What are the signs of attention deficit disorder (ADD)? Because I am pretty sure my last date has it. And when I say 'last date', it will definitely be my last date with him. Blah!#$%^&*!
Hey ADD boy, pay attention. Later half way through the date would I realize that he doesn't pay for anything.
He was a pathetic date indeed. Before a date I usually do a quick background search, a girl never knows these days. Well, he failed it miserably. Wow. I was going to cancel the date but out of sheer morbid curiosity, I decided to keep it. First of all, he thought he was a writer often referred to himself as such. And doing so very often. *eye roll* He could barely spell his name. Okay, first we met at a restaurant. We have sandwiches, nothing formal. The conversation was all about him, I Wonder sometime if he thought he was in a therapy session. Talking about how many bad relationships he has been in. Coincidentally, they all involved him, he obviously has not figured out the common denominator. By the way, did I mention I looked up his record. He has quite the attitude and enough restraining orders on him to make Bill Clinton seem innocent.
So during lunch, he talked about himself, a lot, and how he wants to right books about how his previous girlfriends wronged him... WHOA, back up! Did he say that he wants to wright books on how bad his relationships were? Yup, that is what he said. He is a real fun date uh? An idol of idiot worshipers I would say. It has been over an hour into the date had he hasn't even complimented me yet. Hasn't asked me any questions, nothing. I'm not saying the date revolves around me but I think I am taking part in the date. Wait a minute... is that a fat lady I hear singing??? no, I guess not, the date is still going on. Pisser! Ooh, the check is finally here, now I can thank him and go.
The waitress put the check on the table and as she walked away, he slid the check over to me and said, "Thank you for lunch." What the hell?! The look on my face must have been priceless but apparently, lunch wasn't. Okay, just because I didn't want to create a scene and I wanted to bail, I paid the bill. "Okay, yeah, see ya, have a safe drive." I said as I turn to leave and pay the check. Don't bother trying to figure out if he left the tip, he didn't. On my way to my car, I realized he was following me. "Do you need directions to the highway from here?" I asked him. "No, I was going to ask you if you wanted to play pool?" he replied. What? it was almost 2:00 in the afternoon. I tried to come up with a good excuse, "No, I have stuff I have to do, homework." Then he quickly and unwittingly replied without a clue, "Before, you said you didn't have any plans for later today. It is only one game." Ugh! "Are you serious?!" I asked him. "Yeah. I like to play pool." Okay, I guess I felt sorry for the dumb guy, uh, I mean the dumb blank expression on his face. Plus, he did drive a little over an hour to go on a date with me. "Okay." I agreed to play one game of pool.
We went to a near by pool hall. He proudly looks at me with change in his hand and says, "I'll get it." Wow, where was that enthusiasm when it was time to pay for lunch. Anyway, he puts the ball set on the table and he actually flips a coin to see who will break. Are we in the fourth grade? I tried to slid the hint across the table that we needed to order something to drink. "We should probably order something to drink, they wouldn't appreciate it if we just played pool without ordering anything." Okay, ... a real man would have at least stepped up and said, "You're right. What would you like to drink?" and then would have proceeded to the bar keep to get us drinks. What does this Schmuck say? "I don't care what we have as long as you're buying."
Ladies, that is a quote. He actually said that! "What did you say?" I asked him as I whipped my head around with the look of hell fire glowing in my eyes. In a softer calmer voice, "I'm just saying, whatever you want to buy me is fine." he replied with his ears folded back like a scolded dog. I took in a deep breath of irritation and shock, walked up to the bar and looked at the bar keeper. A nice older fellow looked at me as though he has seen this type before, "What can I get you?" He asked with a half smile rounding his face. "A white dove and a bottle of Similac.", I wittingly retorted. "What did you say?" he asked with a confused look and a tilt of his head. I shook of the idea, "A white dove and a class of water please." I responded. "White dove and a glass of water.", he repeated. "No, I guess you better make it two white doves." I said as disappointment crowned my aching head. I looked back at the pool table where prince not-so-charming and not too bright was trying to figure out where the triangle to rack is kept.
I just looked at the bar keeper who was waiting for payment, paid him for the drinks, shook my head and rolled my eyes at the pitiful sight behind me. "Thank you, please keep the change." I went back the table handed him his drink and then plucked the triangle from the place it was hanging just inches from his fat head. I handed it to him, "Looking for this?"
The pool game begins. Now, I am not afraid to admit that I am not very good at pool, in fact, I openly mentioned this to him. When I miss a couple of what I am told by him are "easy shots" he looks at me and says, "You are probably trying to shark me." Oooh, "Yeah," I said. "I am sharking you because I want to pay for lunch." Stupid.
Can he make any more of an ass of himself? Apparently he can. After the game I said "good bye" again and "have a safe trip." I just threw that last one in there to seem nice. At this point, I didn't care if he had a bad trip or not. In fact, I wanted to push him down and not even wait for him to trip. LOL He asks me if I want to kiss him. "No thanks, I don't kiss on the first date." Well, do you want to feel me and see if I have something you like?" UGH! F**ker! I told him, "You better leave before I smack you for being so disrespectful to me!" Then he says, as if that comment didn't come out of his mouth, he says, "Thanks for lunch." All I could say with a pissed off look on my face as violent cartoon images were going through my mind, "You're welcome." Add I left. Can you imagine? That piece of crap actual emailed me a few days later asking me if I want to buy a copy of his book. By the way, did I mention that his "book" was mearly a 30 pages folded in half with staples. Yeah, he just was printing them off himself saying that they were published. Idiot! I blocked him on my email.
