer chip that we women can put in the computer and see all of their qualities, good and bad, and comments left by their previous dates, a little comment section from school and family. Oh why not, even a little area where we can grade them on a scale from one to five. Information on their good and bad habits would also be nice. That would be technology that I would make sure to know how to use. But I am sure if that miracle did come to pass, a lot more guys would not be reproducing and we may ruin the chance for a woman in the future to go on a date to a restaurant with a pretty roof.
Bad smoking but a good dinner
How did my date go last night? The beginning was slow, typical for this area as we went for a couple of drinks. Er go, he bought me a couple of drinks and he drank soda pop. He said that he didn't drink, which is a good thing. Drinking is not to common for me either but he kept buying them and I told him Pisces is a fish but we don't swim in alcohol. He replied bluntly, "Just trying to get you loosen up and away from your inhibition." Okay, that is a bad sign if a man says this, especially on the first date. What is it with guys? They quickly revert to the mental status of a 13 year old boy when they are around beautiful women, or around me. lol While we were sitting at the pub, an older man and his wife were sitting next to me. When the man's wife left the for the restroom, the man leaned over to me and told me I had a very beautiful smile. He was very nice. The bartender even hit on me when my 'date' went outside the pub to have a cigarette. This actually flattered me because he was a young guy, in his late twenties. WAKKA WAKKA!
When my date pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one, that was a huge gross factor for me. YUCK! "You smoke????? That is DISGUSTING! Now I will go home STINKING like smoke!!! If you weren't going to buy me a nice dinner and I wasn't so hungry, I would leave!" That's what I said, IN MY MIND. But out my mouth came different words, I think it came out something like. "Oh, no, that's fine, you can smoke." It made me think of the movie 'Forrest Gump'. When that girl kisses Forrest Gump and he throws her on the floor. Then says that great line, "Sorry to ruin you New Years Eve party Lieutenant Dan. That girl tasted like cigarettes."
His etiquette, aside from the smoking... Not bad, could use some brushing up. He didn't swear though the whole date. There was interesting conversation. And when I say interesting, I mean he told me about some story when he was in the military about him and seven other guys shared two hookers. Why in the world would a man tell ANYONE that, especially when he was on a date? While eating bread and butter, he scooped the butter right out from the package and put it directly on the bread. Okay, so I am being too fussy about the butter thing. That I can over look but the smoking and prostitute story, not so much. He did however, put his napkin on his lap, and he used it. So he gets point for that.
He tried to be a gentleman, right up until I would say about 10:00 or so. Then he thought he was going to have a home run or at least hit a few of the bases. Boy, was he mistaken. What does he think I am fast food? Fat, cheap, and easy? Well, at least he can take no for an answer, after you say it a few dozen times.
Men, if you are reading this blog, please take these few pieces of advice.
1. Women DO NOT want to hear stories about prostitution.
2. We are not interested in fishing stories.
3. If a woman says 'no', she probably isn't going to change her mind in the following
next few minutes.
4. Do NOT even think about asking her for intimate encounters when there is no relationship between you. Women are amazing people, not toys.
We had a very nice dinner, excellent food, both of us had the surf and turf, wonderful salad bar.
The restaurant had a very large fish tank, and in it, was the largest lion fish I had ever seen in my life. It was really a beautiful sight.
When my date pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one, that was a huge gross factor for me. YUCK! "You smoke????? That is DISGUSTING! Now I will go home STINKING like smoke!!! If you weren't going to buy me a nice dinner and I wasn't so hungry, I would leave!" That's what I said, IN MY MIND. But out my mouth came different words, I think it came out something like. "Oh, no, that's fine, you can smoke." It made me think of the movie 'Forrest Gump'. When that girl kisses Forrest Gump and he throws her on the floor. Then says that great line, "Sorry to ruin you New Years Eve party Lieutenant Dan. That girl tasted like cigarettes."
His etiquette, aside from the smoking... Not bad, could use some brushing up. He didn't swear though the whole date. There was interesting conversation. And when I say interesting, I mean he told me about some story when he was in the military about him and seven other guys shared two hookers. Why in the world would a man tell ANYONE that, especially when he was on a date? While eating bread and butter, he scooped the butter right out from the package and put it directly on the bread. Okay, so I am being too fussy about the butter thing. That I can over look but the smoking and prostitute story, not so much. He did however, put his napkin on his lap, and he used it. So he gets point for that.
