What are the signs of attention deficit disorder (ADD)? Because I am pretty sure my last date has it. And when I say 'last date', it will definitely be my last date with him. Blah!#$%^&*!
Hey ADD boy, pay attention. Later half way through the date would I realize that he doesn't pay for anything.
He was a pathetic date indeed. Before a date I usually do a quick background search, a girl never knows these days. Well, he failed it miserably. Wow. I was going to cancel the date but out of sheer morbid curiosity, I decided to keep it. First of all, he thought he was a writer often referred to himself as such. And doing so very often. *eye roll* He could barely spell his name. Okay, first we met at a restaurant. We have sandwiches, nothing formal. The conversation was all about him, I Wonder sometime if he thought he was in a therapy session. Talking about how many bad relationships he has been in. Coincidentally, they all involved him, he obviously has not figured out the common denominator. By the way, did I mention I looked up his record. He has quite the attitude and enough restraining orders on him to make Bill Clinton seem innocent.
So during lunch, he talked about himself, a lot, and how he wants to right books about how his previous girlfriends wronged him... WHOA, back up! Did he say that he wants to wright books on how bad his relationships were? Yup, that is what he said. He is a real fun date uh? An idol of idiot worshipers I would say. It has been over an hour into the date had he hasn't even complimented me yet. Hasn't asked me any questions, nothing. I'm not saying the date revolves around me but I think I am taking part in the date. Wait a minute... is that a fat lady I hear singing??? no, I guess not, the date is still going on. Pisser! Ooh, the check is finally here, now I can thank him and go.
The waitress put the check on the table and as she walked away, he slid the check over to me and said, "Thank you for lunch." What the hell?! The look on my face must have been priceless but apparently, lunch wasn't. Okay, just because I didn't want to create a scene and I wanted to bail, I paid the bill. "Okay, yeah, see ya, have a safe drive." I said as I turn to leave and pay the check. Don't bother trying to figure out if he left the tip, he didn't. On my way to my car, I realized he was following me. "Do you need directions to the highway from here?" I asked him. "No, I was going to ask you if you wanted to play pool?" he replied. What? it was almost 2:00 in the afternoon. I tried to come up with a good excuse, "No, I have stuff I have to do, homework." Then he quickly and unwittingly replied without a clue, "Before, you said you didn't have any plans for later today. It is only one game." Ugh! "Are you serious?!" I asked him. "Yeah. I like to play pool." Okay, I guess I felt sorry for the dumb guy, uh, I mean the dumb blank expression on his face. Plus, he did drive a little over an hour to go on a date with me. "Okay." I agreed to play one game of pool.
We went to a near by pool hall. He proudly looks at me with change in his hand and says, "I'll get it." Wow, where was that enthusiasm when it was time to pay for lunch. Anyway, he puts the ball set on the table and he actually flips a coin to see who will break. Are we in the fourth grade? I tried to slid the hint across the table that we needed to order something to drink. "We should probably order something to drink, they wouldn't appreciate it if we just played pool without ordering anything." Okay, ... a real man would have at least stepped up and said, "You're right. What would you like to drink?" and then would have proceeded to the bar keep to get us drinks. What does this Schmuck say? "I don't care what we have as long as you're buying."
Ladies, that is a quote. He actually said that! "What did you say?" I asked him as I whipped my head around with the look of hell fire glowing in my eyes. In a softer calmer voice, "I'm just saying, whatever you want to buy me is fine." he replied with his ears folded back like a scolded dog. I took in a deep breath of irritation and shock, walked up to the bar and looked at the bar keeper. A nice older fellow looked at me as though he has seen this type before, "What can I get you?" He asked with a half smile rounding his face. "A white dove and a bottle of Similac.", I wittingly retorted. "What did you say?" he asked with a confused look and a tilt of his head. I shook of the idea, "A white dove and a class of water please." I responded. "White dove and a glass of water.", he repeated. "No, I guess you better make it two white doves." I said as disappointment crowned my aching head. I looked back at the pool table where prince not-so-charming and not too bright was trying to figure out where the triangle to rack is kept.
I just looked at the bar keeper who was waiting for payment, paid him for the drinks, shook my head and rolled my eyes at the pitiful sight behind me. "Thank you, please keep the change." I went back the table handed him his drink and then plucked the triangle from the place it was hanging just inches from his fat head. I handed it to him, "Looking for this?"
