The plan was to meet at noon for lunch. He told me he would be coming from work so he would be wearing his work uniform. A blue shirt with his name written in blue thread on the left front shoulder. Good thing he told me because he didn't look like the photo online.
I arrived ten minutes early. I waited until 12:15 when I was thinking to give him another 5 minutes then I was planning to leave. All of a sudden he appears from the back of the restaurant with his check ready to pay. I said hi and asked, "Didn't we agree to meet at noon?" He said, Yeah, we did but I got here early." "Oh, okay. So then are you finished eating already?" I asked as I pointed to the check in his hand. "Yeah, but you can still eat. I will sit with you and have some more coffee." He was trying to be nice but I was uncomfortable and a little confused."
The not so exotic smell of grease and coffee retched through my nostrils as I tried not to flinch at the terrible smell as I looked over the menu. So many things to choose from and so many pretty pictures. Much nicer to look at than my date who pointed to his favorites on the menu. When he reached across the sticky maple syrup table, his gross, black grease stained poorly washed nail bitten fingers grossed me out. Just to get the moment rolling, I choose one of his suggestions and placed my order.
As I ate by myself, he told me a story about a friend of his that had a big snake and a big tarantula as pets. Then he continued on telling he how each one died and the guy had gloves, a belt, and boots made from the dead snake. His next choice of topic was even worse. He began telling me about every broken bone he has ever had and about the terrible motorcycle accident he was in but refused to go to the hospital. He said instead he went to a bar and poured shots of alcohol on the open wounds. He even went into detail about the open wounds, gravel inside of his skin, and pulling the torn skin off by himself. Did I mention the small little fact that I WAS EATING! gross. Why would you talk about that stuff on a first date and why would you tell anyone those stories while they are eating?!
At the end of the date, he pays the check and then asks me if I would like to go with him again. Are you kidding me?! I obviously didn't finish my lunch. I think his choice in conversation topics had a lot to do with that. Gross!
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Bowling updates
The Bowling Pin Head keeps emailing me his bowling schedule and his bowling scores when he goes bowling. He invites me to every one of his bowling games. Ugh! Give me a break pal! He is leaving for his annual bowling trip to Los Vegas and he made sure to update me everyday on how the plan is coming along. Maybe someone should tell him that bowling is NOT exciting. How pathetic does life have to be to have the most exciting thing and only thing to talk about is bowling. Sure, it can be good exercise and maybe fun to enjoy with some friends and a few drinks well, maybe a lot of drinks. But for that to be the only conversation and interest wow, that is sad.
***
Have you ever seen the movie Shakes the Clown? It is an old movie with Bobcat Goldthwait. He wrote and stars in the movie of an alcoholic party clown who seems to always get himself in trouble but is helped out by his best friend (played by Adam Sandler). It is a funny movie with a serious twist but everything in the movie is clown related. For example, the pub they hang out in is called the Twisted Balloon. To get to the point, Bobcat Goldthwait's character has a girlfriend who is a "professional bowler" with a speech impediment. It is a good movie, go rent it.
***
Have you ever seen the movie Shakes the Clown? It is an old movie with Bobcat Goldthwait. He wrote and stars in the movie of an alcoholic party clown who seems to always get himself in trouble but is helped out by his best friend (played by Adam Sandler). It is a funny movie with a serious twist but everything in the movie is clown related. For example, the pub they hang out in is called the Twisted Balloon. To get to the point, Bobcat Goldthwait's character has a girlfriend who is a "professional bowler" with a speech impediment. It is a good movie, go rent it.
Arcade games and no touchy
The movie Avatar has been in theaters for sometime and has been doing very well. People who have seen it say it is really good. My date last night took me to see this movie and it was good but but I felt it to be longer than it needed to be. It was two and a half hours long, that is a long time to be sitting in a movie theater. I am not into the big chase scenes and the violence. I am sure that is to please the male factor in the audience. But other than that, it was good. The movie is an updated version of Pocahontas for the Y2K generation.