He tried to be a gentleman, right up until I would say about 10:00 or so. Then he thought he was going to have a home run or at least hit a few of the bases. Boy, was he mistaken. What does he think I am fast food? Fat, cheap, and easy? Well, at least he can take no for an answer, after you say it a few dozen times.
Men, if you are reading this blog, please take these few pieces of advice.
1. Women DO NOT want to hear stories about prostitution.
2. We are not interested in fishing stories.
3. If a woman says 'no', she probably isn't going to change her mind in the following
next few minutes.
4. Do NOT even think about asking her for intimate encounters when there is no relationship between you. Women are amazing people, not toys.
We had a very nice dinner, excellent food, both of us had the surf and turf, wonderful salad bar.
The restaurant had a very large fish tank, and in it, was the largest lion fish I had ever seen in my life. It was really a beautiful sight.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
H-U-M-I-D-I-T-Y
This heat and humidity is terrible!!!! I have recently moved to an upper with no AC. It is awful and really zaps my ambition. Ugh! I have to get going and take care of the things I need to do today because I have a date later tonight. It is a dinner date. You can be sure I will be checking his etiquette and making notes. Ha, can you imagine me showing up to a date with a pen, a little note pad, and a tiny flashlight making notes through the whole date. That would be hilarious! People, do not be confused, etiquette is not chivalry, though chivalry is important. Etiquette is respect, R-E-S-P... you know the rest. If you don't have at least some dating etiquette, it is no wonder why you are single, and if you don't find some etiquette pretty damn fast, you probably should not be dating. Don't call me! Alright, I have things to do, it is only going to get hotter and more humid. Wouldn't want to miss that. I will post later after the date to let you know how things went.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Is that a Snickers bar in my pocket?
This afternoon I was in one of my absolutely favorite stores, Hobby Lobby. Everything in there is so beautiful! I love that store. That is not the point I am trying to make so I will move on. Someone I used to go to school with sometime back was also in the store, shopping for something fabulous no doubt. We began to chat and catch up on what has happened since we worked together. Then she gets this strange look in her eye and twitches her mouth to the side. I asked her if she had broccoli for lunch but she said "no". "Are you okay? Is something stuck in your teeth?" I asked her. The she really looked at me strange, and said, "No." But at least then, her face contracted to its normal shape. She continued on, "I was just thinking about this guy in my office who is separated from his wife, he is a nice guy, good job and nice income. You should give him a call." Then it was my turn to give her a strange look on my face and asked, "Why?" Throwing her hands up in the air and then letting them fall to her sides says (with another strange look on her face), "So you can meet him! Maybe you guys can go out on a date or something." I just shook my head and rolled my eyes, reluctantly responding, "Tell me more about him." Then the story began...
"I don't really know that much about him but he is in his early 40's, separated from his wife and kids but I guess he still sees them on the weekends. (She shakes her head this time she is the one rolling her eyes). He works a lot and is kind of shy, he is from India, good looking, average build..." I stop her. "What? What do mean he is from India? Were you just going to throw that in and think I wouldn't notice?" She says with her shoulders pulled up full of tension, shoulders all the way up to her earlobes, "You know, India. You have met people from India before, when we were in college together you used to study with that girl who is from India." "Yeah, I know but I never dated her or anyone else from there, or for that matter, any girl!" Together we had a brief laugh. With one eyebrow raised and her moth cocked to one side, she asked me, "Does it really matter where they are from?" "Well, no I guess not, I have met a few very nice people from India, I just never, I don't know, I just never thought about dating one." With another silly look on her face, she shakes her head and continues on.
It really must have looked like a 'meeting of the minds' standing there in Hobby Lobby making faces and hand gestures back and forth rolling our eyes at each other. So at the end of the description of the guy that she really didn't know much about, she hands me the phone number to his office. Which I stuffed in my pocked next to the half eaten now melted Snickers bar. With a quick waive of the hand to say good bye, I shook my head at myself and mumbled, "India." I continued shopping and never gave it another thought. After getting the things I did need and the things I didn't need, I went to my car, sat in the hot seat and felt the rest of the candy bar spew out of my pocket and onto the seat. Damn! Cleaning it up, the number was with it which at no further thought tossed the chocolate covered and ripped piece of paper into the trash can with what was left of the chocolate bar that wasn't sticking to my hands. Then was on my way home.