The pool game begins. Now, I am not afraid to admit that I am not very good at pool, in fact, I openly mentioned this to him. When I miss a couple of what I am told by him are "easy shots" he looks at me and says, "You are probably trying to shark me." Oooh, "Yeah," I said. "I am sharking you because I want to pay for lunch." Stupid.
Can he make any more of an ass of himself? Apparently he can. After the game I said "good bye" again and "have a safe trip." I just threw that last one in there to seem nice. At this point, I didn't care if he had a bad trip or not. In fact, I wanted to push him down and not even wait for him to trip. LOL He asks me if I want to kiss him. "No thanks, I don't kiss on the first date." Well, do you want to feel me and see if I have something you like?" UGH! F**ker! I told him, "You better leave before I smack you for being so disrespectful to me!" Then he says, as if that comment didn't come out of his mouth, he says, "Thanks for lunch." All I could say with a pissed off look on my face as violent cartoon images were going through my mind, "You're welcome." Add I left. Can you imagine? That piece of crap actual emailed me a few days later asking me if I want to buy a copy of his book. By the way, did I mention that his "book" was mearly a 30 pages folded in half with staples. Yeah, he just was printing them off himself saying that they were published. Idiot! I blocked him on my email.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
The race card
Wow, I am so tired of people playing the "race card" and now it seems worse now that Obama is in the White House. Okay, so I am on this Internet date with this really cute guy who happens to be black. We are doing the question and answer thing and out of no where he calls me a raciest because I like Nelson Mandela.
Are you kidding me???? ME? A raciest??? I was so pissed off! How does anyone get the idea of racism if I like Nelson Mandela. I told this guy that Nelson Mandela is an amazing person who has had a great impact on the world. Wow, anyone who knows me or has met me knows that I of all people am NOT a racist. And for those of you who do not know me, my ex-husband is black, a true African, my son was half black. Give me a break! I can understand if I said something that was negative about black people, like um... why do they like to always play the "race card".
IS THERE ANYONE NORMAL OUT THERE??????
I hate it when people make rash assumptions that are not only incorrect, but completely inappropriate. Yeah, I try to tell you all of the funny and weird things that happen on dates, but please, let this blog post bring some awareness to people of all colors and nations. Don't be so fast to judge a person when you have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.
This guy would have done better if he talked about fishing but then he probably would have said that I was a spaciest because I don't like fishing. I would like to throw that guy in the lake though. It just irritates me so much!
UPDATE:
We talked a bit more through emails and apologized and things seem worked out. He called me at home. Everything was just a misundersatdning obviously. Anyway, we did have a phone date this evening. Nice voice, he seems a bit full of himself but dating is strange, you have to put your best forward first I guess it can make you be perseved as full of yourself. We talked on the phone date 1 1/2 hours. I am not sure what I think of him just yet but we did arrange a date. So I guess I will know more when I met him. Here comes the judge... LOL
Are you kidding me???? ME? A raciest??? I was so pissed off! How does anyone get the idea of racism if I like Nelson Mandela. I told this guy that Nelson Mandela is an amazing person who has had a great impact on the world. Wow, anyone who knows me or has met me knows that I of all people am NOT a racist. And for those of you who do not know me, my ex-husband is black, a true African, my son was half black. Give me a break! I can understand if I said something that was negative about black people, like um... why do they like to always play the "race card".
IS THERE ANYONE NORMAL OUT THERE??????
I hate it when people make rash assumptions that are not only incorrect, but completely inappropriate. Yeah, I try to tell you all of the funny and weird things that happen on dates, but please, let this blog post bring some awareness to people of all colors and nations. Don't be so fast to judge a person when you have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.
This guy would have done better if he talked about fishing but then he probably would have said that I was a spaciest because I don't like fishing. I would like to throw that guy in the lake though. It just irritates me so much!
UPDATE:
We talked a bit more through emails and apologized and things seem worked out. He called me at home. Everything was just a misundersatdning obviously. Anyway, we did have a phone date this evening. Nice voice, he seems a bit full of himself but dating is strange, you have to put your best forward first I guess it can make you be perseved as full of yourself. We talked on the phone date 1 1/2 hours. I am not sure what I think of him just yet but we did arrange a date. So I guess I will know more when I met him. Here comes the judge... LOL
Sunday, September 27, 2009
If you give a woman a fish...
If you take a woman out for fish, she will stay for the whole date. If you tell her how to fish, she will stay away forever.