First the date started at a popular pizza and arcade place. He likes to play video games and it seems his intellect may not be any broader than that. We met there, I was starving since I had spent all day in the ceramics lab at school I didn't have time for lunch. The pizza was good too. :)
He may spend a lot of time playing video games at home but I kicked his but at air hockey and table soccer. It was good exercise playing those games for an hour. Another thing, part of the method to my madness was to keep him at a distance away. With him across a big game table he wouldn't be able to try and rub my back. *Shivers* Every chance he had, he would try to rub my back. If I walked next to him, he would reach over and rub my back and the same if I sat next to him. No touchy! I would intentionally walk fast so he couldn't do that. I also made sure not to initiate and physical contact like no hugging, no touching his hand or arm, no little punches to the shoulder, none of that. I could see he was handy enough and didn't want to encourage it. The theater had wide seats so I sat all the way to the other side of my seat to make sure there wasn't any chance of an arm being put around me.
Anytime I would say anything to start a conversation he would just say "Yup." Is that even a word? "Yup." "Yup." "Yup." That was his response to nearly everything. This guy is definitely from Wisconsin. No offence to you Wisconsinites reading this. But if you have dated a man from Wisconsin, then perhaps you know what I am talking about. I am sure he was probably just nervous though.
It was late, 10:30 by the time the movie was over. I went home and was surprised around 11:20pm when I received a phone call from the guy. He was "Just checking to make sure you made it home alright." That was nice because the weather was terrible. the fog was so thick driving home, it was like having Stevie Wonder drive.
First the date started at a popular pizza and arcade place. He likes to play video games and it seems his intellect may not be any broader than that. We met there, I was starving since I had spent all day in the ceramics lab at school I didn't have time for lunch. The pizza was good too. :)
He may spend a lot of time playing video games at home but I kicked his but at air hockey and table soccer. It was good exercise playing those games for an hour. Another thing, part of the method to my madness was to keep him at a distance away. With him across a big game table he wouldn't be able to try and rub my back. *Shivers* Every chance he had, he would try to rub my back. If I walked next to him, he would reach over and rub my back and the same if I sat next to him. No touchy! I would intentionally walk fast so he couldn't do that. I also made sure not to initiate and physical contact like no hugging, no touching his hand or arm, no little punches to the shoulder, none of that. I could see he was handy enough and didn't want to encourage it. The theater had wide seats so I sat all the way to the other side of my seat to make sure there wasn't any chance of an arm being put around me.
Anytime I would say anything to start a conversation he would just say "Yup." Is that even a word? "Yup." "Yup." "Yup." That was his response to nearly everything. This guy is definitely from Wisconsin. No offence to you Wisconsinites reading this. But if you have dated a man from Wisconsin, then perhaps you know what I am talking about. I am sure he was probably just nervous though.
It was late, 10:30 by the time the movie was over. I went home and was surprised around 11:20pm when I received a phone call from the guy. He was "Just checking to make sure you made it home alright." That was nice because the weather was terrible. the fog was so thick driving home, it was like having Stevie Wonder drive.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
Cell phone call
A couple of weeks ago, a date was scheduled, the guy never called to cancel and he didn't show up. Oh well I thought to myself, no big deal, there are plenty more. I left it completely out of my mind.
Thant is until he called this week. He called me and apologized for not showing up and said he felt bad but it really was unavoidable. I could hear an echo in the back ground and asked, "Is that your phone, where are you because I can hear your voice echoing?" He replied, "Oh, I am in a room and it echos in here." He continued to go on letting me know that he was going to be gone and wouldn't be able to set up another date for awhile. I had no interest in dating him anyway so I just pretended to be nice.
I started hearing some men talking in the background of the phone. "Is someone talking to you? It is difficult for me to understand what you are saying with others talking in the background." I asked him. "No," he said, "It is just some guys waiting to use the phone." Then I joked, "What are you at a pay phone or something? Didn't they stop making those in the 1990's?" He ignored the comment and he didn't laugh. He just said, "I have to go but I wanted to call you." We said good-bye and hung up.
With an odd expression on my face and a strange feeling in my mind, I knew something was fishy. I picked up the phone and dialed automatic call back. I was bit alarmed to hear a recording on the number that I had dialed a pay phone at the county jail and no in coming calls were allowed. Holy crap! That guy better not call me again!
Thant is until he called this week. He called me and apologized for not showing up and said he felt bad but it really was unavoidable. I could hear an echo in the back ground and asked, "Is that your phone, where are you because I can hear your voice echoing?" He replied, "Oh, I am in a room and it echos in here." He continued to go on letting me know that he was going to be gone and wouldn't be able to set up another date for awhile. I had no interest in dating him anyway so I just pretended to be nice.
