How many ways can you spell this guys name? I don't know but my favorite way and, I think, the most accurate, is LOSER. But who am I to say. I am sure once you downed a few gallons of vodka, he might be almost interesting if he were a pinata dangling from the Golden Gate Bridge being peed on by goats. He tells me he would like to go out on a date with me but he doesn't have any money. Now, I appreciate honesty but somethings, you should probably keep somethings to yourself. Surly he didn't expect me to jump up and say, "Alright, that is exactly what I am looking for in a guy!"
Later he emailed me asking if I would like to join him tonight for a couple of drinks. A pub that is close to him since he doesn't have a car. Not another one!? #$%^&*()@#$%^!?!? Okay, whaaaatever! I meet him there he buys me one drink, I buy him one. We begin talking but it seems intellectual conversation is not something he has experienced before. The jokes begin to sputter around the room. He says to me, "I bet I can offend you!" Well, that is a pick-up line I haven't heard before. PUKE! So then he begins telling me offensive jokes that are an affront to the very delicacy of my nature. After his display of mas immaturity blended with a few shots of stupidity, I let him know that I need to go home. He then says, "Okay, you can give me a ride home." WHAT?! UGH! Fine, because I am a nice person, I agree, I drop him in the parking lot of his building. He asks me if I would like to go in with him. "No thank you." I replied.
Then..........OMG! He asks me, "Do you want to check out my package? It is ready." I will let you in on a little clue, he doesn't work for UPS or FED-EX, or even IPS. You can easily arrive to the conclusion of what he was tactlessly suggesting. If he were the very last man on the face of the Earth and there were no suicide options, I still would not be interested in checking out his "package". Disgusting! What is it with guys, do they really think women are just sitting around wondering if a man will go to bed with them? It is no friggen' wonder why many of these guys are single. I mean this guy didn't even have a face a mother could love. Why are men so obsessed with there little Johnsons? I should have asked him if that was a half a roll of Certs in his pocket or if he was just happy to see me.
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