To fish or not to fish? That is the question!
You fish, there for I am not dating you.
It is all fun and games until somebody gets a fish in the eye.
Hey, is that a fish in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Love is blind but a fishing story is a "reel" eye opener.
Now that's a fish of a different color.
Never judge a fish by the paper it is wrapped in?
To fish or not to fish? That is the question!
You fish, there for I am not dating you.
It is all fun and games until somebody gets a fish in the eye.
Hey, is that a fish in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Love is blind but a fishing story is a "reel" eye opener.
Now that's a fish of a different color.
Never judge a fish by the paper it is wrapped in?
Friday, September 25, 2009
Mommy Dearest
Mostly I am almost sure of what I am looking for in a man. However, that list or personal ideas tend to flex as time moves forward. So much does also flex the list of things I definitely do not want in a man. Men, I still never can understand them. Personally, I don't think they understand themselves either.
Take for example the date I went on this evening. A sweet guy so it would seem, has respect and admiration for his mother. You can tell a lot about a guy in the way he thinks of his mother. In this case, you can also tell a lot about his mother. He talked about her of what an influence she has been on him and that was nice and reassuring that he would be a good date and a strong man with values and respect for women. He continued to talk about her, for quite some time. Even telling me that she planned most of his previous wedding, right down to the colors, order of the wedding party, and the cuff links. WHOA! Let me guess, she probably also planned most of his divorce.
CONTROLLING MOTHER ALERT!!! ERR...ERRR...ERR... CONTROLLING MOTHER ALERT!!! ERR...ERRR...ERR... CAUTION! DO NOT STEP ON UMBILICAL CORD!!! PLEASE BE CAUTIOUS. FOR ELECTRIC SHOCK APRON STRINGS!!! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
CAUTION! CAUTION! CAUTION!
To help change the subject that now had me searching for the fastest escape route out of there, I asked him about himself. What man doesn't like to talk about himself? "Where do you work?" I asked him. "I work at ------. I have been there about five years." Cool, I like a guy with a job. "Do you like working there?" I asked. He responded, "Yeah, I mean it is okay. Not what I was planning to do but my mom works there too. She helped me get the job there. We car pool to work and it helps save on gas and usage for my car."
HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM!
DANGER WILL ROBINSON! DANGER!
Okay, this is getting to be too much. A woman can only handle a guy talking about his mother for so long. I however, didn't see that changing anytime soon. I ran through different topic ideas through my mind to discuss that would leave out the interruption of his memories on nursing but I couldn't come up with anything. The traditional fall back questions for dating leave a lot of room for an intrusive mother even if she is not there.
Where are you from?
What was it like growing up?
Who influences you the most?
What are your plans for the next few years?
What do you enjoy doing in your free time?
What is your favorite food / meal?
Wow, all of those could easily end up with him discussing more of his mother. He even told me that nameof the town she was born in. Do I need to know that for anything in my life? My skin was beginning to crawl and I began to worry if his mother would soon arrive at the restaurant we were in. Or worse! Maybe she was already there? Watching us? I have no idea what she looks like. CREEPY! I asked him what his last name is and much to my relief it is not Bates. Part of me was afraid to ask him what his favorite movie is.
Ah ha, I had the perfect idea, I would fake an illness that I was not feeling well at the same time hoping his mother is not a nurse. Since she works with him, I can safely assume she is not. I pretended to begin not feeling well. As he looked around for a waitress, I discreetly dipped my finger tips into my water glass and gently dabbed my fingers on my forehead to simulate sweating while at the same time licked my palms to give them the feeling of clamminess. I realize it is a bit childish, but look who I am dealing with. I didn't want to make him suspicious or upset him but I wanted to get out of there. His obsession with his mother and one can only assume that it is a mutual obsession, the situation was really was getting weird. I thanked him for his time and apologized I would not be able to stay for dinner, then excused myself from the table and bee lined it for the door. In the parking lot I looked through the window to see if he stayed in the restaurant or left same as I did. Thankfully, he was still there. Trying to take care of things with the waitress no doubt.
Take for example the date I went on this evening. A sweet guy so it would seem, has respect and admiration for his mother. You can tell a lot about a guy in the way he thinks of his mother. In this case, you can also tell a lot about his mother. He talked about her of what an influence she has been on him and that was nice and reassuring that he would be a good date and a strong man with values and respect for women. He continued to talk about her, for quite some time. Even telling me that she planned most of his previous wedding, right down to the colors, order of the wedding party, and the cuff links. WHOA! Let me guess, she probably also planned most of his divorce.
