Museums are a great past time for me which I thoroughly enjoy. I am a self proclaimed "museum junky" I like museums of all kinds. My love for museums is no secret and it is also on my dating profile. There are a million things that could be worse. Well, I was about to find out how a love for museums could back fire.
A date with a person that I have known through another person. I had met them a number of times through our common friend so I was able to trust this person's intent. So when he asked me out on a date, I accepted. He said that he wanted to go on a date that would not be "typical" but something I would enjoy. But, it was a surprise. Okay, I'm game. I enjoy taking new adventures and seeing something interesting.
He picked me up and told me to be prepared that it was a bit of a drive. "You are going to bring me home right?" I jokingly asked but was looking for the correct answer. He looked at me and said, "Yes, of course I am going to bring you home. I'm not going to leave you there." I smiled and said, "Just checking."
Later we stopped for a bite to eat, he was right, it was a long drive. So I knew he must be excited to take me to this place that he was "sure I would like". He was willing to take just about an entire day making plans and driving me all the way. I teased and asked him where he was taking me. Begging for little clues was finally beginning to break him down. The clues he gave me were, "Some place I probably hadn't gone to before", "A unique and interesting place", "A tourist attraction where people come from all over to see" I was beginning to get excited. "Come on, just tell me where it is." I protested with a smile on my face. He told me, "Last clue, I am taking you to a museum." Whoo hoo! I love museums. I was excited and satisfied with the last clue that we were going to a museum. I didn't need anymore clues, that was enough for me. If we were going to a museum, one, I probably have already been there and two, I would like to see a museum that I hadn't been to before. I sat quietly with a smile the rest of the trip. I enjoyed the scenery on the beautiful drive. Having been told that we were going to a museum, I was satisfied and didn't ask anymore questions.
What a surprise! And not a good one either. We got to the museum alright, The Museum and Fishing Hall of Fame. What the hell? A fishing museum?????? Come on. Is this a joke? Are there hidden cameras every where?! I'm on Candid Camera right?! Am I being punked? No? Are you sure? I'm not being set up on a practical joke? This is really the museum he thought I would like? :( I've been tricked! A fishing museum?! I want a new date, can I chose what's behind door number three instead? Awwww...man! Now I have to pretend to enjoy this so he doesn't feel bad.
Oh look, there is a big fish, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another. How have I survived my entire life without having been here to the Fishing Hall of Fame? I guess now I have truly lived. (Not) Haven't I mentioned before that I hate fishing? I thought I did. Mmmmm....
There is even a big fish you can walk into. Well, this is a first! I have never in my whole life ever walked into the anus of a fish. You walk in its anus and you can stand inside of its mouth. Wait, it gets better. To leave, you go in the other direction. That's right! You walk through its mouth, down its throat and out its anus. Yes ladies and gentlemen, a real way to impress a woman on a date is to make her feel as though she has been pooped out by a giant fish! Now I know how my fish sandwich feels. It gives me a whole new perspective on Friday fish fry.
"So, what did you think?" he innocently asked me. I gave him a big smile and said, "No one has ever taken me to a fishing museum before. This is interesting."
I didn't lie. But he was so excited, I just couldn't break his heart. Plus, it was a long walk home.
Men: sometimes it's cute how dumb they are. Just like little puppies. They are so cute but they keep trying to hump your leg. Let's not even begin to discuss the whining they do. That they don't seem to grow out of that.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Bowling boy
Okay, I did something I didn't want to do but I felt there was no choice. I went on a second date with bowling pin-head. There was no way around it, at least that is what I have been telling myself. He keeps sending me daily emails, bowling updates/scores, and inviting me to watch him bowl. Why would I ever want to do that? I thought the only way to get him to stop would be to go on another date with him and try to clarify that I do not have any interest in bowling. That was more of a challenge than I thought it would be. Some times, I am just too damn nice.
We met at a restaurant for a late lunch. He was so excited to tell me about his trip to Las Vegas for the big bowling tournament. I was so excited I could just spit. So while he told me about the trip and mostly what a debacle it actually turned out to be, without missing a beat was back on the conversation of his bowling schedule.
Lord help me to be patient even when the topic of bowling is constantly in the room.