I started hearing some men talking in the background of the phone. "Is someone talking to you? It is difficult for me to understand what you are saying with others talking in the background." I asked him. "No," he said, "It is just some guys waiting to use the phone." Then I joked, "What are you at a pay phone or something? Didn't they stop making those in the 1990's?" He ignored the comment and he didn't laugh. He just said, "I have to go but I wanted to call you." We said good-bye and hung up.
With an odd expression on my face and a strange feeling in my mind, I knew something was fishy. I picked up the phone and dialed automatic call back. I was bit alarmed to hear a recording on the number that I had dialed a pay phone at the county jail and no in coming calls were allowed. Holy crap! That guy better not call me again!
Pre-birthday date
The day before my birthday I had a date with a really nice guy. He took me to one of my favorite restaurants, Japanese. It was on Saturday and I had never been there on a Saturday and probably will never go on a Saturday again. It was a two hour and 20 minute wait. Can you believe that?
When we finally did get to our table, it was a lot fun. The chef cooking with all of the flips and fancy vegetable cutting, tall fires and flipping shrimp tails in everyone's drinks.
My date told them that it was my birthday and they bring you a birthday cake that has "Happy Birthday" written on it in Japanese. Then they take your picture, put it in a card, and sing "Happy Birthday" in Japanese. The food was always oh so good! Eating the left-overs the next day is the second best part of eating dinner there. lol
Thank you young man. It was a lot of fun and I have a cool card to remember it by.
When we finally did get to our table, it was a lot fun. The chef cooking with all of the flips and fancy vegetable cutting, tall fires and flipping shrimp tails in everyone's drinks.
My date told them that it was my birthday and they bring you a birthday cake that has "Happy Birthday" written on it in Japanese. Then they take your picture, put it in a card, and sing "Happy Birthday" in Japanese. The food was always oh so good! Eating the left-overs the next day is the second best part of eating dinner there. lol
Thank you young man. It was a lot of fun and I have a cool card to remember it by.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Sad chuckles
The whole thing was just... I don't know where to begin. He called me, we had a short phone date. He speaks very quiet on the phone and a little bit slow. I could hear his nervousness clamor through the phone in his nervous chuckle that he seemed to do anytime there was a brief moment of silence or after finishing a sentence.
We met at one of his favorite restaurants. He was short and very closed in. You could see his shy and timid personality that out shined his portliness. He talked and walked with his head on a down angle most likely due to his shy timid demeanor.
The hostess began the long walk to our table and it was then that I noticed that the petite awkward man, took very small steps. Steps that made him appear that he was almost on the verge of stumbling forward which made him appear to be even more awkward. We sat at our table which compared to him was tiny. He ate like a starving animal. He was far finished before I even made it close to the half of my dinner. The plans were to have dinner then go see a movie. I would have liked to have ended the date after dinner but not because of anything terrible, but really it was a sad state and an uncomfortable situation.
It was sad really, it was like seeing a wounded deer. You're not sure if your should put them out of their misery of take them to a vet. Either way, you can't take them home. He obviously is strong and brave enough to ask women out on dates. So you have to give him credit there. Most men are big chicken shits that way.
He told me some sad stories about his life. You could easily see how socially inept he is. Which made it all the more obvious of his lonely state. Ugh, I felt so much pity for him. His nervous chuckle was getting hard to ignore. I am sure he probably didn't even realize he was doing it.
It was an uncomfortable and fast dinner I wanted to end the date. I truly did not want to add to anymore unfortunate moments in this guy's life.
We found the theater and looked around for seats. He didn't fit well in the seats, he kind of had to sit in on an angle. I felt even worse. We didn't have any conversation through the movie. The movie we saw was When in Rome it was funny. After the movie we were walking out "Maybe we could go for a drink or something." I smiled and said, "Thank you but no." He said that he really enjoyed it and hoped we can go out again sometime.