LATER... the phone rings and there is a thick Indian accent on the other side of the phone line. Quickly comes to my mind, they are calling to fix my computer, AWESOME! I have been waiting, "2-4 days a representative will contact you." The detached voice on the other phone line asks, "Is this Carrie?" "Yes." I quickly respond because I am glad to FINALLY have the program problem on my computer fixed. I start to go into the problem with the computer that I have to keep shutting it down in order to restart the program and it still runs slow and also my password is not working. After a moment of silence on the phone, I ask, "Hello? Are you still there?" The accent comes back and responds quieter then before. "No, I am calling because I received your number from my co-worker. She said you are single woman and you are free to date man now." (Please, read that sentence with a thick Indian accent in mind) All I could do is think about Abu from the Simpson's. At the end of the sentence, I expected him to ask me if I wanted a slushy with that. Then it also hit me, I probably just insulted this guy. I thought to myself, "CRAP! Now I will have to go out on a date with him because other wise, he will think I don't like people from India." Damn it! After talking to him on the phone for about 5 minutes or so, he says, (again, think of the accent!) "I would like to take you to dinner have drink with you or something and would like to make love to you that day." "EXCUSE ME? What did you say?" I asked with a piercing sound of insult firing from my voice. Then realizing he has said something wrong, he makes an even bigger mistake when he attempts to make up for the first great mistake. He says, "OH, I could pay you $50.00 or something like that." AAaaaaaaggghhhhhhh! I ended the phone call. I was soooo insulted, I can not even believe this guy could even say something like that to a person he has never even met before. My gosh, that is disgusting and completely unbelievable. To make the confusion worse, I wasn't sure if I was more insulted that he actually asked me on the phone to have sex with him the first time I met him, of if I was more insulted that he only wanted to pay me $50.00. What is the going rate? (ha ha Just kidding) I have no idea but DAMN! That takes the friggen cake! I was totally pissed when I got off the phone. Stupid JERK! I can't believe she gave him my phone number and didn't tell me or even ask me. To make matters worse, I didn't get my computer fixed and I am still waiting "2-4 days for a representative to contact me."
"I don't really know that much about him but he is in his early 40's, separated from his wife and kids but I guess he still sees them on the weekends. (She shakes her head this time she is the one rolling her eyes). He works a lot and is kind of shy, he is from India, good looking, average build..." I stop her. "What? What do mean he is from India? Were you just going to throw that in and think I wouldn't notice?" She says with her shoulders pulled up full of tension, shoulders all the way up to her earlobes, "You know, India. You have met people from India before, when we were in college together you used to study with that girl who is from India." "Yeah, I know but I never dated her or anyone else from there, or for that matter, any girl!" Together we had a brief laugh. With one eyebrow raised and her moth cocked to one side, she asked me, "Does it really matter where they are from?" "Well, no I guess not, I have met a few very nice people from India, I just never, I don't know, I just never thought about dating one." With another silly look on her face, she shakes her head and continues on.
It really must have looked like a 'meeting of the minds' standing there in Hobby Lobby making faces and hand gestures back and forth rolling our eyes at each other. So at the end of the description of the guy that she really didn't know much about, she hands me the phone number to his office. Which I stuffed in my pocked next to the half eaten now melted Snickers bar. With a quick waive of the hand to say good bye, I shook my head at myself and mumbled, "India." I continued shopping and never gave it another thought. After getting the things I did need and the things I didn't need, I went to my car, sat in the hot seat and felt the rest of the candy bar spew out of my pocket and onto the seat. Damn! Cleaning it up, the number was with it which at no further thought tossed the chocolate covered and ripped piece of paper into the trash can with what was left of the chocolate bar that wasn't sticking to my hands. Then was on my way home.