His bowling schedule, the bowling schedule for his kids, (they also bowl) and he even told me the bowling schedule of his "soon to be ex-wife". WHY? "So everyone bowls?" I asked him. An obvious question hoping to bring it into perspective for him. He didn't find it odd at all, not even the tiniest bit unusual. FREAK! He still refers to himself with his "soon to be ex-wife" as "we". Okay, whatever, I can understand that is difficult habit to break. I even catch myself doing the same thing from time to time.
He told me that they (him and his wife) went furniture shopping together. That's kind of weird. He said that he was considering getting his own bed. So, that clearly means, he is not even separated from his "soon to be ex-wife". They are still together. So why is he trying to date other women? Some people are just so damn afraid to be alone for even a minute. I asked for a to-go box for the rest of my meal and told him I needed to get going. I knew he was pathetic from the very moment he expressed his life's ambition of bowling but I don't want to encourage his behavior. I prefer to leave him in the bowling alley, or any alley for that matter.
We met at a restaurant for a late lunch. He was so excited to tell me about his trip to Las Vegas for the big bowling tournament. I was so excited I could just spit. So while he told me about the trip and mostly what a debacle it actually turned out to be, without missing a beat was back on the conversation of his bowling schedule.
Lord help me to be patient even when the topic of bowling is constantly in the room.
His bowling schedule, the bowling schedule for his kids, (they also bowl) and he even told me the bowling schedule of his "soon to be ex-wife". WHY? "So everyone bowls?" I asked him. An obvious question hoping to bring it into perspective for him. He didn't find it odd at all, not even the tiniest bit unusual. FREAK! He still refers to himself with his "soon to be ex-wife" as "we". Okay, whatever, I can understand that is difficult habit to break. I even catch myself doing the same thing from time to time.
He told me that they (him and his wife) went furniture shopping together. That's kind of weird. He said that he was considering getting his own bed. So, that clearly means, he is not even separated from his "soon to be ex-wife". They are still together. So why is he trying to date other women? Some people are just so damn afraid to be alone for even a minute. I asked for a to-go box for the rest of my meal and told him I needed to get going. I knew he was pathetic from the very moment he expressed his life's ambition of bowling but I don't want to encourage his behavior. I prefer to leave him in the bowling alley, or any alley for that matter.
Lip reading speech problems
I went on a lunch date with a guy who has a speech impediment. I do wear hearing aids but I still rely heavily on lip reading. Trying to lip read a person with a lisp or speech impediment is probably more difficult than lip reading a person from the south with the ever so popular southern drawl. He sat across the table from me his tongue stayed at the roof of his mouth after each word or it was pressed to his teeth, making it difficult to see where words began and ended. I hate to nit pick but the ability to understand each other is vital.
After a while it became a little nerve racking so I was happy when our meals arrived at our table then he could stop talking and eat. It would be great if everyone knew sign language. lol
Communication is just too difficult with this guy. I won't even have to worry about his height. Yeah, he is about five inches shorter than me. I like tall men but ones that much shorter than me, that is just weird!
After a while it became a little nerve racking so I was happy when our meals arrived at our table then he could stop talking and eat. It would be great if everyone knew sign language. lol
Communication is just too difficult with this guy. I won't even have to worry about his height. Yeah, he is about five inches shorter than me. I like tall men but ones that much shorter than me, that is just weird!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Things that should have been left behind
Dating sucks as any of you who read and follow this blog already know. I still haven't found the love of my life, the new man I would like to marry or even at the very least, I haven't even found my next ex-husband yet. lol But no one is so rich as to throw away a friend. Or so I read in the movies.
Through this, I have met someone who is getting close to that friend category. We just hang out sometimes but I can see perhaps a friendship beginning. After I returned from my trip during spring break, he took me out to dinner and we talked a bit more. It is still in the uncomfortable stage of the beginning. You know beginnings are always scary and endings are usually sad but its the part in the middle that counts.
Beginnings in new relationships whether it be a working relationship, a friend relationship, or a romantic relationship, the beginning is normally awkward because you are still learning a lot about each other. We all live on this big living breathing rock and we can't expand anymore so we have got to learn to seek what it truth and righteous only by that will we be able to come together. Until then, we are all just walking around bumping into cold emotional walls or hormonal lakes of sinking sand. It would be wise if we knew which of the two we were walking into before it was too late and we were already suffering the consequences of our blindness.
