I know you have all been at the edge of your uncomfortable computer chairs with the rollers on the bottoms that always get stuck waiting for me to write about the date I had today. Considering most of you are already in bed burning the midnight oil at 7:00, you will have no idea until the morning. First to their computer keys wins... -nothing. Well one thing is for sure, I missed my meeting today in the Bahamas. I was supposed to be crowned Miss. Universe but I was on a date instead so the rest of the world is going to have to wait to see me in a bikini!
A lovely young man, (young meaning he is my age). Hey, I am young and very attractive, just ask me, I will tell you. If you want you can ask me if you are too. I will tell you and I will even give you directions where to go. lol A nice guy from Milwaukee found his way here to see me for our scheduled date that we set up two weeks ago that was postponed until today. Apparently he found out what he would be missing. I assumed he lives alone and dresses himself because he showed up in a T-shirt. The other possibility is that he walked out the door naked and hit a pot smoking dreadlocks wearing hippie on the corner of 1980's St. and Pass-the-Bud Blvd.
T-shirt, minus 1 point! Remembering my name and what I would be wearing, plus 1 point.
I get the points for NOT wearing a T-shirt. A T-shirt? Really, on a first date? Well, at least he wasn't trying to impressing me.
First stop the museum where I work. YEA!!! He is a museum junkie just like me!!! That is plus 100 points! Of course the museum is wonderful, we talked a lot and enjoyed the conversations and it was a compliment that I was able to show off the little bit I know about the job I am supposed to know about a lot. The gardens were really beautiful and because of his field of work, he was also able to show off with what he knew. Either that or he figured out I didn't know squat about the gardens and was just making up stuff to impress me. It was good convo back and forth. After that museum, we went to the other museum. He was so cute, he asked me if I was a docent there. ha ha No, I just have no life and hang out in museums all day.
One thing he did tell me is that he is allergic to dogs and cats. Half of my brain is thinking, damn, my dog sleeps in bed with me guess he won't be going there. The other half of my brain is like, "Hmmmm, if I want to end the date quickly, I can through some dog hair at him or I could roll around in cat pee. " Both of those would have turned out to be pretty unpleasant so it was a good thing I was enjoying the date. On the phone this morning I ate two frozen pancakes from a brightly colored box that had big chunks of snow on it. Thinking he would arrive in time for us to eat lunch. Buuuuuttttt... he apparently had a different idea, and was not hungry. I should start setting up morning dates so then I could at least sometime get a decent breakfast.
Since my car has the dog hair fur lined custom seats, we agreed to take his car. And what a car it is. VERY NICE! Normally I am not some materialist schmuck who can be impressed with a car, unless it is a 1969 or 1972 Mustang. However, this sweet fella drives a sweet ride. He has a burnt orange (original color) 1981 Pontiac T1000. Classic! Hatch back and all Baby! Oh yeah. in the back seat he had square pieces of granite that had this weird rubbery texture paint on it, it was really interesting. An art form he discovered and experimented with, it was actually really cool. Not only does he like art but also does some himself. Oh did I mention that both of us are Pisces? Part of the day it was like talking to a really bad mirror reflection of myself, you know, if I were a guy, wearing a T-shirt. lol
After the museums, we got shakes and I showed him Oshkosh's best kept secret, me. Just kidding, I took him to the old carp ponds, the island and light house and all those really beautiful trees that are perfect for climbing. We walked and talked, a lot, he was so comforting and easy to talk with, I some how couldn't keep my mouth shut. We sat on a tree that was leaned over drank our shakes and just talked. A few times he said something really cute, I wanted to kiss him, but I didn't, but I was thinking about it.
Two museums, shakes, carp ponds, and long conversations... did I mention no bathrooms? No bathrooms! I was starting focus too much on when would be an appropriate break in the conversation to suggest a potty break. Even though it would have been very poor etiquette to jump up and down doing the "Pee pee" dance and try to hide discreetly behind a tree for a moment in time. I had to really think of a non-obvious way to get the heck out of there and back to civilization where I could find a ladies room. Then we started talking about art and my paintings, then I got excited and side tracked about my artwork and offered to show him some of my paintings. Okay, so I forgot I had to go to the bathroom. I showed him many of my paintings, he showed me some of his photography and though it seems like it would take a short amount of time, it took a lot of time. Then guess what I remembered? I still have to go potty! Not being able to fully concentrate, I teased him a bit more about the T-shirt thing and before I knew it the words "Don't worry, I will write you a good review." came flying out of my mouth as if being shot from a cannon. Unfortunately, he was quick enough to catch them in mid flight. So now my brain is in panic and overdrive. Gears were spinning trying to debate which is now more important, that I may have just exposed my blog about bad dates or that I really need to use the restroom and we are still no where close to anything that would have plumbing or a door for privacy. I GOT CONFUSED!!!!
Then it came to me as if it were a gentle song from a birdy flying by. "I am starving, lets go get dinner.", I said. Oh, it was 7:00 pm by this time. Yeah, I was pretty convincing, well, I was hungry but I really had to go, literally. So we got dinner and each of us confessed something. I confessed I blog about my dates and he confessed he... well, I will keep that private for his dignity, and also because he is probably going to read my blog. At any rate, after reading this I may or may not ever see or hear from him again. lol
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