CONTROLLING MOTHER ALERT!!! ERR...ERRR...ERR... CONTROLLING MOTHER ALERT!!! ERR...ERRR...ERR... CAUTION! DO NOT STEP ON UMBILICAL CORD!!! PLEASE BE CAUTIOUS. FOR ELECTRIC SHOCK APRON STRINGS!!! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
CAUTION! CAUTION! CAUTION!
To help change the subject that now had me searching for the fastest escape route out of there, I asked him about himself. What man doesn't like to talk about himself? "Where do you work?" I asked him. "I work at ------. I have been there about five years." Cool, I like a guy with a job. "Do you like working there?" I asked. He responded, "Yeah, I mean it is okay. Not what I was planning to do but my mom works there too. She helped me get the job there. We car pool to work and it helps save on gas and usage for my car."
HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM!
DANGER WILL ROBINSON! DANGER!
Okay, this is getting to be too much. A woman can only handle a guy talking about his mother for so long. I however, didn't see that changing anytime soon. I ran through different topic ideas through my mind to discuss that would leave out the interruption of his memories on nursing but I couldn't come up with anything. The traditional fall back questions for dating leave a lot of room for an intrusive mother even if she is not there.
Where are you from?
What was it like growing up?
Who influences you the most?
What are your plans for the next few years?
What do you enjoy doing in your free time?
What is your favorite food / meal?
Wow, all of those could easily end up with him discussing more of his mother. He even told me that nameof the town she was born in. Do I need to know that for anything in my life? My skin was beginning to crawl and I began to worry if his mother would soon arrive at the restaurant we were in. Or worse! Maybe she was already there? Watching us? I have no idea what she looks like. CREEPY! I asked him what his last name is and much to my relief it is not Bates. Part of me was afraid to ask him what his favorite movie is.
Ah ha, I had the perfect idea, I would fake an illness that I was not feeling well at the same time hoping his mother is not a nurse. Since she works with him, I can safely assume she is not. I pretended to begin not feeling well. As he looked around for a waitress, I discreetly dipped my finger tips into my water glass and gently dabbed my fingers on my forehead to simulate sweating while at the same time licked my palms to give them the feeling of clamminess. I realize it is a bit childish, but look who I am dealing with. I didn't want to make him suspicious or upset him but I wanted to get out of there. His obsession with his mother and one can only assume that it is a mutual obsession, the situation was really was getting weird. I thanked him for his time and apologized I would not be able to stay for dinner, then excused myself from the table and bee lined it for the door. In the parking lot I looked through the window to see if he stayed in the restaurant or left same as I did. Thankfully, he was still there. Trying to take care of things with the waitress no doubt.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Proverbial Pandora's Box
It seems that I have opened the proverbial Pandora's box. And no, I do not know any women named Pandora! That is not the box I am talking about. Shame on you for thinking that and making me explain it! You guys are a bunch of perverts! It it just like the first few times I looked at a Playgirl Magazine. I looked at it several times because I can't believe they would have the audacity to publish such artistic beauty of a man's perfectly.....tanned and toned skin with.......rippling stomach and pectoral muscles. His strong body in perfect posture as he draped his sweaty, shimmering body across the bed with red satin sheets. Biceps bulging and perfectly shaved underarms. You can just imagine the feel of the strong firm loins in the dark and the rough.....uh...ummm,.....sorry, I got side tracked. What was I saying? oh yeah! I remember, I have been canceling dates (sorry guys) because my last year of school is really a lot of work and I have four art exhibits coming up in the next couple of months.
You are right, that alone isn't enough to make me cancel dates but it is a lot of work. I have to give them a good excuse that they will believe. Two men continue to tell me what great husbands they would be and one actually asked me to marry him. OUY! (That is French for headache, I think.) One is too old, the other is too young. Then there is another that doesn't stop calling and emailing, and instant messaging, and commenting, and twittering, and face booking, and internet 'smiling'. SHIT! What the hell happened to the 1980's when you could just send a friend over to tell them you don't want to see him again.
However, I have received very good advice from a close confidant who is always there to help us with our man trouble. Am I right Vicky? Theresa suggested that I very politely tell him that I was "dating exclusively". I said, "I can't say that, it would be a lie." Then my creative and slightly sinister sweet friend added, "exclusively dating everyone except him". Ahhhh... She is clever. You develop that type of cleverness and exquisite witt after being married for a while.
