You know, I just want to have a great date with some potential. Sure, I have had a couple of good dates but they usually do something to F**ck it up. I want to meet a man, see that we get along, that we have the same priorities and goals, and that we are happily compatible, fall in love, and live happily ever after or close to happily ever after. Why can I not find that man?
Can you believe a friend of mine actually said, "Carrie, just lower your standards and you'll find someone." Let me be very clear about this, the objective is not to be with someone just to "be with someone". This isn't high school anymore and I don't have time to play games. I have already been through two failed marriages and lost my only child. I don't have the will power to stand by and let someone use me as a door mat just so I can "be with someone". I prefer to be alone if that is the case. And to lower my standards, are my standards and expectations all really that high?
My "standards or expectations"
Loves God
Honesty
Gives and is worthy of respect
Is compassionate and caring
Has a job and is responsible
Treats me good
Won't cheat on me
Volunteers and is involved in helping others
And yes, I would like him to have a healthy sex drive too.
Is all of this really too much to ask? There has to be some physical attraction there too. I don't want to keep a bag over his head the whole time either. And I am sure he would feel the same way about me.
In my perspective, most of these things are traits people need to have to be a decent human being. So I don't think my standards are rally all that high. I am just asking for someone like me who is an upstanding person. I am not saying perfect because the world knows I am not perfect but my morals are pretty high.
As for what I am not looking for? Well, I sure you have read enough bad dates to easily see what I am NOT looking for. I am finding an awful lot of what I am not looking for.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
Lonliness comes in a tall package
When I arrived at the restaurant, he already had a table for us. He was sipping a cool margarita and was waiting with a long stem American beauty rose by his side.
A rose, that is a nice touch. I haven't received flowers in so long, I forgot what they smelled like. He stood up to great me. He had a tall self-conscious physique, broad shoulders, beautiful eyes, and a handsome smile.
He was so nervous his hands shook a little when gestured as he spoke in a quiet timid voice. Even though he had had almost 15 minutes looking at the menu he still didn't know what to order and just ordered the same as I did.
The man was very gentle and shy, being a widower, he was looking for someone to marry and continue on with his life. He talked very kindly of his late wife. I could tell he loved her very much. I can see he is a kind loving person and is looking for completion in his life. I am looking for that too, completion. Many arrogant and stupid people go about their lives thinking that relationships and marriage are about "wanting" and not "needing" but truly, it is seeking completion. God did not create us for us to be alone, The Bible is very clear on that. If the person you are with doesn't complete you, you are probably with the wrong person.
My heart goes out to this guy. From where I am sitting, he is a great guy but he has his life settled here in Wisconsin and the fist chance I get, I am out of here.
After dinner we saw a movie, he is nice, shy, and very kind. He kept asking me if I was comfortable and if he talked too much, etc. He was trying so hard to be a perfect date. Lord, please bless this man with the second woman you created for him.
A rose, that is a nice touch. I haven't received flowers in so long, I forgot what they smelled like. He stood up to great me. He had a tall self-conscious physique, broad shoulders, beautiful eyes, and a handsome smile.
He was so nervous his hands shook a little when gestured as he spoke in a quiet timid voice. Even though he had had almost 15 minutes looking at the menu he still didn't know what to order and just ordered the same as I did.
The man was very gentle and shy, being a widower, he was looking for someone to marry and continue on with his life. He talked very kindly of his late wife. I could tell he loved her very much. I can see he is a kind loving person and is looking for completion in his life. I am looking for that too, completion. Many arrogant and stupid people go about their lives thinking that relationships and marriage are about "wanting" and not "needing" but truly, it is seeking completion. God did not create us for us to be alone, The Bible is very clear on that. If the person you are with doesn't complete you, you are probably with the wrong person.
My heart goes out to this guy. From where I am sitting, he is a great guy but he has his life settled here in Wisconsin and the fist chance I get, I am out of here.
After dinner we saw a movie, he is nice, shy, and very kind. He kept asking me if I was comfortable and if he talked too much, etc. He was trying so hard to be a perfect date. Lord, please bless this man with the second woman you created for him.
Running a marathon alone
I was very much taken off guard by what he was saying in the email. He seriously needs to Sssllloooooowwwwwwwwww doooowwwwnn.
He called me later in the evening and we talked a little bit in the phone. I informed him that I wear hearing aids and I have a hard time hearing him on the phone so he spoke up that I might hear him better.
