Everyone knows that I'm single. And I gotta tell ya, some days its great and some days it's a b**ch. Ladies, you know those days when it snows and you have to clean off your car. Yeah, that's when it sucks to be single. Right? Outside in 20 below weather and dusting off the top of your car, you can't see so your eyes are wide open in the blinding snow and sun, then the wind blows snow in your face. I'm only 5'8" so not that tall. I can't see on the top of my mini-van. (yeah that's right, I drive a mini. Many guys do too but only not everyone can see theirs.) I am little concerned as I reach up there to get the snow, that one day I am gonna pull something down that's not supposed to be there, like more snow, old leaves, or the dead body of that b*tch my ex cheated on me with. I think its up there pretty secure but still, you gotta wonder.
I remember one time I was cleaning out my car and was like,"What the hell is that?!" My ex-husband's moldy hearing aids. Don't even 'Ohhh...' on that. He doesn't need 'em. He never listens anyway. At least he never listened to me. "Don't cheat one me. Stop lying to me. Stop making me sleep on the couch. Stop cheating on me! Stop lying to me!"
Funny how men never listen to their spouses but if someone else tells them the exact same thing, then they listen, they think its a good idea, and and then tells you about it. Then they say to you, "But you didn't say it like they did." What, with a different face? I said it the same way, in fact, "I am the one who told them to tell you so you would actually listen." Yeah, I've done that. You have to make men think that it was their idea before they will actually do it. He'd come from work and be like, "I'm gonna take your car in to get the oil changed and then take it to the car wash." I pretend to act surprised, "Oh, great, thank you so much." Then I would email his friend from work with a thank you and a nude photo. Just kidding, my web came broke a long time ago.
Its tough being single these days. If I am on a date, usually it is a nice dinner or something to eat that's not frozen. At home, if I have food, it comes from a can or a window. I haven't cooked in so long, I gonna have to change my profile on the dating site. From, "Likes to cook" to "would like a cook". Cause then, breakfast in bed would be more than bread crumbs. It's like Hansel and Gretal got lost in my bedroom. I wake up in the afternoon with birds all over.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
48 acts like 4
The movie Blind Side is a fantastic movie. If you haven't seen it yet, I strongly recommend that you do. He picked me up and we went to the movie. Since it was later in the evening, we decided to not have dinner, just the movie. He chose the movie, I didn't know anything about it.
We got a small popcorn and drinks. Went in and searched for our seats. The movie began. Oh Sandra Bullock is in it. Okay, it just maybe a good movie after all. The movie begins to play and he begins to talk. I obviously can't hear what he says so I just say "Oh really?!" That is a pretty basic response to just about anything. Don't worry, I have plenty more. So if you are on a date sometime and you hear some of those ambiguous responses, you know your date isn't listening.
He continues to talk, and talk, and talk, and talk through the movie. I realised if I was going to be able to follow the movie, I would have to completely ignore him. Finally he shut his big trap. I am not sure if he did so because I was ignoring him or if it was because the person behind him began kicking his seat.
Then, he tries to hold my hand. Now, if you are in a dating situation where they is common or mutual interest, then try to hold her hand. Since I am very polite (most of the time), I let him hold my hand for a few minutes. Then I pretended to scratch my face (with that hand) and put my hand on my lap. A few minutes later he tries to hold my hand while on my lap. If I were on a date with someone that I liked or was interested in, I would have been thinking like 'oh bonus, alright,... Cool.' However, I was on a date with someone I was definitely not getting good vibes about. So instead I am thinking 'crap, this sucks, now what? Now I am going to get his cooties!' I quickly moved my hand to the arm rest (still allowing him to hold it) instead of on my lap. Ten minutes later, I moved my hand again which he literally moved with it and continued to hold my hand. Holy crap! A few minutes later, I pulled my hand away simply stating, "My hand is getting sore." Then I pretended to exercise my hand moving it around, just to make it more believable. Take a hint pal.
We finished the movie and he dropped me off. Then when we arrive, he parks the car and turns it off. That's weired, did I invite him to stay? Funny how I don't remember that conversation. I looked at him, "Um, thanks for the movie. It was a really great movie." His reply was a bit unexpected, "Yeah, it was really good, do you want to go again?" I had to ask as I raised one eyebrow, "To the same movie?" He replied, "Yeah, I mean if you liked it that much, I want to see it again." Taken a bit off guard by either a sweet gesture or a stupid one (I can't figure out which), I just said, "I... um... well...I..., I am not sure. Let me think about...well, I have to look at my schedule. I'm pretty busy the next couple of weeks." Yeah, okay so a blind man could have seen through that but I mean, he completely took me off guard by that. Who would expect that?"
