Three stars (***) indicates more details exclusive to the new book "Lame Men and More Bad Dates".
Friday, January 8, 2010
48 acts like 4
We got a small popcorn and drinks. Went in and searched for our seats. The movie began. Oh Sandra Bullock is in it. Okay, it just maybe a good movie after all. The movie begins to play and he begins to talk. I obviously can't hear what he says so I just say "Oh really?!" That is a pretty basic response to just about anything. Don't worry, I have plenty more. So if you are on a date sometime and you hear some of those ambiguous responses, you know your date isn't listening.
He continues to talk, and talk, and talk, and talk through the movie. I realised if I was going to be able to follow the movie, I would have to completely ignore him. Finally he shut his big trap. I am not sure if he did so because I was ignoring him or if it was because the person behind him began kicking his seat.
Then, he tries to hold my hand. Now, if you are in a dating situation where they is common or mutual interest, then try to hold her hand. Since I am very polite (most of the time), I let him hold my hand for a few minutes. Then I pretended to scratch my face (with that hand) and put my hand on my lap. A few minutes later he tries to hold my hand while on my lap. If I were on a date with someone that I liked or was interested in, I would have been thinking like 'oh bonus, alright,... Cool.' However, I was on a date with someone I was definitely not getting good vibes about. So instead I am thinking 'crap, this sucks, now what? Now I am going to get his cooties!' I quickly moved my hand to the arm rest (still allowing him to hold it) instead of on my lap. Ten minutes later, I moved my hand again which he literally moved with it and continued to hold my hand. Holy crap! A few minutes later, I pulled my hand away simply stating, "My hand is getting sore." Then I pretended to exercise my hand moving it around, just to make it more believable. Take a hint pal.
We finished the movie and he dropped me off. Then when we arrive, he parks the car and turns it off. That's weired, did I invite him to stay? Funny how I don't remember that conversation. I looked at him, "Um, thanks for the movie. It was a really great movie." His reply was a bit unexpected, "Yeah, it was really good, do you want to go again?" I had to ask as I raised one eyebrow, "To the same movie?" He replied, "Yeah, I mean if you liked it that much, I want to see it again." Taken a bit off guard by either a sweet gesture or a stupid one (I can't figure out which), I just said, "I... um... well...I..., I am not sure. Let me think about...well, I have to look at my schedule. I'm pretty busy the next couple of weeks." Yeah, okay so a blind man could have seen through that but I mean, he completely took me off guard by that. Who would expect that?"
Ooohhhhh, the next day he calls. He is so mad and just throwing a temper tantrum. What the Hell? I answer the phone to an attitude the size of Utah. "I don't like it that you wouldn't hold my hand at the movie last night." Get over it buddy. Can you believe this guy? He continues, "It's not like we are fighting." Okay, I had to jump in. Um, we are not even going out. How could we possibly be fighting?" Fighting? I barely know this guy. The more I know of him, the less I want to know. He continues with, "I don't think we should go to the movie again. I don't think we would get along." Uh huh? And what? I never wanted to go with him anywhere. I just responded, "I think your right. It doesn't seem like we would have fun together." Then hoping he would get the hint (seems like he finally got the hint I didn't want to hold his hand), I said, "Thanks for calling though." He must have been taken by surprise now because the phone got really quiet. "okay..." he said very slowly. I wanted to end the conversation, "Well, take it easy, good luck." and I hung up the phone. Creep. That is a first, I never had someone call up the next day and throw a fit and try to have an argument. I really think that was his goal. I think inside, he is one of those people who try to cause problems and chaos just for the excitement. Don't need any of that! What a dork. lol
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Toxic phone message.
Interim crush
There's this kid who sits two seats away from me. Kinda cute but way to young for me. I guess I shouldn't call him a kid, he is probably in his early-mid twenties. Anyway, from the first day of class he keeps on looking at me. Every time I look over, you know when you get that "someones looking at me" feeling. It is him. Maybe I have some broccoli in my teeth from last week. Just kidding. When I leave class he always makes eye contact with me and says "goodbye" to me. I am amazing, who can blame him. LOL Maybe he has never seen a beautiful, funny, smart, talented, and remarkably humble artist out of her natural habitat.
View of my personality.
Are you in great suspense now? The blogger, me, in on the hot seat. Okay here they are in any order. And these probably aren't even all of them but to show I am fair and not only throwing men under the bus or on the third rail. By all means, read on.
1. "You are too honest. People don't want to hear the truth."
Okay, whatever that means. Maybe he is trying to say he is a liar and has no conscious.
2. "You are mean in a nice way."
I asked him to elaborate on that. What could that possibly mean?
"Well, I don't know how to say it, but you make sure people get the hint but you say it with a smile. You can be very direct but polite at the same time."