LATER... the phone rings and there is a thick Indian accent on the other side of the phone line. Quickly comes to my mind, they are calling to fix my computer, AWESOME! I have been waiting, "2-4 days a representative will contact you." The detached voice on the other phone line asks, "Is this Carrie?" "Yes." I quickly respond because I am glad to FINALLY have the program problem on my computer fixed. I start to go into the problem with the computer that I have to keep shutting it down in order to restart the program and it still runs slow and also my password is not working. After a moment of silence on the phone, I ask, "Hello? Are you still there?" The accent comes back and responds quieter then before. "No, I am calling because I received your number from my co-worker. She said you are single woman and you are free to date man now." (Please, read that sentence with a thick Indian accent in mind) All I could do is think about Abu from the Simpson's. At the end of the sentence, I expected him to ask me if I wanted a slushy with that. Then it also hit me, I probably just insulted this guy. I thought to myself, "CRAP! Now I will have to go out on a date with him because other wise, he will think I don't like people from India." Damn it! After talking to him on the phone for about 5 minutes or so, he says, (again, think of the accent!) "I would like to take you to dinner have drink with you or something and would like to make love to you that day." "EXCUSE ME? What did you say?" I asked with a piercing sound of insult firing from my voice. Then realizing he has said something wrong, he makes an even bigger mistake when he attempts to make up for the first great mistake. He says, "OH, I could pay you $50.00 or something like that." AAaaaaaaggghhhhhhh! I ended the phone call. I was soooo insulted, I can not even believe this guy could even say something like that to a person he has never even met before. My gosh, that is disgusting and completely unbelievable. To make the confusion worse, I wasn't sure if I was more insulted that he actually asked me on the phone to have sex with him the first time I met him, of if I was more insulted that he only wanted to pay me $50.00. What is the going rate? (ha ha Just kidding) I have no idea but DAMN! That takes the friggen cake! I was totally pissed when I got off the phone. Stupid JERK! I can't believe she gave him my phone number and didn't tell me or even ask me. To make matters worse, I didn't get my computer fixed and I am still waiting "2-4 days for a representative to contact me."
A short internal discussion
A brief update from the battlefield of dating. Some of you might be wondering, "Does she have any successful dates?" and the answer, though sometimes it feels like no, the answer is yes. Successful to 100% absolutely not, that is why I am writing this blog. However, let me tell you about one guy, that was beginning to look promising...
To bad he lives far away, that is the beginning factor why it was not successful. And so is the burden of long distance. The man may have been calling me from the sun because, DANG! He is HOT! lol Has a good job and good education, caring, etc So you ask me what went wrong and why did I give up after only a month of daily phone calls. Yup, every day we talked and smiled at each other. Well, I will tell you this my friends, I was beginning to get the feeling this guy is a "playa" or however that is spelled ebonicly speaking. Let me give you his vitals, 5'6" yeah, short I know, very good looking with a nice bod to go with it, gorgeous eyes, master's degree, president of a company that is successful, seemed to have a caring attitude. When I had glass stuck in my foot he was relentless until I finally went to the doctor to have it removed.
So what was it that made me stop taking his calls? It was just some kind of a feeling, you know, it is hard to explain, but besides the distance, that can always be worked out.
But a feeling I had just said to me, "Hey me, is this what you really want?" and I answered to myself, "Yes, self, this is what I want, a smart man who has a good job, is charming, and attentive, etc yeah, this is what I want." Then I retorted back, "Are you sure????" "Yeah, shut up, this is what I want!" Man, sometimes I can be so foolish, what a dumb question! Then I asked myself what do I really feel inside, in my heart and not in my mind, "Myself, what do you feel in your heart and not in your mind?" Then I had to respond truthfully, "Well, in my heart, I think that the distance is too much, I have the feeling that he isn't 100% honest and you know we have been through that before. Plus I haven't seen all of the fruits from his labour, maybe some of them are rotten." Even more importantly, I asked myself, "Self, why are you talking to yourself?" This question I didn't answer, that would have been not right some how. ha ha ha
Besides, in the heat of passion, how would I scream out the name Ralph? Just doesn't seem to work. Oh well... Wish me luck on the next one.
To bad he lives far away, that is the beginning factor why it was not successful. And so is the burden of long distance. The man may have been calling me from the sun because, DANG! He is HOT! lol Has a good job and good education, caring, etc So you ask me what went wrong and why did I give up after only a month of daily phone calls. Yup, every day we talked and smiled at each other. Well, I will tell you this my friends, I was beginning to get the feeling this guy is a "playa" or however that is spelled ebonicly speaking. Let me give you his vitals, 5'6" yeah, short I know, very good looking with a nice bod to go with it, gorgeous eyes, master's degree, president of a company that is successful, seemed to have a caring attitude. When I had glass stuck in my foot he was relentless until I finally went to the doctor to have it removed.
