Mommy Dearest

Mostly I am almost sure of what I am looking for in a man. However, that list or personal ideas tend to flex as time moves forward. So much does also flex the list of things I definitely do not want in a man. Men, I still never can understand them. Personally, I don't think they understand themselves either.

Take for example the date I went on this evening. A sweet guy so it would seem, has respect and admiration for his mother. You can tell a lot about a guy in the way he thinks of his mother. In this case, you can also tell a lot about his mother. He talked about her of what an influence she has been on him and that was nice and reassuring that he would be a good date and a strong man with values and respect for women. He continued to talk about her, for quite some time. Even telling me that she planned most of his previous wedding, right down to the colors, order of the wedding party, and the cuff links. WHOA! Let me guess, she probably also planned most of his divorce.

CONTROLLING MOTHER ALERT!!! ERR...ERRR...ERR... CONTROLLING MOTHER ALERT!!! ERR...ERRR...ERR... CAUTION! DO NOT STEP ON UMBILICAL CORD!!! PLEASE BE CAUTIOUS. FOR ELECTRIC SHOCK APRON STRINGS!!! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
CAUTION! CAUTION! CAUTION!

To help change the subject that now had me searching for the fastest escape route out of there, I asked him about himself. What man doesn't like to talk about himself? "Where do you work?" I asked him. "I work at ------. I have been there about five years." Cool, I like a guy with a job. "Do you like working there?" I asked. He responded, "Yeah, I mean it is okay. Not what I was planning to do but my mom works there too. She helped me get the job there. We car pool to work and it helps save on gas and usage for my car."

HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM!
DANGER WILL ROBINSON! DANGER!

Okay, this is getting to be too much. A woman can only handle a guy talking about his mother for so long. I however, didn't see that changing anytime soon. I ran through different topic ideas through my mind to discuss that would leave out the interruption of his memories on nursing but I couldn't come up with anything. The traditional fall back questions for dating leave a lot of room for an intrusive mother even if she is not there.

Where are you from?
What was it like growing up?
Who influences you the most?
What are your plans for the next few years?
What do you enjoy doing in your free time?
What is your favorite food / meal?

Wow, all of those could easily end up with him discussing more of his mother. He even told me that nameof the town she was born in. Do I need to know that for anything in my life? My skin was beginning to crawl and I began to worry if his mother would soon arrive at the restaurant we were in. Or worse! Maybe she was already there? Watching us? I have no idea what she looks like. CREEPY! I asked him what his last name is and much to my relief it is not Bates. Part of me was afraid to ask him what his favorite movie is.

Ah ha, I had the perfect idea, I would fake an illness that I was not feeling well at the same time hoping his mother is not a nurse. Since she works with him, I can safely assume she is not. I pretended to begin not feeling well. As he looked around for a waitress, I discreetly dipped my finger tips into my water glass and gently dabbed my fingers on my forehead to simulate sweating while at the same time licked my palms to give them the feeling of clamminess. I realize it is a bit childish, but look who I am dealing with. I didn't want to make him suspicious or upset him but I wanted to get out of there. His obsession with his mother and one can only assume that it is a mutual obsession, the situation was really was getting weird. I thanked him for his time and apologized I would not be able to stay for dinner, then excused myself from the table and bee lined it for the door. In the parking lot I looked through the window to see if he stayed in the restaurant or left same as I did. Thankfully, he was still there. Trying to take care of things with the waitress no doubt.