The only thing I could think of would be like... Please go to hell. Have a nice f**king day. "Are those examples of what you mean?" I asked.
"Not exactly but I think you get it." he replied as his eyebrows quickly lowered and scrunched down his forehead, making his eyes seem very small.
3. "I think people are intimidated by you. You're too smart and men don't want to be with women smarter than them."
"What?! Are you kidding me with this stuff?" I asked confused and half laughing.
"It's true, men feel dumb if the woman knows more than him or if she makes more money than him. He feels like less of a man." they explained.
Of course the image of a dumb blond wearing shoulder pads entered my mind. I understand the financial thing but not liking a woman who is intelligent is just plain stupid. Although, I truly have had that experience before. My first ex-husband that one thing he did say in the beginning of our divorce. One day he blurted out, "...and you're smarter than me." Well, I guess I just need a good educated man then. Why can't men be upset if a woman cleans better or cooks better, perhaps it would encourage them to do a better job. I believe it is possible for a man to put the toilet seat down. Don't you?
4. "You're too nice to people. You need to learn how to say 'no'."
This is true, I have a very difficult time saying 'no'. I am trying to work on that. I am good at saying no to men who don't understand the meaning of 'no' but to others who need or don't need but ask for my help anyway, I have a difficult time saying the word.
These are the first things that arose in their minds and if these are my bad traits, I don't think they are that bad. And just for the record, the men I have dated in my past, none of them ever regretted dating me. I think that has something to say. Of course, everyone has things about them that they would like to change and I am no exception. I can certainly help point out a few things for those of you who are not sure. Just ask me, I'll tell ya.
Monday, January 4, 2010
The birthday boy
The waitress is willing to take our order now that we are ready. Both of us order steak, it comes with fresh bread, soup, and a salad before the main course. Half the bread is gone when the soup arrives at the table. He swallows straight half the soup and puts it aside for the waitress and the salads are brought to us. I am still working on the soup. "Please wait a little bit before bringing our dinners out." I ask the waitress. "Sure, no problem.", she says as she smiles and whisks aways with her blond hair in flight like a kite behind her. The human trash compactor inhales his salad in minutes. No talking just bite and swallow.
As I continue to enjoy my soup and start on my salad he says in a very disappointed tone. "I wish you hadn't asked her to take longer to bring out our dinners." I responded, "Sorry, everything was just coming out so fast." He looks at me as if I completely missed out on a news flash, and says, "Yeah but I like steak that is why I was hurrying to get through the other stuff. I want to eat my steak." Has he never eaten a meal before in his life? I remained silent and continued with my salad. Light green lettuce, dark green spinach, that weired shaped purple thing, bright red tomatoes, crisp bacon bits, white ranch dressing with black pepper on top. Mmmm, so beautiful and so good. What.. huh... yeah, oh the date, I was trying to forget he was there. Worried about his steak and all. Guys, you shouldn't lie to a woman but it never hurts to pretend that you are a civilised human being.
The steak makes its grand appearance and I might add looks incredibly delicious. Half way through my steak, he is already finished with his. I have had plenty and was feeling quite full. The logical thing to do was to ask for a box to take it home for tomorrows breakfast. I ask the waitress for a to-go box and off she goes. He looked at me and asked to only all to obvious, "Are you taking that home?" "Yeah,... it will be very good with eggs in the morning." I responded. "You should finish that, it is really good." he stammered. "I know it is good but I am very full and I can't eat anymore." I told him. "Well" he began with a pause, ..."I can wait if you want to eat it slowly." No thank you, i ate too much already, I will only get sick. Thanks anyway." I said with an inquisitive look on my face. What a freak. I understand he likes steak but it seems he is a little obsessed with it. Gimme a break.
Do men intentionally show there bad attributes on first dates, or are these what they consider good attributes? Maybe they don't even realize. What is even scarier is that you know they are hiding the worst ones. This is one rabbit hole I don't want to fall down. He obviously can be controlling, can't take "no" for an answer, and focuses on instant gratification. Definitely not traits I am looking for.
Back 2 blogging
See you soon!
Friday, October 2, 2009
He thinks he is an author...
Hey ADD boy, pay attention. Later half way through the date would I realize that he doesn't pay for anything.
He was a pathetic date indeed. Before a date I usually do a quick background search, a girl never knows these days. Well, he failed it miserably. Wow. I was going to cancel the date but out of sheer morbid curiosity, I decided to keep it. First of all, he thought he was a writer often referred to himself as such. And doing so very often. *eye roll* He could barely spell his name. Okay, first we met at a restaurant. We have sandwiches, nothing formal. The conversation was all about him, I Wonder sometime if he thought he was in a therapy session. Talking about how many bad relationships he has been in. Coincidentally, they all involved him, he obviously has not figured out the common denominator. By the way, did I mention I looked up his record. He has quite the attitude and enough restraining orders on him to make Bill Clinton seem innocent.