So what was it that made me stop taking his calls? It was just some kind of a feeling, you know, it is hard to explain, but besides the distance, that can always be worked out.
But a feeling I had just said to me, "Hey me, is this what you really want?" and I answered to myself, "Yes, self, this is what I want, a smart man who has a good job, is charming, and attentive, etc yeah, this is what I want." Then I retorted back, "Are you sure????" "Yeah, shut up, this is what I want!" Man, sometimes I can be so foolish, what a dumb question! Then I asked myself what do I really feel inside, in my heart and not in my mind, "Myself, what do you feel in your heart and not in your mind?" Then I had to respond truthfully, "Well, in my heart, I think that the distance is too much, I have the feeling that he isn't 100% honest and you know we have been through that before. Plus I haven't seen all of the fruits from his labour, maybe some of them are rotten." Even more importantly, I asked myself, "Self, why are you talking to yourself?" This question I didn't answer, that would have been not right some how. ha ha ha
Besides, in the heat of passion, how would I scream out the name Ralph? Just doesn't seem to work. Oh well... Wish me luck on the next one.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Phone date with a spider.
Have you heard of these telephone dates? No pun intended...
It is supposed to be a "date" that is on the phone to decide if you want to meet the person for a real date. Call me old fashioned but I thought one must be at least in the same room with someone to be on a date.
On his first attempt to try and impress me he told me he is a motivational speaker. My first thought, another man who thinks he knows something about anything. Normally a man thinks he knows something about EVERYTHING. The last one I was married to told me he was a man of few words, he still hasn't stopped talking. This guy on the phone, continues in a low un-masculine tone about how much money he earns and he is so wealthy and travels around the world, blah blah blah... Then in the very next step tells me he is in school trying to get a degree (which is commendable, no disrespect about school) however, boast about the PELL grant he gets is more than his needs for school so he keeps the extra. I am not a "rock scientist" like Jessica Simpson but I can put two and two together. Eligibility requirements for the Pell grant is low income, college students who can't pay for college. Maybe he should go to school to become a "rock scientist".
One great aspect to a phone date is that you can roll your eyes without restriction. About the 38th time I rolled my eyes, I noticed this spider on the ceiling. I really do not like spiders! Now I have to worry about the spider and where the thing will scurry off to if I look away. Then it does that 'drop swing through the air your scared of me' move that spiders do. I hate that one! Of course, there is not a man around to save me from this spider who has now become monster size in my mind because it knows the Jedi mind trick of how to frighten me. "Maybe if I get a shoe," I think to myself. (as if I am really going to kill it) Just a word of advice, high heel shoes don't work to your advantage when killing a spider, it just makes them more mad and makes them do that spinning in a circle thingy so you really panic, well, at least I did. Every man I ever met that has killed spiders flashes through my mind. Mmmmmm, how did they do it... well, certainly not with a high heeled shoe, at least they better not have used one of mine, I would kill 'em. But for now, let me try to kill this spider. ~~~ Ugh! I tried the broom, that Didn't work! Now I can't find it! Oh my gosh! What if it is still alive!? Now that it is mad at me, it will probably try to come after me, or worse, MY SHOES!!!!!! I have to go find that spider...
Okay, I am back. I found it, it was wounded so I was able to kill it quickly and put it our of its misery. Crisis is over and a certain shoe now feels safe.
Oh, the guy on the phone, nothing, just another loser in the chain of dating what is left over from the landslide of another woman's headache. Believe me the spider was much more interesting, at least I was able to kill him. Good thing it was a phone date. I has happy to not be in the same city with the guy let alone be in the same room. By the way, did I mention the guy turned out to 50 years old! If we were in the same room, he wouldn't have been as lucky as the spider.
It is supposed to be a "date" that is on the phone to decide if you want to meet the person for a real date. Call me old fashioned but I thought one must be at least in the same room with someone to be on a date.
On his first attempt to try and impress me he told me he is a motivational speaker. My first thought, another man who thinks he knows something about anything. Normally a man thinks he knows something about EVERYTHING. The last one I was married to told me he was a man of few words, he still hasn't stopped talking. This guy on the phone, continues in a low un-masculine tone about how much money he earns and he is so wealthy and travels around the world, blah blah blah... Then in the very next step tells me he is in school trying to get a degree (which is commendable, no disrespect about school) however, boast about the PELL grant he gets is more than his needs for school so he keeps the extra. I am not a "rock scientist" like Jessica Simpson but I can put two and two together. Eligibility requirements for the Pell grant is low income, college students who can't pay for college. Maybe he should go to school to become a "rock scientist".