Do to the excessive amount of work for my classes and getting ready for these gallery shows, I have been kind of busy. Men for some reason expect you to be available to them anytime at a moments notice. Don't get me wrong, I am looking for a great guy that both of us feel the same way about each other. Buuuuttttttt, some how, I am just not finding it right now. Which is fine for me because it gives me time to focus on school and continue to meet new people, some interesting, and some not so interesting. That is the reason I have backed down a bit on the 'dating lifestyle', it becomes a lot of work when you are going on three and four dates a week, and trying to keep all of them straight. A couple of times I made a few mistakes. I have a terrible memory. I should put my dance card on power book these days. So for my own sanity, I am limiting it down to one or two dates a week. That is why you haven't seen me blog recently. But I will try to do better at keeping you informed.
You are right, that alone isn't enough to make me cancel dates but it is a lot of work. I have to give them a good excuse that they will believe. Two men continue to tell me what great husbands they would be and one actually asked me to marry him. OUY! (That is French for headache, I think.) One is too old, the other is too young. Then there is another that doesn't stop calling and emailing, and instant messaging, and commenting, and twittering, and face booking, and internet 'smiling'. SHIT! What the hell happened to the 1980's when you could just send a friend over to tell them you don't want to see him again.
However, I have received very good advice from a close confidant who is always there to help us with our man trouble. Am I right Vicky? Theresa suggested that I very politely tell him that I was "dating exclusively". I said, "I can't say that, it would be a lie." Then my creative and slightly sinister sweet friend added, "exclusively dating everyone except him". Ahhhh... She is clever. You develop that type of cleverness and exquisite witt after being married for a while.
Do to the excessive amount of work for my classes and getting ready for these gallery shows, I have been kind of busy. Men for some reason expect you to be available to them anytime at a moments notice. Don't get me wrong, I am looking for a great guy that both of us feel the same way about each other. Buuuuttttttt, some how, I am just not finding it right now. Which is fine for me because it gives me time to focus on school and continue to meet new people, some interesting, and some not so interesting. That is the reason I have backed down a bit on the 'dating lifestyle', it becomes a lot of work when you are going on three and four dates a week, and trying to keep all of them straight. A couple of times I made a few mistakes. I have a terrible memory. I should put my dance card on power book these days. So for my own sanity, I am limiting it down to one or two dates a week. That is why you haven't seen me blog recently. But I will try to do better at keeping you informed.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Canadian on FIRE!
Working in an Art Museum often has great benefits but besides the obvious, sometime the nice things to look at aren't always on the walls. Sometime, they come walking through the doors. Today was one of those special events when what walked passed was more intriguing to look at than what stares at you from high off the walls.
With a French accent, he road his motorcycle directly from Montreal Canada. I parked behind it wondering how the mysterious black machine made its way from Quebec, by wheels or wings. He walked with confidence and magnetic attraction. His very shapely gluteus maximus made its presence known through the Khaki cargo shorts that made me smile and my eyes splurge. I wondered how long I should allow him to look at the art on the walls before it would be almost appropriate for me to interrupt with my impervious intentions to learn more about him. Okay, I think twenty minutes would be acceptable.
All I know so far is that he is from Canada (and that's not too impressive), he rides a motor cycle, and he likes jazz music. Okay, I can work with those things for my intention. He was looking at a photo of Frida Kahlo. I slowly approached him looking at the art photo, "Frida Kahlo, are you a fan of her work?" I asked. Quietly he said, "Yes." We talked briefly about why he was here in Oshkosh and he wanted to see the Packers play, blah, blah, blah, he said something after that. Kinda lost him when the Packers were mentioned. Then, remembering he likes jazz music, I by coincidence, mention to him that there is a jazz band playing tonight at one of the pubs down town. "Oh, that sound interesting." He said looking me in the eyes on my face that refused to stop pouring over him. He asked the details of the time and place. After I gave it to him, he smiled and said, "Maybe we can just meet there." Oh yeah! Hook, line, and sinker!
Later that evening at the pub, we met up and I was ready for a dream tryst but instead, I got a surprise, not a dream tryst. Just exactly the opposite of what I was hoping for. PISSER!