So now I had to go into the "I only like you as a friend" speech which is always uncomfortable; I think for everyone. But at least it is not the dreaded and pathological, "It's not you, it's me speech." How pathetic is that one? I must say it is hands down the most irrational and deranged oxymoron result with the least bit of tact that our modern society spew upon the dating culture. Yes, it is post-modern culture now, I am up with the times but even so, the hauntings of the recent past still loom if not only in our minds but in our television screens as well which by the way, our Y2K generation thinks it is totally original. Apparently no one has yet ventured or gotten around to telling them that they are just putting on the product of the bowels of the 1980's.
We couldn't wait for the 1980's to be over so we could party like it is 1999. Now it is 2010 and we still want to party like it's 1999. When they brought back the sequence T-shirts and the leg-warmers, let's all be thankful the stone washed jeans weren't right behind them. No matter how I denied it, I knew I was getting old when I heard Bruce Springsteen a.k.a. The Boss, being played on the oldies radio channel. Somethings just shouldn't be done and that is one of them. At least Billy Idol hasn't ever aged, he looks the very same now as he did 30 years ago. Thank you Billy Idol for giving us all hope.
Through this, I have met someone who is getting close to that friend category. We just hang out sometimes but I can see perhaps a friendship beginning. After I returned from my trip during spring break, he took me out to dinner and we talked a bit more. It is still in the uncomfortable stage of the beginning. You know beginnings are always scary and endings are usually sad but its the part in the middle that counts.
Beginnings in new relationships whether it be a working relationship, a friend relationship, or a romantic relationship, the beginning is normally awkward because you are still learning a lot about each other. We all live on this big living breathing rock and we can't expand anymore so we have got to learn to seek what it truth and righteous only by that will we be able to come together. Until then, we are all just walking around bumping into cold emotional walls or hormonal lakes of sinking sand. It would be wise if we knew which of the two we were walking into before it was too late and we were already suffering the consequences of our blindness.
So now I had to go into the "I only like you as a friend" speech which is always uncomfortable; I think for everyone. But at least it is not the dreaded and pathological, "It's not you, it's me speech." How pathetic is that one? I must say it is hands down the most irrational and deranged oxymoron result with the least bit of tact that our modern society spew upon the dating culture. Yes, it is post-modern culture now, I am up with the times but even so, the hauntings of the recent past still loom if not only in our minds but in our television screens as well which by the way, our Y2K generation thinks it is totally original. Apparently no one has yet ventured or gotten around to telling them that they are just putting on the product of the bowels of the 1980's.
We couldn't wait for the 1980's to be over so we could party like it is 1999. Now it is 2010 and we still want to party like it's 1999. When they brought back the sequence T-shirts and the leg-warmers, let's all be thankful the stone washed jeans weren't right behind them. No matter how I denied it, I knew I was getting old when I heard Bruce Springsteen a.k.a. The Boss, being played on the oldies radio channel. Somethings just shouldn't be done and that is one of them. At least Billy Idol hasn't ever aged, he looks the very same now as he did 30 years ago. Thank you Billy Idol for giving us all hope.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Bowling call with a spider
On the phone with the bowling pin-head getting the updates on his bowling scores and life in the bowling fast-lane. What is going on in the bowling world you ask? I don't know but if I gave a shit, I would definitely give it to this guy.
As I was talking on the phone, I looked up at the ceiling and low and be hold, a frickin' spider was sitting in the corner about five feet from me. I think it saw me looking at it too because it looked right at me. Damn it! I am thinking to myself, "RUN!" But I was on the phone with bowling guy. I had to have a phone date with him because he has been sending me so many emails. A sane woman can only handle so many emails of bowling up-dates, in fact, they were starting to make me insane. :p
I said to bowling boy, "Oh my gosh! There is a spider right on the wall!!!! I hate spiders!" Then you know as soon as I mentioned out loud the spider's presence was no longer a secret, that little bastard started running. That thing was running so fast like it was running on eight legs or something. I screamed, dropped the phone. Picked it up, jumped back, told bowling boy to hold on. I put the phone down and got a shoe. Not one of my high heels either, I learned from the last time. I went into the hallway outside of my apartment and got the biggest shoe I could find. I didn't care who's it was either. I came back and what do you know, it was hiding. Great! Now I am looking all over for it.