A little red cartoon devil popped up and sat on my left shoulder and said, "Don't do it. You are already uncomfortable. Don't do it, I know you're thinking about it." Then another little cartoon devil buddy of his popped up right next to him. He was in full agreement with the first rude cartoon. The second one said to the first in a much higher voice as if he were inhaling helium. "You know she will. Let's just see what happens." Then they looked on as if something terribly interesting was going to occur. Then on my right shoulder a little elf popped up. My internal mind just looked at him and said, "Hey, where is my shoulder Angel?" The little elf just looked at me and said, "I came instead, on behalf of your date." "Oh no, that's not fair." I said to the little elf who actually appeared to be made of plastic. He looked more like one of those little gnome's in an old woman's front lawn. You know the ones with the pick ax and the big smile on their face. They are supposed to be cute but the creepiness factor is definitely underestimated.
Then my date told me he had a really nice time. In my mind I can't understand why. I just took a deep breath and said with a half smile, "Sure, we can go out again some time." Again, I thanked him for the movie and dinner, shook his hand and wished him a safe drive.
As I walked back to my car those damn little cartoon devils jumped up and did a high five. Those little bastards! Then the elf looking gnome guy popped up again, still holding the pick ax in his hands says, "Well, I guess I won't be needing this." and disappeared. The little red cartoon devils with their little horns and pointy tails weren't going anywhere that quickly. They hung around for a bit laughing and poking fun at me.
Later that evening the guy sent me an email telling me what a great time he had on our date. I could only imagine the horrible dates he must have endured for this one to be considered a great time.
We met at one of his favorite restaurants. He was short and very closed in. You could see his shy and timid personality that out shined his portliness. He talked and walked with his head on a down angle most likely due to his shy timid demeanor.
The hostess began the long walk to our table and it was then that I noticed that the petite awkward man, took very small steps. Steps that made him appear that he was almost on the verge of stumbling forward which made him appear to be even more awkward. We sat at our table which compared to him was tiny. He ate like a starving animal. He was far finished before I even made it close to the half of my dinner. The plans were to have dinner then go see a movie. I would have liked to have ended the date after dinner but not because of anything terrible, but really it was a sad state and an uncomfortable situation.
It was sad really, it was like seeing a wounded deer. You're not sure if your should put them out of their misery of take them to a vet. Either way, you can't take them home. He obviously is strong and brave enough to ask women out on dates. So you have to give him credit there. Most men are big chicken shits that way.
He told me some sad stories about his life. You could easily see how socially inept he is. Which made it all the more obvious of his lonely state. Ugh, I felt so much pity for him. His nervous chuckle was getting hard to ignore. I am sure he probably didn't even realize he was doing it.
It was an uncomfortable and fast dinner I wanted to end the date. I truly did not want to add to anymore unfortunate moments in this guy's life.
We found the theater and looked around for seats. He didn't fit well in the seats, he kind of had to sit in on an angle. I felt even worse. We didn't have any conversation through the movie. The movie we saw was When in Rome it was funny. After the movie we were walking out "Maybe we could go for a drink or something." I smiled and said, "Thank you but no." He said that he really enjoyed it and hoped we can go out again sometime.
A little red cartoon devil popped up and sat on my left shoulder and said, "Don't do it. You are already uncomfortable. Don't do it, I know you're thinking about it." Then another little cartoon devil buddy of his popped up right next to him. He was in full agreement with the first rude cartoon. The second one said to the first in a much higher voice as if he were inhaling helium. "You know she will. Let's just see what happens." Then they looked on as if something terribly interesting was going to occur. Then on my right shoulder a little elf popped up. My internal mind just looked at him and said, "Hey, where is my shoulder Angel?" The little elf just looked at me and said, "I came instead, on behalf of your date." "Oh no, that's not fair." I said to the little elf who actually appeared to be made of plastic. He looked more like one of those little gnome's in an old woman's front lawn. You know the ones with the pick ax and the big smile on their face. They are supposed to be cute but the creepiness factor is definitely underestimated.
Then my date told me he had a really nice time. In my mind I can't understand why. I just took a deep breath and said with a half smile, "Sure, we can go out again some time." Again, I thanked him for the movie and dinner, shook his hand and wished him a safe drive.
As I walked back to my car those damn little cartoon devils jumped up and did a high five. Those little bastards! Then the elf looking gnome guy popped up again, still holding the pick ax in his hands says, "Well, I guess I won't be needing this." and disappeared. The little red cartoon devils with their little horns and pointy tails weren't going anywhere that quickly. They hung around for a bit laughing and poking fun at me.
Later that evening the guy sent me an email telling me what a great time he had on our date. I could only imagine the horrible dates he must have endured for this one to be considered a great time.
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