I understand that he is lonely because he is a widower and I genuinely feel sympathy for him. He just seems to be trying so hard and rushing things so fast. I mean, I haven't even met the guy yet in person. We have only talked on the phone twice and he thinks he is already developing feelings for me. It is a little intimidating and a little disturbing if I do say so myself.
We have a date set up for tomorrow and I will make it very clear to him that he is rushing things. I told him a number of times on the phone that he needs to settle down that he doesn't even know me. If this guy isn't careful, and gets mixed up with a bad woman, he could be taken advantage of terribly. Poor thing. Hey, I have a soft heart for helpless animals.
He called me later in the evening and we talked a little bit in the phone. I informed him that I wear hearing aids and I have a hard time hearing him on the phone so he spoke up that I might hear him better.
I understand that he is lonely because he is a widower and I genuinely feel sympathy for him. He just seems to be trying so hard and rushing things so fast. I mean, I haven't even met the guy yet in person. We have only talked on the phone twice and he thinks he is already developing feelings for me. It is a little intimidating and a little disturbing if I do say so myself.
We have a date set up for tomorrow and I will make it very clear to him that he is rushing things. I told him a number of times on the phone that he needs to settle down that he doesn't even know me. If this guy isn't careful, and gets mixed up with a bad woman, he could be taken advantage of terribly. Poor thing. Hey, I have a soft heart for helpless animals.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Quiet phone date
A man that has been trying to get contact me through a dating site online but honestly, these days I am just so busy. I felt bad and wanted to send him an email that I was not ignoring him but was just busy. Since I am new to this website, I sent a VIP email to him to say I didn't forget and wasn't ignoring him that I would contact him later in the week. I thought, that V.I.P. meant very important but apparently on this site it means, "Very Interested Person" Oops!
I saw that he was online so I called the number he sent me in an email. His voice was very quiet on the phone. Fortunately he talked a lot so I didn't have to. I think he was mostly walking about himself, his family, what he was interested in, etc. It was difficult for me to understand. It was a little late in the evening also so I had an good reason to get off the phone. He seem nice though, polite, plus, he is tall and bald just how I like them!
The email he sent me the next day ***
I saw that he was online so I called the number he sent me in an email. His voice was very quiet on the phone. Fortunately he talked a lot so I didn't have to. I think he was mostly walking about himself, his family, what he was interested in, etc. It was difficult for me to understand. It was a little late in the evening also so I had an good reason to get off the phone. He seem nice though, polite, plus, he is tall and bald just how I like them!
The email he sent me the next day ***
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Stu-st-st--stu-stu-stutter
Another online match disaster. This one, we chatted a few times online and agreed to meet up for a non-alcoholic beverage. He called me for directions but I couldn't hear him because his phone kept cutting out. I said, "Your phone keeps cutting out, i can't understand you. Can you hear me?" "Yeah..." he responded. I said, "Okay, if you can hear me clearly, I will just give you the directions and we can meet there."
I gave him the directions and we meet at the pub. When we saw each other we greeted each other with a handshake and said hello then found a table. When he began talking, I was shocked, it wasn't his cell phone that kept cutting out, he has a stutter! Holy shit! How am I supposed to understand this guy??? He never told me he had a stutter. What's worse, I don't think he realizes he has a stutter. He never made any comment about it. As a Deaf and hard-of-hearing (HOH) person, I do depend a lot on lip reading. It was impossible to lip read this guys st-st-st-stutter. He was cute but just difficult to understand him, the communication level was not even in the door. He was cute and nice to look at but if he could just stop talking! Texting he was a normal person but in real person at real time, not so much. This was a case where technology truly helps this guy. I felt so bad, I even paid for the drinks. Now you know that is pity. lol
After the date he texted me, "You should send me picture to my phone I think your pretty." I think he is kind of a freak. I could have done without that. Who wants photos of people they just met on their phone?
The next day he text me and said, "What did you think of me?" Yeah, that's what he said. No "Hi, Hello, or How are you?" He was very direct and wanted an answer to his self directed and individually focused question. So I told him straight, "I think you are nice & very cute. It is difficult 4 me 2 understand you though because my hearing." I didn't want him to feel bad so I just put it on me.