So during lunch, he talked about himself, a lot, and how he wants to right books about how his previous girlfriends wronged him... WHOA, back up! Did he say that he wants to wright books on how bad his relationships were? Yup, that is what he said. He is a real fun date uh? An idol of idiot worshipers I would say. It has been over an hour into the date had he hasn't even complimented me yet. Hasn't asked me any questions, nothing. I'm not saying the date revolves around me but I think I am taking part in the date. Wait a minute... is that a fat lady I hear singing??? no, I guess not, the date is still going on. Pisser! Ooh, the check is finally here, now I can thank him and go.
The waitress put the check on the table and as she walked away, he slid the check over to me and said, "Thank you for lunch." What the hell?! The look on my face must have been priceless but apparently, lunch wasn't. Okay, just because I didn't want to create a scene and I wanted to bail, I paid the bill. "Okay, yeah, see ya, have a safe drive." I said as I turn to leave and pay the check. Don't bother trying to figure out if he left the tip, he didn't. On my way to my car, I realized he was following me. "Do you need directions to the highway from here?" I asked him. "No, I was going to ask you if you wanted to play pool?" he replied. What? it was almost 2:00 in the afternoon. I tried to come up with a good excuse, "No, I have stuff I have to do, homework." Then he quickly and unwittingly replied without a clue, "Before, you said you didn't have any plans for later today. It is only one game." Ugh! "Are you serious?!" I asked him. "Yeah. I like to play pool." Okay, I guess I felt sorry for the dumb guy, uh, I mean the dumb blank expression on his face. Plus, he did drive a little over an hour to go on a date with me. "Okay." I agreed to play one game of pool.
We went to a near by pool hall. He proudly looks at me with change in his hand and says, "I'll get it." Wow, where was that enthusiasm when it was time to pay for lunch. Anyway, he puts the ball set on the table and he actually flips a coin to see who will break. Are we in the fourth grade? I tried to slid the hint across the table that we needed to order something to drink. "We should probably order something to drink, they wouldn't appreciate it if we just played pool without ordering anything." Okay, ... a real man would have at least stepped up and said, "You're right. What would you like to drink?" and then would have proceeded to the bar keep to get us drinks. What does this Schmuck say? "I don't care what we have as long as you're buying."
Ladies, that is a quote. He actually said that! "What did you say?" I asked him as I whipped my head around with the look of hell fire glowing in my eyes. In a softer calmer voice, "I'm just saying, whatever you want to buy me is fine." he replied with his ears folded back like a scolded dog. I took in a deep breath of irritation and shock, walked up to the bar and looked at the bar keeper. A nice older fellow looked at me as though he has seen this type before, "What can I get you?" He asked with a half smile rounding his face. "A white dove and a bottle of Similac.", I wittingly retorted. "What did you say?" he asked with a confused look and a tilt of his head. I shook of the idea, "A white dove and a class of water please." I responded. "White dove and a glass of water.", he repeated. "No, I guess you better make it two white doves." I said as disappointment crowned my aching head. I looked back at the pool table where prince not-so-charming and not too bright was trying to figure out where the triangle to rack is kept.
I just looked at the bar keeper who was waiting for payment, paid him for the drinks, shook my head and rolled my eyes at the pitiful sight behind me. "Thank you, please keep the change." I went back the table handed him his drink and then plucked the triangle from the place it was hanging just inches from his fat head. I handed it to him, "Looking for this?"
The pool game begins. Now, I am not afraid to admit that I am not very good at pool, in fact, I openly mentioned this to him. When I miss a couple of what I am told by him are "easy shots" he looks at me and says, "You are probably trying to shark me." Oooh, "Yeah," I said. "I am sharking you because I want to pay for lunch." Stupid.
Can he make any more of an ass of himself? Apparently he can. After the game I said "good bye" again and "have a safe trip." I just threw that last one in there to seem nice. At this point, I didn't care if he had a bad trip or not. In fact, I wanted to push him down and not even wait for him to trip. LOL He asks me if I want to kiss him. "No thanks, I don't kiss on the first date." Well, do you want to feel me and see if I have something you like?" UGH! F**ker! I told him, "You better leave before I smack you for being so disrespectful to me!" Then he says, as if that comment didn't come out of his mouth, he says, "Thanks for lunch." All I could say with a pissed off look on my face as violent cartoon images were going through my mind, "You're welcome." Add I left. Can you imagine? That piece of crap actual emailed me a few days later asking me if I want to buy a copy of his book. By the way, did I mention that his "book" was mearly a 30 pages folded in half with staples. Yeah, he just was printing them off himself saying that they were published. Idiot! I blocked him on my email.