Ooohhhhh, the next day he calls. He is so mad and just throwing a temper tantrum. What the Hell? I answer the phone to an attitude the size of Utah. "I don't like it that you wouldn't hold my hand at the movie last night." Get over it buddy. Can you believe this guy? He continues, "It's not like we are fighting." Okay, I had to jump in. Um, we are not even going out. How could we possibly be fighting?" Fighting? I barely know this guy. The more I know of him, the less I want to know. He continues with, "I don't think we should go to the movie again. I don't think we would get along." Uh huh? And what? I never wanted to go with him anywhere. I just responded, "I think your right. It doesn't seem like we would have fun together." Then hoping he would get the hint (seems like he finally got the hint I didn't want to hold his hand), I said, "Thanks for calling though." He must have been taken by surprise now because the phone got really quiet. "okay..." he said very slowly. I wanted to end the conversation, "Well, take it easy, good luck." and I hung up the phone. Creep. That is a first, I never had someone call up the next day and throw a fit and try to have an argument. I really think that was his goal. I think inside, he is one of those people who try to cause problems and chaos just for the excitement. Don't need any of that! What a dork. lol
We got a small popcorn and drinks. Went in and searched for our seats. The movie began. Oh Sandra Bullock is in it. Okay, it just maybe a good movie after all. The movie begins to play and he begins to talk. I obviously can't hear what he says so I just say "Oh really?!" That is a pretty basic response to just about anything. Don't worry, I have plenty more. So if you are on a date sometime and you hear some of those ambiguous responses, you know your date isn't listening.
He continues to talk, and talk, and talk, and talk through the movie. I realised if I was going to be able to follow the movie, I would have to completely ignore him. Finally he shut his big trap. I am not sure if he did so because I was ignoring him or if it was because the person behind him began kicking his seat.
Then, he tries to hold my hand. Now, if you are in a dating situation where they is common or mutual interest, then try to hold her hand. Since I am very polite (most of the time), I let him hold my hand for a few minutes. Then I pretended to scratch my face (with that hand) and put my hand on my lap. A few minutes later he tries to hold my hand while on my lap. If I were on a date with someone that I liked or was interested in, I would have been thinking like 'oh bonus, alright,... Cool.' However, I was on a date with someone I was definitely not getting good vibes about. So instead I am thinking 'crap, this sucks, now what? Now I am going to get his cooties!' I quickly moved my hand to the arm rest (still allowing him to hold it) instead of on my lap. Ten minutes later, I moved my hand again which he literally moved with it and continued to hold my hand. Holy crap! A few minutes later, I pulled my hand away simply stating, "My hand is getting sore." Then I pretended to exercise my hand moving it around, just to make it more believable. Take a hint pal.
We finished the movie and he dropped me off. Then when we arrive, he parks the car and turns it off. That's weired, did I invite him to stay? Funny how I don't remember that conversation. I looked at him, "Um, thanks for the movie. It was a really great movie." His reply was a bit unexpected, "Yeah, it was really good, do you want to go again?" I had to ask as I raised one eyebrow, "To the same movie?" He replied, "Yeah, I mean if you liked it that much, I want to see it again." Taken a bit off guard by either a sweet gesture or a stupid one (I can't figure out which), I just said, "I... um... well...I..., I am not sure. Let me think about...well, I have to look at my schedule. I'm pretty busy the next couple of weeks." Yeah, okay so a blind man could have seen through that but I mean, he completely took me off guard by that. Who would expect that?"