Sometimes you go for the looks and sexual attraction of a person only to be disappointed by the fact their personality sucks. Not to mention that he did not converse well. Normally a conversation has a sender and a receiver where they each take turns in the action. Not in this case. I started the conversation, Me: "How has your journey been?" Him: "Fine, saw some interesting things" Me: "Where do you work?" Him: "I'm a fire fighter." My mind: oohhh Sexy!
Me: "Do you like doing that for work?" Him: "Yes." Me: Have you been in Montreal your whole life?" Him: "Yes." LA DAH DEE DAH DEE DEE DE DAH..... That is about how the conversation went. I gave up on trying to talk with him and pretended to listen to the music. But really I was undressing him in my mind. Then I dressed him up in his fire fighter uniform, then undressed him again, and again, and again, and again, and again..........
With a French accent, he road his motorcycle directly from Montreal Canada. I parked behind it wondering how the mysterious black machine made its way from Quebec, by wheels or wings. He walked with confidence and magnetic attraction. His very shapely gluteus maximus made its presence known through the Khaki cargo shorts that made me smile and my eyes splurge. I wondered how long I should allow him to look at the art on the walls before it would be almost appropriate for me to interrupt with my impervious intentions to learn more about him. Okay, I think twenty minutes would be acceptable.
All I know so far is that he is from Canada (and that's not too impressive), he rides a motor cycle, and he likes jazz music. Okay, I can work with those things for my intention. He was looking at a photo of Frida Kahlo. I slowly approached him looking at the art photo, "Frida Kahlo, are you a fan of her work?" I asked. Quietly he said, "Yes." We talked briefly about why he was here in Oshkosh and he wanted to see the Packers play, blah, blah, blah, he said something after that. Kinda lost him when the Packers were mentioned. Then, remembering he likes jazz music, I by coincidence, mention to him that there is a jazz band playing tonight at one of the pubs down town. "Oh, that sound interesting." He said looking me in the eyes on my face that refused to stop pouring over him. He asked the details of the time and place. After I gave it to him, he smiled and said, "Maybe we can just meet there." Oh yeah! Hook, line, and sinker!
Later that evening at the pub, we met up and I was ready for a dream tryst but instead, I got a surprise, not a dream tryst. Just exactly the opposite of what I was hoping for. PISSER!
Sometimes you go for the looks and sexual attraction of a person only to be disappointed by the fact their personality sucks. Not to mention that he did not converse well. Normally a conversation has a sender and a receiver where they each take turns in the action. Not in this case. I started the conversation, Me: "How has your journey been?" Him: "Fine, saw some interesting things" Me: "Where do you work?" Him: "I'm a fire fighter." My mind: oohhh Sexy!
Me: "Do you like doing that for work?" Him: "Yes." Me: Have you been in Montreal your whole life?" Him: "Yes." LA DAH DEE DAH DEE DEE DE DAH..... That is about how the conversation went. I gave up on trying to talk with him and pretended to listen to the music. But really I was undressing him in my mind. Then I dressed him up in his fire fighter uniform, then undressed him again, and again, and again, and again, and again..........
Monday, September 14, 2009
Blind mime
The lunch date has got to be my favorite because sometimes I can't get away from these guys fast enough. I was set up on another blind date... UGH! Why do I torture myself? Is there a Mr. Right out there or is he already married to my nemesis? Perhaps, he is merely a figment of my imagination of a possibility that I have only painted about.
I have come to the conclusion how 'blind date' has earned the name. How you ask? Because some of them, I would rather gouge my eyes out than go on a date with them let alone be seen with them. Too bad everyone else wasn't blind! A man of short stature and clearly out of my age range. Walks into a bar; okay, this sounds like beginning of a joke, actually, it is the beginning of a date that was a joke. A guy walks into a bar. I see him right away from the imagination in my head that has been added to the description that was given to me. Good thing I didn't have high expectations. Or any expectations.
After the hostess seated us at the table he just smiled at me and said, "So..." I looked at him with a half smile on my face and eyebrows raised, expecting him to say something more than 'so'. After a long pause, I asked him, "So... What?" He didn't say anything more. Okay great, I am on a date with a mime! Picking up the menu and looking at it I hoped to distract myself and pretend I was somewhere more exciting, maybe a mid-term at school, or getting blood drawn, taking out the garbage. Oh, back to the date. "So... what are you going to order?" He asks finally finishing the sentence he began five minutes ago. "I will have the chicken sandwich with french onion soup." I reply in a confident tone. The shy guy remains silent looking at me. Okay, I will go through the formality of asking if it pleases him, "What will you be having?" I ask him. "I'm not sure, I was thinking of the steak sandwich but maybe I will have what you are having." That was his reply. I ask "Why? If you already know what you are having, why would you change it?" "I don't know, it sound s good." He says. "Well, get what ever you want, I am sure everything is good." Everything but this date that is.