He responded, "That's ok. Its hard for you to understand people?" As if it was all me! I wanted to be Frank and tell him that has big damn stutter and that has a lot to do with it. But Since I am better at being me, at being Carrie and not Frank, instead of stating what was obvious to everyone except to him, Mr. swimming in the deNile river, I simply said, "Yes, it is because I am Deaf and HOH. I read lips." Then he continues, "It must be really hard for you." I answered, "Sometimes."
He text me me back, "I think you're very nice and very pretty. It as nice to give you a hug."
I gave him the directions and we meet at the pub. When we saw each other we greeted each other with a handshake and said hello then found a table. When he began talking, I was shocked, it wasn't his cell phone that kept cutting out, he has a stutter! Holy shit! How am I supposed to understand this guy??? He never told me he had a stutter. What's worse, I don't think he realizes he has a stutter. He never made any comment about it. As a Deaf and hard-of-hearing (HOH) person, I do depend a lot on lip reading. It was impossible to lip read this guys st-st-st-stutter. He was cute but just difficult to understand him, the communication level was not even in the door. He was cute and nice to look at but if he could just stop talking! Texting he was a normal person but in real person at real time, not so much. This was a case where technology truly helps this guy. I felt so bad, I even paid for the drinks. Now you know that is pity. lol
After the date he texted me, "You should send me picture to my phone I think your pretty." I think he is kind of a freak. I could have done without that. Who wants photos of people they just met on their phone?
The next day he text me and said, "What did you think of me?" Yeah, that's what he said. No "Hi, Hello, or How are you?" He was very direct and wanted an answer to his self directed and individually focused question. So I told him straight, "I think you are nice & very cute. It is difficult 4 me 2 understand you though because my hearing." I didn't want him to feel bad so I just put it on me.
He responded, "That's ok. Its hard for you to understand people?" As if it was all me! I wanted to be Frank and tell him that has big damn stutter and that has a lot to do with it. But Since I am better at being me, at being Carrie and not Frank, instead of stating what was obvious to everyone except to him, Mr. swimming in the deNile river, I simply said, "Yes, it is because I am Deaf and HOH. I read lips." Then he continues, "It must be really hard for you." I answered, "Sometimes."
He text me me back, "I think you're very nice and very pretty. It as nice to give you a hug."
My new straight "gay-guy" friend
Remember I wrote about this guy that is super nice but we're not relationshipable? Yeah, I just invented that word. lol We have become friends and hanging out sometimes. Yeah, I know I am playing with fire here because I know he likes me but he is a nice friend too.
It has been made VERY clear that we're not relationshipable but we can be friends. So I actually feel more comfortable because he knows that the line stays at friendship. It is like have a that gay best friend almost every woman needs except this guy is straight. lol
We went to dinner and a movie. I know I eat slow but he eats so fast. Since it is so obvious, we talk about it sometimes. On our recent date...uh... get together...hang out...together. Okay, that's weird, what do I call it now??? Anyway, this time when he finished way before me, he waited for me to finish and didn't make me feel rushed.
We went to a movie and just had a nice time together. I like hanging out with him because he is so nice and likes doing fun things. He is pretty shy though, I am hoping I can get him out of that, he is beginning to open up and talk more. He is really funny. I almost feel selfish about keeping him to myself. I truly hope that he finds a great woman in his life because he is really a great guy but important factor for each of us don't match up. He has great eyes too. *smile* I am glad we can be friends. At least I have found a friend in this monster filled sewer of dates.
It has been made VERY clear that we're not relationshipable but we can be friends. So I actually feel more comfortable because he knows that the line stays at friendship. It is like have a that gay best friend almost every woman needs except this guy is straight. lol
We went to dinner and a movie. I know I eat slow but he eats so fast. Since it is so obvious, we talk about it sometimes. On our recent date...uh... get together...hang out...together. Okay, that's weird, what do I call it now??? Anyway, this time when he finished way before me, he waited for me to finish and didn't make me feel rushed.