One great aspect to a phone date is that you can roll your eyes without restriction. About the 38th time I rolled my eyes, I noticed this spider on the ceiling. I really do not like spiders! Now I have to worry about the spider and where the thing will scurry off to if I look away. Then it does that 'drop swing through the air your scared of me' move that spiders do. I hate that one! Of course, there is not a man around to save me from this spider who has now become monster size in my mind because it knows the Jedi mind trick of how to frighten me. "Maybe if I get a shoe," I think to myself. (as if I am really going to kill it) Just a word of advice, high heel shoes don't work to your advantage when killing a spider, it just makes them more mad and makes them do that spinning in a circle thingy so you really panic, well, at least I did. Every man I ever met that has killed spiders flashes through my mind. Mmmmmm, how did they do it... well, certainly not with a high heeled shoe, at least they better not have used one of mine, I would kill 'em. But for now, let me try to kill this spider. ~~~ Ugh! I tried the broom, that Didn't work! Now I can't find it! Oh my gosh! What if it is still alive!? Now that it is mad at me, it will probably try to come after me, or worse, MY SHOES!!!!!! I have to go find that spider...
Okay, I am back. I found it, it was wounded so I was able to kill it quickly and put it our of its misery. Crisis is over and a certain shoe now feels safe.
Oh, the guy on the phone, nothing, just another loser in the chain of dating what is left over from the landslide of another woman's headache. Believe me the spider was much more interesting, at least I was able to kill him. Good thing it was a phone date. I has happy to not be in the same city with the guy let alone be in the same room. By the way, did I mention the guy turned out to 50 years old! If we were in the same room, he wouldn't have been as lucky as the spider.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Tired day and as hot as the guys I want to date.
Most of you who know me know that I am computer illegitimate child and do not belong to the technologically informed family. My very good friend Theresa helps me to do just about everything on the damn computer so bare with the incompetent as I journey into the great known (known by everyone except me that is) Internet blogging frontier. Thanks for joining me and I will make a great attempt to remember spell check as I am an even worst speller than I am on picking good dates.
Today I slept over 12 hours and am still completely exhausted. Want to curl up in my bright pink sheets with all my pillows and sleep again but somehow the heat that has apparently come in from the Sahara Desert is making the apartment so hot it would be unable to to. Even my stove is sweating it is so hot. What do you mean, turn on the AC? I don't have AC, besides this is Wisconsin, it will probably have snow showers later today.
Today I slept over 12 hours and am still completely exhausted. Want to curl up in my bright pink sheets with all my pillows and sleep again but somehow the heat that has apparently come in from the Sahara Desert is making the apartment so hot it would be unable to to. Even my stove is sweating it is so hot. What do you mean, turn on the AC? I don't have AC, besides this is Wisconsin, it will probably have snow showers later today.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Beginning of disaster dating
Okay, SWF 35, great smile and wonderful personality. So, why am I dating again at 35??? I am glad you asked because I was planning on telling you anyway.
Was married, or so I thought but life has a funny way of kicking you in the ass of your heart. So anyway, here I am dating again and some of my experiences were so bad, they would have been hilarious if it didn't happen to me. Well, they did and continue to if they didn't, I would be happily married to a tall, good looking sexy man who treated me like a princess and feeds me bonbons. A bit of lobster wouldn't be bad either. Now I eat frozen meals from my tiny ass apartment refrigerator. All alone standing at the kitchen counter.
Could I use a date? Hell yeah, a girl has to eat. Even better, I could use a valuable dating experience that turned into something better than just a attempt to ignore a hair covered mother's mistake that still lives in her basement.
Do you think you can stand to follow and read more, let me begin the trail of the debacle of my current dating experience.
My first blind date, oh yeah, I said it, BLIND-DATE. Normally, I would have declined such obvious bad idea, however, this truly was a blind date. No, the guy wasn't blind but the way he acted, he may as well have been. The call that started the catastrophe, I was told from the unrelenting side of the phone line, " The date has already been set up and the man already contacted. He is waiting for the confirmation call." "WHAT!?" I panicked in a shocked voice. "Why didn't you ask me first?" I spouted as I sprayed the phone receiver with the phlegm from my now gaping mouth. "... or even call me first?" Astounded but not surprised by the response I heard from the smiling voice, "If I would have asked you first, you would have said no."
