Phone date with a spider.

Have you heard of these telephone dates? No pun intended...
It is supposed to be a "date" that is on the phone to decide if you want to meet the person for a real date. Call me old fashioned but I thought one must be at least in the same room with someone to be on a date.

On his first attempt to try and impress me he told me he is a motivational speaker. My first thought, another man who thinks he knows something about anything. Normally a man thinks he knows something about EVERYTHING. The last one I was married to told me he was a man of few words, he still hasn't stopped talking. This guy on the phone, continues in a low un-masculine tone about how much money he earns and he is so wealthy and travels around the world, blah blah blah... Then in the very next step tells me he is in school trying to get a degree (which is commendable, no disrespect about school) however, boast about the PELL grant he gets is more than his needs for school so he keeps the extra. I am not a "rock scientist" like Jessica Simpson but I can put two and two together. Eligibility requirements for the Pell grant is low income, college students who can't pay for college. Maybe he should go to school to become a "rock scientist".

One great aspect to a phone date is that you can roll your eyes without restriction. About the 38th time I rolled my eyes, I noticed this spider on the ceiling. I really do not like spiders! Now I have to worry about the spider and where the thing will scurry off to if I look away. Then it does that 'drop swing through the air your scared of me' move that spiders do. I hate that one! Of course, there is not a man around to save me from this spider who has now become monster size in my mind because it knows the Jedi mind trick of how to frighten me. "Maybe if I get a shoe," I think to myself. (as if I am really going to kill it) Just a word of advice, high heel shoes don't work to your advantage when killing a spider, it just makes them more mad and makes them do that spinning in a circle thingy so you really panic, well, at least I did. Every man I ever met that has killed spiders flashes through my mind. Mmmmmm, how did they do it... well, certainly not with a high heeled shoe, at least they better not have used one of mine, I would kill 'em. But for now, let me try to kill this spider. ~~~ Ugh! I tried the broom, that Didn't work! Now I can't find it! Oh my gosh! What if it is still alive!? Now that it is mad at me, it will probably try to come after me, or worse, MY SHOES!!!!!! I have to go find that spider...

Okay, I am back. I found it, it was wounded so I was able to kill it quickly and put it our of its misery. Crisis is over and a certain shoe now feels safe.
Oh, the guy on the phone, nothing, just another loser in the chain of dating what is left over from the landslide of another woman's headache. Believe me the spider was much more interesting, at least I was able to kill him. Good thing it was a phone date. I has happy to not be in the same city with the guy let alone be in the same room. By the way, did I mention the guy turned out to 50 years old! If we were in the same room, he wouldn't have been as lucky as the spider.