Ooohhhhh, the next day he calls. He is so mad and just throwing a temper tantrum. What the Hell? I answer the phone to an attitude the size of Utah. "I don't like it that you wouldn't hold my hand at the movie last night." Get over it buddy. Can you believe this guy? He continues, "It's not like we are fighting." Okay, I had to jump in. Um, we are not even going out. How could we possibly be fighting?" Fighting? I barely know this guy. The more I know of him, the less I want to know. He continues with, "I don't think we should go to the movie again. I don't think we would get along." Uh huh? And what? I never wanted to go with him anywhere. I just responded, "I think your right. It doesn't seem like we would have fun together." Then hoping he would get the hint (seems like he finally got the hint I didn't want to hold his hand), I said, "Thanks for calling though." He must have been taken by surprise now because the phone got really quiet. "okay..." he said very slowly. I wanted to end the conversation, "Well, take it easy, good luck." and I hung up the phone. Creep. That is a first, I never had someone call up the next day and throw a fit and try to have an argument. I really think that was his goal. I think inside, he is one of those people who try to cause problems and chaos just for the excitement. Don't need any of that! What a dork. lol
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Toxic phone message.
A blind date that I went on, remember (Bad smoking, good dinner), that guy. Who was a wacko, told the story about the prostitute. You remember him. He called me and left a message on my voice mail. Let me quote some of it for you. "I was just calling to see what you were doing." Seems innocent so far, but keep reading, it will turn sinister very quickly. "I was thinking we could go out of town, get you plenty of drinks and I could take advantage of you." He actually said that! Then he says, "so call me back." And that concluded the shocking train wreck of a message. I knew that no one would believe that message so I saved it and played for a few of my friends. It was funnier then. No, I never called him back and fortunately, he didn't call me back either. Damn, I couldn't make this stuff up!
Interim crush
This spring I have an interim class, computers. YUCK! It may not seem like it since I can email, blog, facebook, and shop online but in reality, I am terrible with computers. If it weren't for Angel Theresa, I wouldn't have gotten this far. No wonder she is a saint. Right? Isn't there a saint Theresa? I'm pretty sure. But Theresa has kept me from sleeping through the great computer age and I am better for it. I just hope I make it through this class.
There's this kid who sits two seats away from me. Kinda cute but way to young for me. I guess I shouldn't call him a kid, he is probably in his early-mid twenties. Anyway, from the first day of class he keeps on looking at me. Every time I look over, you know when you get that "someones looking at me" feeling. It is him. Maybe I have some broccoli in my teeth from last week. Just kidding. When I leave class he always makes eye contact with me and says "goodbye" to me. I am amazing, who can blame him. LOL Maybe he has never seen a beautiful, funny, smart, talented, and remarkably humble artist out of her natural habitat.
There's this kid who sits two seats away from me. Kinda cute but way to young for me. I guess I shouldn't call him a kid, he is probably in his early-mid twenties. Anyway, from the first day of class he keeps on looking at me. Every time I look over, you know when you get that "someones looking at me" feeling. It is him. Maybe I have some broccoli in my teeth from last week. Just kidding. When I leave class he always makes eye contact with me and says "goodbye" to me. I am amazing, who can blame him. LOL Maybe he has never seen a beautiful, funny, smart, talented, and remarkably humble artist out of her natural habitat.
View of my personality.
I blog about bad manners and behaviors of men I am on dates with. Yes, it would lead anyone, even me to ask, "What about her bad traits?" So I began to ask a few of the people I know as well as some of the men in my past about their thoughts. It is only fair right? Hey, wait a minute. I don't give out the identities of the people I talk about. So I am already at a slight disadvantage.
Are you in great suspense now? The blogger, me, in on the hot seat. Okay here they are in any order. And these probably aren't even all of them but to show I am fair and not only throwing men under the bus or on the third rail. By all means, read on.
1. "You are too honest. People don't want to hear the truth."
Okay, whatever that means. Maybe he is trying to say he is a liar and has no conscious.
2. "You are mean in a nice way."
I asked him to elaborate on that. What could that possibly mean?
"Well, I don't know how to say it, but you make sure people get the hint but you say it with a smile. You can be very direct but polite at the same time."
The only thing I could think of would be like... Please go to hell. Have a nice f**king day. "Are those examples of what you mean?" I asked.
"Not exactly but I think you get it." he replied as his eyebrows quickly lowered and scrunched down his forehead, making his eyes seem very small.
3. "I think people are intimidated by you. You're too smart and men don't want to be with women smarter than them."
"What?! Are you kidding me with this stuff?" I asked confused and half laughing.
"It's true, men feel dumb if the woman knows more than him or if she makes more money than him. He feels like less of a man." they explained.