Ahh, the waitress finally arrives. She takes my order than his. No surprise he ordered the same as me but, he does change his mind on the sandwich and ordered the steak sandwich. When the soup arrived, he dug through it with his spoon like a tribal warrior. Then he asks me, "What is this." I look up from my fantastic tasting soup that I was enjoying only to be interrupted by a stupid question. Sure, while we waited for the waitress, he didn't have anything to say, now that I am enjoying the best crock of french onion soup on the face of the planet, now he talks. Great! "It is the soup you ordered." I replied. He tried it and what do ya know, he likes it. 'Mikey likes it.' that's Life (cereal). Okay, if you were born in the 1980's you didn't get that.
Wow, can you believe the 80's style is coming back, again!? Last week I actually saw stirrup pants in the department stores. Heaven help us all. Please oh Lord of Heaven and fashion, do not allow the mile high, hair spray, cliff hanging bangs to come back. Remember, when you could judge a girl by the height of her bangs? The taller the bangs, the bigger the bitch she was. Maybe all the hairspray got heavy carrying all that around. ha ha
Really not much to mention about the date since we didn't talk much. He did however say his sandwich was good. Guess I won't be calling him. What would be the point unless I was calling to talk to myself. I talk to myself enough as it is.
I have come to the conclusion how 'blind date' has earned the name. How you ask? Because some of them, I would rather gouge my eyes out than go on a date with them let alone be seen with them. Too bad everyone else wasn't blind! A man of short stature and clearly out of my age range. Walks into a bar; okay, this sounds like beginning of a joke, actually, it is the beginning of a date that was a joke. A guy walks into a bar. I see him right away from the imagination in my head that has been added to the description that was given to me. Good thing I didn't have high expectations. Or any expectations.
After the hostess seated us at the table he just smiled at me and said, "So..." I looked at him with a half smile on my face and eyebrows raised, expecting him to say something more than 'so'. After a long pause, I asked him, "So... What?" He didn't say anything more. Okay great, I am on a date with a mime! Picking up the menu and looking at it I hoped to distract myself and pretend I was somewhere more exciting, maybe a mid-term at school, or getting blood drawn, taking out the garbage. Oh, back to the date. "So... what are you going to order?" He asks finally finishing the sentence he began five minutes ago. "I will have the chicken sandwich with french onion soup." I reply in a confident tone. The shy guy remains silent looking at me. Okay, I will go through the formality of asking if it pleases him, "What will you be having?" I ask him. "I'm not sure, I was thinking of the steak sandwich but maybe I will have what you are having." That was his reply. I ask "Why? If you already know what you are having, why would you change it?" "I don't know, it sound s good." He says. "Well, get what ever you want, I am sure everything is good." Everything but this date that is.
Ahh, the waitress finally arrives. She takes my order than his. No surprise he ordered the same as me but, he does change his mind on the sandwich and ordered the steak sandwich. When the soup arrived, he dug through it with his spoon like a tribal warrior. Then he asks me, "What is this." I look up from my fantastic tasting soup that I was enjoying only to be interrupted by a stupid question. Sure, while we waited for the waitress, he didn't have anything to say, now that I am enjoying the best crock of french onion soup on the face of the planet, now he talks. Great! "It is the soup you ordered." I replied. He tried it and what do ya know, he likes it. 'Mikey likes it.' that's Life (cereal). Okay, if you were born in the 1980's you didn't get that.
Wow, can you believe the 80's style is coming back, again!? Last week I actually saw stirrup pants in the department stores. Heaven help us all. Please oh Lord of Heaven and fashion, do not allow the mile high, hair spray, cliff hanging bangs to come back. Remember, when you could judge a girl by the height of her bangs? The taller the bangs, the bigger the bitch she was. Maybe all the hairspray got heavy carrying all that around. ha ha
Really not much to mention about the date since we didn't talk much. He did however say his sandwich was good. Guess I won't be calling him. What would be the point unless I was calling to talk to myself. I talk to myself enough as it is.
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