I picked up the phone and gave him the update of the imposing spider. Then my hair must have moved a little bit; I felt something tickle on my hand that I was using to hold the phone. I jumped, let out a little panicked scream, threw the phone down and neurotically brushed off my hands and arms, shook out my shirt, and tousled my hair with my head upside down to make sure the spider was not on me. Then I saw it on the wall. Okay so maybe I panicked just a little bit but you didn't see that spider!
I picked up the worn out shoe. I was apprehensive but determined. The spider was still for a moment but my mind was racing and the shoe was getting heavy. I was worried about my aim. I was now standing only two feet from the spotted speed demon. It was so arrogant, it took off. I jumped into action, I jumped back and stared talking to my self, "I can do this, I can do this." Now it was running down the wall so close I could SMACK it. Here goes, SMACK! Oh crap, I missed it and now it's gone. Ugh, why does this always happen to me??? Oh my gosh, it was hanging from the shoe by its web. I screamed again, hit it against the wall and it fell to the floor. It was still moving but not much, it was defiantly still alive but wounded, or so it wanted me to think. It probably was going to wait until I got close then jump up and say. "Gotcha!" I didn't give it the chance, I reached down and with all my might, I smashed that spider into the middle of next week! Then I returned the big over sized shoe to the hallway with the spider still attached. Wasn't my shoe! I certainly wasn't going to have a funeral for the spider.
I came back into my apartment and there on the desk was the phone. Ooops! I guess I forgot about that one little ever so tiny detail. I picked up the phone and brought it to my ear where I could hear tears of laughter. He was laughing so hard. I said with a coy voice, "I got it." He just continued to laugh as he asked, "All of that for a spider?!" I still had goose bumps from the whole ordeal. He had tears in his eyes he was laughing so hard. I definitely need to date someone who is better at handling situations like these. Any single exterminators out there?
As I was talking on the phone, I looked up at the ceiling and low and be hold, a frickin' spider was sitting in the corner about five feet from me. I think it saw me looking at it too because it looked right at me. Damn it! I am thinking to myself, "RUN!" But I was on the phone with bowling guy. I had to have a phone date with him because he has been sending me so many emails. A sane woman can only handle so many emails of bowling up-dates, in fact, they were starting to make me insane. :p
I said to bowling boy, "Oh my gosh! There is a spider right on the wall!!!! I hate spiders!" Then you know as soon as I mentioned out loud the spider's presence was no longer a secret, that little bastard started running. That thing was running so fast like it was running on eight legs or something. I screamed, dropped the phone. Picked it up, jumped back, told bowling boy to hold on. I put the phone down and got a shoe. Not one of my high heels either, I learned from the last time. I went into the hallway outside of my apartment and got the biggest shoe I could find. I didn't care who's it was either. I came back and what do you know, it was hiding. Great! Now I am looking all over for it.
I picked up the phone and gave him the update of the imposing spider. Then my hair must have moved a little bit; I felt something tickle on my hand that I was using to hold the phone. I jumped, let out a little panicked scream, threw the phone down and neurotically brushed off my hands and arms, shook out my shirt, and tousled my hair with my head upside down to make sure the spider was not on me. Then I saw it on the wall. Okay so maybe I panicked just a little bit but you didn't see that spider!
I picked up the worn out shoe. I was apprehensive but determined. The spider was still for a moment but my mind was racing and the shoe was getting heavy. I was worried about my aim. I was now standing only two feet from the spotted speed demon. It was so arrogant, it took off. I jumped into action, I jumped back and stared talking to my self, "I can do this, I can do this." Now it was running down the wall so close I could SMACK it. Here goes, SMACK! Oh crap, I missed it and now it's gone. Ugh, why does this always happen to me??? Oh my gosh, it was hanging from the shoe by its web. I screamed again, hit it against the wall and it fell to the floor. It was still moving but not much, it was defiantly still alive but wounded, or so it wanted me to think. It probably was going to wait until I got close then jump up and say. "Gotcha!" I didn't give it the chance, I reached down and with all my might, I smashed that spider into the middle of next week! Then I returned the big over sized shoe to the hallway with the spider still attached. Wasn't my shoe! I certainly wasn't going to have a funeral for the spider.