Of course the image of a dumb blond wearing shoulder pads entered my mind. I understand the financial thing but not liking a woman who is intelligent is just plain stupid. Although, I truly have had that experience before. My first ex-husband that one thing he did say in the beginning of our divorce. One day he blurted out, "...and you're smarter than me." Well, I guess I just need a good educated man then. Why can't men be upset if a woman cleans better or cooks better, perhaps it would encourage them to do a better job. I believe it is possible for a man to put the toilet seat down. Don't you?
Are you in great suspense now? The blogger, me, in on the hot seat. Okay here they are in any order. And these probably aren't even all of them but to show I am fair and not only throwing men under the bus or on the third rail. By all means, read on.
1. "You are too honest. People don't want to hear the truth."
Okay, whatever that means. Maybe he is trying to say he is a liar and has no conscious.
2. "You are mean in a nice way."
I asked him to elaborate on that. What could that possibly mean?
"Well, I don't know how to say it, but you make sure people get the hint but you say it with a smile. You can be very direct but polite at the same time."
The only thing I could think of would be like... Please go to hell. Have a nice f**king day. "Are those examples of what you mean?" I asked.
"Not exactly but I think you get it." he replied as his eyebrows quickly lowered and scrunched down his forehead, making his eyes seem very small.
3. "I think people are intimidated by you. You're too smart and men don't want to be with women smarter than them."
"What?! Are you kidding me with this stuff?" I asked confused and half laughing.
"It's true, men feel dumb if the woman knows more than him or if she makes more money than him. He feels like less of a man." they explained.
Of course the image of a dumb blond wearing shoulder pads entered my mind. I understand the financial thing but not liking a woman who is intelligent is just plain stupid. Although, I truly have had that experience before. My first ex-husband that one thing he did say in the beginning of our divorce. One day he blurted out, "...and you're smarter than me." Well, I guess I just need a good educated man then. Why can't men be upset if a woman cleans better or cooks better, perhaps it would encourage them to do a better job. I believe it is possible for a man to put the toilet seat down. Don't you?
4. "You're too nice to people. You need to learn how to say 'no'."
This is true, I have a very difficult time saying 'no'. I am trying to work on that. I am good at saying no to men who don't understand the meaning of 'no' but to others who need or don't need but ask for my help anyway, I have a difficult time saying the word.
These are the first things that arose in their minds and if these are my bad traits, I don't think they are that bad. And just for the record, the men I have dated in my past, none of them ever regretted dating me. I think that has something to say. Of course, everyone has things about them that they would like to change and I am no exception. I can certainly help point out a few things for those of you who are not sure. Just ask me, I'll tell ya.
Monday, January 4, 2010
The birthday boy
We met at one of the finer restaurants in town. I had actually met this guy a few times in the past. He tells me that he, "always liked" me but I was married so he kept it to himself. Okay, good boy. He is much older than I am and I was under the impression we were just going out as friends or acquaintances. We sit down at the table, ordered drinks, and he says, "today is my birthday." "Really?" I say, half-way not believing him. "Happy birthday." I order the infamous white dove that I like so much, he orders a soda-pop. Then we go through the what is that drink scenario that I go through so many friggin' times. Pretty soon I am going to start drinking water on dates. "It is a white dove," I reply, ever so sweetly. Then he wants to taste it. I pluck his straw from his glass and put it in my drink so he doesn't dare try to use mine. Then he looks at me with shock and asks, "Is there alcohol in that drink?" "Yeah, a little bit." I responded, I should have told him, "yeah, but not enough".
The waitress is willing to take our order now that we are ready. Both of us order steak, it comes with fresh bread, soup, and a salad before the main course. Half the bread is gone when the soup arrives at the table. He swallows straight half the soup and puts it aside for the waitress and the salads are brought to us. I am still working on the soup. "Please wait a little bit before bringing our dinners out." I ask the waitress. "Sure, no problem.", she says as she smiles and whisks aways with her blond hair in flight like a kite behind her. The human trash compactor inhales his salad in minutes. No talking just bite and swallow.