Not to bore you with the phone call, let me begin to bore you with the boring date. I invented this blog not to entertain you but to make you suffer with me, or at the very least, to laugh with me. First, no introduction, he only walked in, yeah, I said walked in, the door was open because I was outside but he could have knocked and introduced himself. Walked across my living room onto my balcony and looked across the great view of the parking lots. Then announced he was ready and made his way to the door. I called to him, " Please, introduce yourself to me and let me look at your face." In the pick up of the chariot he drove, we almost became a tragic statistic from an auto intersection collision by a FIRE ENGINE that he didn't see or hear. Did I say a blind date? Since I was hesitant of this disaster waiting to unfold, I suggested lunch and not dinner. He didn't pull. out my chair, okay, I will let that slide. He took me to a buffet lunch, for a date! You are kidding me, I thought to myself. Then he continued to complain through the entire lunch about people he knew and the lack of dating possibilities, and let me quote an example. "Okay, so I haven't even kissed a girl in 17 years." He said without eye contact. The lack of eye contact was as consistent as the ideas I had of how the Road Runner would escape this situation if he were the Wiley Coyote. I could only assume and imagine (and I have a good imagination) that the rest of the date would be consistently as bad so after lunch at the "food lovers ignore their dates" buffet, I asked him to take me home. And so ends the blind lunch date of the complaining mis-communicator.
Stay tuned for the next battle in the war of whats left over.
Was married, or so I thought but life has a funny way of kicking you in the ass of your heart. So anyway, here I am dating again and some of my experiences were so bad, they would have been hilarious if it didn't happen to me. Well, they did and continue to if they didn't, I would be happily married to a tall, good looking sexy man who treated me like a princess and feeds me bonbons. A bit of lobster wouldn't be bad either. Now I eat frozen meals from my tiny ass apartment refrigerator. All alone standing at the kitchen counter.
Could I use a date? Hell yeah, a girl has to eat. Even better, I could use a valuable dating experience that turned into something better than just a attempt to ignore a hair covered mother's mistake that still lives in her basement.
Do you think you can stand to follow and read more, let me begin the trail of the debacle of my current dating experience.
My first blind date, oh yeah, I said it, BLIND-DATE. Normally, I would have declined such obvious bad idea, however, this truly was a blind date. No, the guy wasn't blind but the way he acted, he may as well have been. The call that started the catastrophe, I was told from the unrelenting side of the phone line, " The date has already been set up and the man already contacted. He is waiting for the confirmation call." "WHAT!?" I panicked in a shocked voice. "Why didn't you ask me first?" I spouted as I sprayed the phone receiver with the phlegm from my now gaping mouth. "... or even call me first?" Astounded but not surprised by the response I heard from the smiling voice, "If I would have asked you first, you would have said no."
Not to bore you with the phone call, let me begin to bore you with the boring date. I invented this blog not to entertain you but to make you suffer with me, or at the very least, to laugh with me. First, no introduction, he only walked in, yeah, I said walked in, the door was open because I was outside but he could have knocked and introduced himself. Walked across my living room onto my balcony and looked across the great view of the parking lots. Then announced he was ready and made his way to the door. I called to him, " Please, introduce yourself to me and let me look at your face." In the pick up of the chariot he drove, we almost became a tragic statistic from an auto intersection collision by a FIRE ENGINE that he didn't see or hear. Did I say a blind date? Since I was hesitant of this disaster waiting to unfold, I suggested lunch and not dinner. He didn't pull. out my chair, okay, I will let that slide. He took me to a buffet lunch, for a date! You are kidding me, I thought to myself. Then he continued to complain through the entire lunch about people he knew and the lack of dating possibilities, and let me quote an example. "Okay, so I haven't even kissed a girl in 17 years." He said without eye contact. The lack of eye contact was as consistent as the ideas I had of how the Road Runner would escape this situation if he were the Wiley Coyote. I could only assume and imagine (and I have a good imagination) that the rest of the date would be consistently as bad so after lunch at the "food lovers ignore their dates" buffet, I asked him to take me home. And so ends the blind lunch date of the complaining mis-communicator.
Stay tuned for the next battle in the war of whats left over.
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