I came back into my apartment and there on the desk was the phone. Ooops! I guess I forgot about that one little ever so tiny detail. I picked up the phone and brought it to my ear where I could hear tears of laughter. He was laughing so hard. I said with a coy voice, "I got it." He just continued to laugh as he asked, "All of that for a spider?!" I still had goose bumps from the whole ordeal. He had tears in his eyes he was laughing so hard. I definitely need to date someone who is better at handling situations like these. Any single exterminators out there?
Friday, March 26, 2010
Physics, I'm better at chemestry
Everyone knows how not good with numbers and math I am. Did I mention that I have a Physics class this semester, a physics class at 8:00 in the morning that is. I hate that class! If I don't pass the class, I don't graduate this semester.
The professor is 80 something years old, from India, and blind in one eye. His accent is as thick as his inability to teach, which is pretty thick. No one understands him, even the hearing people in my class have trouble. The interpreters sometimes struggle, they tell me when he says stuff funny. If anyone asks him to clarify what he says, he just repeats himself. If no one understood it the first time, they surely didn't understand it the second time. People gave up asking questions, now he yells at the class for not asking questions. What a pain in the neck! I don't understand anything in that class and there were no prerequisites for either. My advisor at the university told me to take that class because it "is an easy class" which is not true at all. I am definitely regretting I took the class but there is no option of dropping the class so I am just hoping for a D just so I can graduate and move on with my life. Not that I know what I am going to do after graduation anyway but anything is better that sitting in that horrible class at 8:00 in the morning three days a week.
Okay so how does a beautiful woman like me get help with physics? I flirt of course, with a young guy in my class. So now I have a tutor twice a week. Usually we meet in a study lounge in school but recently we went out to lunch together on a "study date" I guess you could call it. It is weird, just about anything can be considered a date these days. We went to lunch and didn't talk much about physics. Sweet kid but he is 14 years my junior. I feel like a cougar. Rrrrwwwwoooowwwwwww......
He kept telling me, "That's not that bad." When I referred to how much younger he is than I. He is a musician, a composer. Cute, but it just seems weird to me because he is so much younger than I am. Anyway, I still need his help with the class so either way, I am still going to have him as a tutor for a while. I will just have to hold him at bay.
Although..., the thought of a younger man...hmmm. His hair is a little long, normally I prefer short hair but it looks good on him. He has a nice style of clothes and speaks well educated. We never have to try to think of something to say. I really don't want anything to become uncomfortable that makes it difficult for him to tutor me, because I need his help. Numbers are not my thing, unless it is phone numbers, I can always get phone numbers. lol
The professor is 80 something years old, from India, and blind in one eye. His accent is as thick as his inability to teach, which is pretty thick. No one understands him, even the hearing people in my class have trouble. The interpreters sometimes struggle, they tell me when he says stuff funny. If anyone asks him to clarify what he says, he just repeats himself. If no one understood it the first time, they surely didn't understand it the second time. People gave up asking questions, now he yells at the class for not asking questions. What a pain in the neck! I don't understand anything in that class and there were no prerequisites for either. My advisor at the university told me to take that class because it "is an easy class" which is not true at all. I am definitely regretting I took the class but there is no option of dropping the class so I am just hoping for a D just so I can graduate and move on with my life. Not that I know what I am going to do after graduation anyway but anything is better that sitting in that horrible class at 8:00 in the morning three days a week.
Okay so how does a beautiful woman like me get help with physics? I flirt of course, with a young guy in my class. So now I have a tutor twice a week. Usually we meet in a study lounge in school but recently we went out to lunch together on a "study date" I guess you could call it. It is weird, just about anything can be considered a date these days. We went to lunch and didn't talk much about physics. Sweet kid but he is 14 years my junior. I feel like a cougar. Rrrrwwwwoooowwwwwww......
He kept telling me, "That's not that bad." When I referred to how much younger he is than I. He is a musician, a composer. Cute, but it just seems weird to me because he is so much younger than I am. Anyway, I still need his help with the class so either way, I am still going to have him as a tutor for a while. I will just have to hold him at bay.
Although..., the thought of a younger man...hmmm. His hair is a little long, normally I prefer short hair but it looks good on him. He has a nice style of clothes and speaks well educated. We never have to try to think of something to say. I really don't want anything to become uncomfortable that makes it difficult for him to tutor me, because I need his help. Numbers are not my thing, unless it is phone numbers, I can always get phone numbers. lol
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