As I continue to enjoy my soup and start on my salad he says in a very disappointed tone. "I wish you hadn't asked her to take longer to bring out our dinners." I responded, "Sorry, everything was just coming out so fast." He looks at me as if I completely missed out on a news flash, and says, "Yeah but I like steak that is why I was hurrying to get through the other stuff. I want to eat my steak." Has he never eaten a meal before in his life? I remained silent and continued with my salad. Light green lettuce, dark green spinach, that weired shaped purple thing, bright red tomatoes, crisp bacon bits, white ranch dressing with black pepper on top. Mmmm, so beautiful and so good. What.. huh... yeah, oh the date, I was trying to forget he was there. Worried about his steak and all. Guys, you shouldn't lie to a woman but it never hurts to pretend that you are a civilised human being.
The steak makes its grand appearance and I might add looks incredibly delicious. Half way through my steak, he is already finished with his. I have had plenty and was feeling quite full. The logical thing to do was to ask for a box to take it home for tomorrows breakfast. I ask the waitress for a to-go box and off she goes. He looked at me and asked to only all to obvious, "Are you taking that home?" "Yeah,... it will be very good with eggs in the morning." I responded. "You should finish that, it is really good." he stammered. "I know it is good but I am very full and I can't eat anymore." I told him. "Well" he began with a pause, ..."I can wait if you want to eat it slowly." No thank you, i ate too much already, I will only get sick. Thanks anyway." I said with an inquisitive look on my face. What a freak. I understand he likes steak but it seems he is a little obsessed with it. Gimme a break.
Do men intentionally show there bad attributes on first dates, or are these what they consider good attributes? Maybe they don't even realize. What is even scarier is that you know they are hiding the worst ones. This is one rabbit hole I don't want to fall down. He obviously can be controlling, can't take "no" for an answer, and focuses on instant gratification. Definitely not traits I am looking for.
The waitress is willing to take our order now that we are ready. Both of us order steak, it comes with fresh bread, soup, and a salad before the main course. Half the bread is gone when the soup arrives at the table. He swallows straight half the soup and puts it aside for the waitress and the salads are brought to us. I am still working on the soup. "Please wait a little bit before bringing our dinners out." I ask the waitress. "Sure, no problem.", she says as she smiles and whisks aways with her blond hair in flight like a kite behind her. The human trash compactor inhales his salad in minutes. No talking just bite and swallow.
As I continue to enjoy my soup and start on my salad he says in a very disappointed tone. "I wish you hadn't asked her to take longer to bring out our dinners." I responded, "Sorry, everything was just coming out so fast." He looks at me as if I completely missed out on a news flash, and says, "Yeah but I like steak that is why I was hurrying to get through the other stuff. I want to eat my steak." Has he never eaten a meal before in his life? I remained silent and continued with my salad. Light green lettuce, dark green spinach, that weired shaped purple thing, bright red tomatoes, crisp bacon bits, white ranch dressing with black pepper on top. Mmmm, so beautiful and so good. What.. huh... yeah, oh the date, I was trying to forget he was there. Worried about his steak and all. Guys, you shouldn't lie to a woman but it never hurts to pretend that you are a civilised human being.
The steak makes its grand appearance and I might add looks incredibly delicious. Half way through my steak, he is already finished with his. I have had plenty and was feeling quite full. The logical thing to do was to ask for a box to take it home for tomorrows breakfast. I ask the waitress for a to-go box and off she goes. He looked at me and asked to only all to obvious, "Are you taking that home?" "Yeah,... it will be very good with eggs in the morning." I responded. "You should finish that, it is really good." he stammered. "I know it is good but I am very full and I can't eat anymore." I told him. "Well" he began with a pause, ..."I can wait if you want to eat it slowly." No thank you, i ate too much already, I will only get sick. Thanks anyway." I said with an inquisitive look on my face. What a freak. I understand he likes steak but it seems he is a little obsessed with it. Gimme a break.
Do men intentionally show there bad attributes on first dates, or are these what they consider good attributes? Maybe they don't even realize. What is even scarier is that you know they are hiding the worst ones. This is one rabbit hole I don't want to fall down. He obviously can be controlling, can't take "no" for an answer, and focuses on instant gratification. Definitely not traits I am looking for.
Back 2 blogging
Had some problems with my home PC. I know many of you have missed reading my many adventures in the dating world. Even though I haven't been blogging, I have been keeping notes to fill you in. Keep your eyes and fingers on this blog. Skip the laughing gas at the dentist, some of these dates were more painful than a day at the dentist. Plus, you will probably have more laughs here.
See you soon!
See you soon!
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