A short internal discussion

A brief update from the battlefield of dating. Some of you might be wondering, "Does she have any successful dates?" and the answer, though sometimes it feels like no, the answer is yes. Successful to 100% absolutely not, that is why I am writing this blog. However, let me tell you about one guy, that was beginning to look promising...
To bad he lives far away, that is the beginning factor why it was not successful. And so is the burden of long distance. The man may have been calling me from the sun because, DANG! He is HOT! lol Has a good job and good education, caring, etc So you ask me what went wrong and why did I give up after only a month of daily phone calls. Yup, every day we talked and smiled at each other. Well, I will tell you this my friends, I was beginning to get the feeling this guy is a "playa" or however that is spelled ebonicly speaking. Let me give you his vitals, 5'6" yeah, short I know, very good looking with a nice bod to go with it, gorgeous eyes, master's degree, president of a company that is successful, seemed to have a caring attitude. When I had glass stuck in my foot he was relentless until I finally went to the doctor to have it removed.
So what was it that made me stop taking his calls? It was just some kind of a feeling, you know, it is hard to explain, but besides the distance, that can always be worked out.
But a feeling I had just said to me, "Hey me, is this what you really want?" and I answered to myself, "Yes, self, this is what I want, a smart man who has a good job, is charming, and attentive, etc yeah, this is what I want." Then I retorted back, "Are you sure????" "Yeah, shut up, this is what I want!" Man, sometimes I can be so foolish, what a dumb question! Then I asked myself what do I really feel inside, in my heart and not in my mind, "Myself, what do you feel in your heart and not in your mind?" Then I had to respond truthfully, "Well, in my heart, I think that the distance is too much, I have the feeling that he isn't 100% honest and you know we have been through that before. Plus I haven't seen all of the fruits from his labour, maybe some of them are rotten." Even more importantly, I asked myself, "Self, why are you talking to yourself?" This question I didn't answer, that would have been not right some how. ha ha ha
Besides, in the heat of passion, how would I scream out the name Ralph? Just doesn't seem to work. Oh well... Wish me luck on the next one.