We went to a movie and just had a nice time together. I like hanging out with him because he is so nice and likes doing fun things. He is pretty shy though, I am hoping I can get him out of that, he is beginning to open up and talk more. He is really funny. I almost feel selfish about keeping him to myself. I truly hope that he finds a great woman in his life because he is really a great guy but important factor for each of us don't match up. He has great eyes too. *smile* I am glad we can be friends. At least I have found a friend in this monster filled sewer of dates.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Finally dinner
After two coffee and tea dates the infamous Pumpkin-head and I set up a dinner date. As I walked into the restaurant I received a text from him saying that he was running late and would be arriving in about 20 minutes. I told him, "No worries, I will wait for you." Then I asked him, "Do you want me to start a tab for you? You want to buy everyone a round of drinks right?!" He text me back, "Definitely"
I don't know what it is about this guy, if you have any advise, please write in to me because I think I need some good advise about this. He seems so mysterious. As I always call him elusive. We discussed that over dinner too. But there is something about this guy that has me wondering. Any other guy that has or would have been as elusive like this one, I would have cut him loose right away but its like he has me under this charm spell. I don't know what it is. But I just have this gut feeling that he is hiding something.
He arrives at the restaurant in his suit and tie from work and he looks just as dashing as always. We found a table and to my streak of bad luck it was right under the speaker so we moved to another table that wasn't in stereo. I gave him the solar powered key chain that I got for him while I was on vacation. He laughed and said, "Thanks for getting me a solar powered key chain; now I don't have to plug my keys in at night." We laughed and then placed our order. Much to my surprise, he eats slower than I do and he didn't even touch his sandwich. He was so busy chatting and talking. I don't really remember much of the conversation though.
Suddenly a man appeared at our table and gave his greetings to my date. It was a man from his work. He didn't introduce me to him. The man just said hello and informed the guy I was with that a group of the men from work were at the bar there at the restaurant. My date told him that he would stop over before he left the restaurant.
After we finished out early dinner we went to the hostess station at the bar for him to pay the tab and he also talked to his friends from work. I just stepped back, I didn't want to intrude with their conversation.
We walked out to the parking lot, I was parked further at the end of the lot and he was closer to the door. He walked me to my car, I said thanks and he gave me a really long hug, he didn't want to let go. I was thinking, "Mmm...he is going to kiss me." But he didn't. He just said how nice it was to see me and he looked forward to the next time we would get together. Then he said good-bye and walked away. I was a little disappointed that I didn't get that kiss I was hoping for. I began driving through the parking lot and also saw him driving thought the parking lot and thought to myself, "I am going to get that kiss." I stopped my car, walked over to him and he stopped his car. He opened the door and said, "That was weired. What's up?" Without saying a word, I leaned in and gave him a kiss. The softly said, "Thank you." and I walked back to my car, never looking back at him. Then I left.
I don't know what it is about this guy, if you have any advise, please write in to me because I think I need some good advise about this. He seems so mysterious. As I always call him elusive. We discussed that over dinner too. But there is something about this guy that has me wondering. Any other guy that has or would have been as elusive like this one, I would have cut him loose right away but its like he has me under this charm spell. I don't know what it is. But I just have this gut feeling that he is hiding something.
He arrives at the restaurant in his suit and tie from work and he looks just as dashing as always. We found a table and to my streak of bad luck it was right under the speaker so we moved to another table that wasn't in stereo. I gave him the solar powered key chain that I got for him while I was on vacation. He laughed and said, "Thanks for getting me a solar powered key chain; now I don't have to plug my keys in at night." We laughed and then placed our order. Much to my surprise, he eats slower than I do and he didn't even touch his sandwich. He was so busy chatting and talking. I don't really remember much of the conversation though.
Suddenly a man appeared at our table and gave his greetings to my date. It was a man from his work. He didn't introduce me to him. The man just said hello and informed the guy I was with that a group of the men from work were at the bar there at the restaurant. My date told him that he would stop over before he left the restaurant.
After we finished out early dinner we went to the hostess station at the bar for him to pay the tab and he also talked to his friends from work. I just stepped back, I didn't want to intrude with their conversation.
We walked out to the parking lot, I was parked further at the end of the lot and he was closer to the door. He walked me to my car, I said thanks and he gave me a really long hug, he didn't want to let go. I was thinking, "Mmm...he is going to kiss me." But he didn't. He just said how nice it was to see me and he looked forward to the next time we would get together. Then he said good-bye and walked away. I was a little disappointed that I didn't get that kiss I was hoping for. I began driving through the parking lot and also saw him driving thought the parking lot and thought to myself, "I am going to get that kiss." I stopped my car, walked over to him and he stopped his car. He opened the door and said, "That was weired. What's up?" Without saying a word, I leaned in and gave him a kiss. The softly said, "Thank you." and I walked back to my car, never looking back at him. Then I left.
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